Echo Maps
of select macrotonal poems
The Madness of a Cloud: First 8 Lines
Line 01
[C][l]oud was [s][i]tt[i]ng at [S][e]v[e]nth H[ea]v[e]n d[r]in[k]ing a Fernet on the [r]o[ck]s e[n]g[a]g[i]ng i[n] [l]ight [c]onver[s][a]t[i]on with a [c]o[ck][s]u[ck]er h[e]’d ne[v]er [e][v]en met [a][b]out [a] [Q]ueen’s [B][l]ood [p][l][ay]-in g[a]me that he’d - this [p]arti[c]ular [c]o[ck][s]u[ck]er - [r]e[q]uested to [b]e [p]ut on the [T][V] at the [b]ar. Well, a[c]tual[l]y [C][l]oud [c]o[r]re[c]ted, for the [r]e[c]ord, that he’d a[c]tua[l]ly been [r]eading a [f]ew [p][a]ges of [T]im[a]eus [p][r]ior to all this, [m][a]king a [f]ew [d]is[p]a[r]ate notes, [f]in[d]ing him[s]el[f] [p]uzzled at the [s]en[s]o[r]y in[f]or[m]ation that [c]on[t]inued [t]o [b]e [r]e[l][ay]ed in[t]o his [b][r][ai]n. [C][l]oud [b][a]si[c]a[l]ly a[l]leged he was [f][l]u[m]moxed a[b]out the [s]en[s]o[r]y in[f]orm[a]tion that [b]e[c][a]me, in [s]ome [w][ay], [r]el[ay]ed to [w]hat he guessed [w]as his [b][r][ai]n? - how any of that was [c]o[r]ro[b]o[r]ated, [b]ut [m]ore [s]o [C][l]oud [c]on[t]em[p][l][a]ted the [s][t]ati[c] n[a]ture of [s]aid i[m]ages - that’s [w]hat he [w]as [s][p]e[c]ifi[c]a[l]ly [c]on[t]em[p][l]ating [w]hen [a] guy [w]ith [a] r[ou]nd-a[s]s [f]a[c]e [l]eaned [o]n[t]o the [b]ar, [s]ee[k]ing to [c][l]ose his [t]ab, obviou[s][l]y ex[c]ited [t]o [t]ell the [b]ar[t]ender that he may n[ee]d to show [h]er [h]is I[D], just [b]e[c]ause he [t]oo[k] his wife’s [l]a[s]t name and [h]adn’t [h]ad a [ch]an[c]e to [ch]ange his [l]i[c]en[s]e yet? The pa[t][r]on with the [r]ound-a[s]s [f]a[c]e [n]oted how [n]i[c]e the bar[t]ender was ([T]i[f]a!), [b]ut [w]hat [w]as her [n]ame again? He [c]ould [d]e[f][i][n][i]te[l][y] [d]isp[l]ay his I[D] if sh[e] r[ea][l]l[y] [n][ee]ded, just be[c]ause, again, his [l]ast [n]ame [w]as [d]i[f]ferent [n]ow - ta[k]ing his [w]i[f]e’s [n]ame and all!
Echoes: 246
Cloud was sitting at Seventh Heaven drinking a Fernet on the rocks engaging in light conversation with a cocksucker he’d never even met about a Queen’s Blood play-in game that he’d - this particular cocksucker - requested to be put on the TV at the bar. Well, actually Cloud corrected, for the record, that he’d actually been reading a few pages of Timaeus prior to all this, making a few disparate notes, finding himself puzzled at the sensory information that continued to be relayed into his brain. Cloud basically alleged he was flummoxed about the sensory information that became, in some way, relayed to what he guessed was his brain? - how any of that was corroborated, but more so Cloud contemplated the static nature of said images - that’s what he was specifically contemplating when a guy with a round-ass face leaned onto the bar, seeking to close his tab, obviously excited to tell the bartender that he may need to show her his ID, just because he took his wife’s last name and hadn’t had a chance to change his license yet? The patron with the round-ass face noted how nice the bartender was (Tifa!), but what was her name again? He could definitely display his ID if she really needed, just because, again, his last name was different now - taking his wife’s name and all!
Syllables: 344
Quotient: .715
Line 02
Of [c]ourse, [C][l]oud [n][o]ted, [th]at it was [c]lear [th]at [n][o] one gave [a] [f]u[c]k [a]bout the [p][r]inted name on [a] [c][r]edit [c][ar]d in that b[ar], and Ti[f]a, [f]or her [p][ar]t, [d]i[d]n’t exa[c]t[l][y] [s][ee]m [l]i[k]e she was [r]am[p]ing [u][p] to [s][u]ck this [d]ude o[f]f j[u]st be[c][au]se he was a [r]a[d]i[c]al [f]eminist. [F]or [C][l]oud’s [p]art he was still, you know, a[tt]em[p]ting [t]o get [b][e]hind the [b][l]unt [s]en[s]ations [b][e]ing [s]muggled [r]e[l]ent[l]e[s]s[l]y into his [s]o-[c]alled [c]onsciou[s] [e]xi[s]ten[c]e. [E]ve[r]ything was [a]n [i]mage to [s]ome e[x]tent, [r]ight Ae[r]ith? Touch it[s]el[f] was a [f]u[c]king [s]en[s]o[r]y [i]m[a]ge. [I]t was a [q]uaint [S]p[r]ing evening where [C][l]oud [f]elt m[or]e [or] [l][es]s [d][es]tined to [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph][i]ze, having [s]tarted [d][r]in[k]ing w[i]ne in [p][r]e[p]a[r]ation [f]or a [F][r][i][d]ay [n][i]ght [d]inner, on[l]y to have Ti[f]a [b]ail [l]ast mi[n]ute, [b]e[c]ause sh[e] [n][ee]ded to [p][i][c]k u[p] a [b]ar sh[i][f]t - [l][ea]ving him [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] fr[ee] to [c]ontinue this wine [d][r]in[k][i]ng [i]n a [r][i]tual[i][s]ti[c] [w]ay that [w]ould be [c]on[d]u[c]ive to [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]i[c]al i[d]eas.
Echoes: 178
Of course, Cloud noted, that it was clear that no one gave a fuck about the printed name on a credit card in that bar, and Tifa, for her part, didn’t exactly seem like she was ramping up to suck this dude off just because he was a radical feminist. For Cloud’s part he was still, you know, attempting to get behind the blunt sensations being smuggled relentlessly into his so-called conscious existence. Everything was an image to some extent, right Aerith? Touch itself was a fucking sensory image. It was a quaint Spring evening where Cloud felt more or less destined to philosophize, having started drinking wine in preparation for a Friday night dinner, only to have Tifa bail last minute, because she needed to pick up a bar shift - leaving him completely free to continue this wine drinking in a ritualistic way that would be conducive to philosophical ideas.
Syllables: 225
Quotient: .791
Line 03
Yes, [C][l]oud [c]on[t]inued [t]o Ae[r]ith, it was [b]asi[c]a[l]l[y] on[l][y] vi[a] d[r]in[k]ing [a][l]one, [b]ut in [a] [r]itua[l]i[s]ti[c] [f][a]shion, th[a]t h[e]’d ach[ie]ved any [s]ort of [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph][i][c]al [i]n[q]uiry. You [c]oul[d]n’t just [s]it at a [d]e[s]k and be[c]ome [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]i[c]al, at [l]ea[s]t [n]ot for [C][l]oud! May[b][e] [s]ome [p][eo][p]le [c]ould! [B]ut, [n]o, [n]ot [C][l]oud. He’d i[m]agine [th]at [th]ere were [p]ro[b]a[b][l]y a [l]itany of [p]o[s]si[b]le ways of [b]e[c]o[m]ing [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]i[c]al - [l]i[k]e, [f]or in[s]tan[c]e, [f]or the round-[f]a[c]ed al[b]ino ch[a][p], [p]erh[a][p]s [t]e[l]ling [T]i[f]a that he’d [t]aken his wi[f]e’s [l][a]st n[a]me, m[ay][b]e that could [b][e] [s][ee]n as po[s]si[b][l][y] ritua[l][i][s]t[i][c] [i]n a w[ay], a g[a]tew[ay] to [s]ome [s]ort of be[c]oming [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]i[c]al. This was a[c]tua[l]ly [s]cien[c]e, [C][l]oud [t]old [h]er [h]e [th]ought at [th]e bar, [s]uc[c]e[s]sfully avoidi[ng] [m]a[k]i[ng] any eye [c]on[t]a[c]t with the round-fa[c]ed [m]an.
Echoes: 157
Yes, Cloud continued to Aerith, it was basically only via drinking alone, but in a ritualistic fashion, that he’d achieved any sort of philosophical inquiry. You couldn’t just sit at a desk and become philosophical, at least not for Cloud! Maybe some people could! But, no, not Cloud. He’d imagine that there were probably a litany of possible ways of becoming philosophical - like, for instance, for the round-faced albino chap, perhaps telling Tifa that he’d taken his wife’s last name, maybe that could be seen as possibly ritualistic in a way, a gateway to some sort of becoming philosophical. This was actually science, Cloud told her he thought at the bar, successfully avoiding making any eye contact with the round-faced man.
Syllables: 201
Quotient: .781
Line 04
Was it [n]e[c]e[s]sa[r]ily [s]t[r]ange at all that [o]n[c]e the G[r]ee[k]s [w]ent extin[c]t [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]y went m[or]e [or] [l]ess [c]omp[l][e]te[l][y] and utter[l][y] downhill and [n]ever [l]oo[k]ed b[a][c]k in the [l]ea[s]t, [th][a]t [th]e [l][a][s]t group to [r][ea]l[l]y [r][ea]ch much of any [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]i[c]al [s]u[c]ce[s]s made a [s]in[c]ere e[ff]ort to [c]onjoin getting [f][u][c]ked [u][p] with [c]on[t]em[p][l]ating in[t]e[l]ligible [ph]e[n]o[m]e[n]a? - [th]at [th][e]se G[r][ee][k]s a[tt]em[p]ted [t]o [m]a[r]ry i[n][e]b[r][i]ation and [r]igo[r]ous dia[l]e[c]tic? [Th]at all [th]ought since - to [p]a[r]a[ph][r]ase [N]orthhead - had been a mi[n]or [f]oot[n]ote to [P]lato or [w]hatever? [Th]e [th]ing [w]as, a[c]cording to [C][l]oud, you just [c]oul[d]n’t w[i][l]l[y] n[i][l]l[y] [d]elve into metaph[y]s[i]cs [c]omp[l][e]te[l][y] [s]o[b]er! [B]ut that wasn’t to [s]ay a [p]er[s]on should [n]e[c]es[s]arily [b]e[c]ome [s]ome dege[n]e[r]ate al[c]oho[l]i[c] either, [b]e[c]ause a [d]ege[n]e[r]ate [d][r]unk would in [n]o w[ay] [m][a]ke a g[r][ea]t [m]eta-phys[i][c][i]st either - that was [b]a[s]i[c]a[l]ly impo[s]si[b]le, [b]e[c]ause, [l]i[k]e [C][l]oud [s]aid, the [s][o][l][o] m[o]de of in[e][b][r][i]ation should [b][e] done [r]itua[l]i[s]ti[c]a[l]ly, in [s]p[ur]ts, at [c][er]tain times. You [c]ouldn’t just [b]e [l]i[k]e h[i]tt[i]ng the [b]ottle [a]s soon [a]s you wo[k]e [f]rom a [s]lum[b]er! - a[f]ter [s]aid in[e][b][r][i]ation [s]essions you’d [r]e[q]uire [s]o[b][r][i]ety to [p]arse through [w]hatever it [w]as that [c]ame to you via [s]aid [c]ontem[p]lation, [n]o? In f[a][c]t, the [a][c]tual [s]cience was [n]othing [b]eyond this [p]ar[s]ing th[r]ough of in[e][b][r][i]ation [s]essions of [r]igo[r]ous [c]ontem[p][l][a]tion! That was it - what [l][ai]d [b]eh[i]nd [l]ogi[c] and metaph[y]s[i][c]s, in [C][l]oud’s m[i]nd at [l]east! [B]ut in[e][b][r][i]ation [c]ould [b]e anything [r]eally - [C][l]oud [c]ould en[t]er a s[t]ate of in[e]b[r][i]ation in [a] [c]ar [a][l]one on [a] Tuesd[ay] [A]M, without [c]onsuming a damn thing.
Echoes: 283
Was it necessarily strange at all that once the Greeks went extinct philosophy went more or less completely and utterly downhill and never looked back in the least, that the last group to really reach much of any philosophical success made a sincere effort to conjoin getting fucked up with contemplating intelligible phenomena? - that these Greeks attempted to marry inebriation and rigorous dialectic? That all thought since - to paraphrase Northhead - had been a minor footnote to Plato or whatever? The thing was, according to Cloud, you just couldn’t willy nilly delve into metaphysics completely sober! But that wasn’t to say a person should necessarily become some degenerate alcoholic either, because a degenerate drunk would in no way make a great meta-physicist either - that was basically impossible, because, like Cloud said, the solo mode of inebriation should be done ritualistically, in spurts, at certain times. You couldn’t just be like hitting the bottle as soon as you woke from a slumber! - after said inebriation sessions you’d require sobriety to parse through whatever it was that came to you via said contemplation, no? In fact, the actual science was nothing beyond this parsing through of inebriation sessions of rigorous contemplation! That was it - what laid behind logic and metaphysics, in Cloud’s mind at least! But inebriation could be anything really - Cloud could enter a state of inebriation in a car alone on a Tuesday AM, without consuming a damn thing.
Syllables: 406
Quotient: .697
Line 05
[A]e[r]ith [m][or]e [or] less ag[r]eed, [a]dding th[a]t on the one hand a [ph]i[l]oso[ph]ical [m][i]nd should [b]e a[b]le [t]o ana[l][y]ze, in[t]er[p][r]et, ex[t][r]a[p]o[l]ate, all of that [s]cien[t][i][f][i]c [s][t]u[f]f - but, on [th]e o[th]er, i[f] you [f]ail to [p][l]a[c]e yourself [i]n a [p]os[i]t[i]on to [r]e[c]eive [a][n]ything to [a][n]a[l]yze, in[t]er[p][r]et, or ex[t][r]a[p]o[l]ate then you were [b]a[s]i[c]a[l]ly [s][c][r]ewed! [C][l]oud m[or]e [or] [l]ess ag[r]eed [b]ut [a]dded th[a]t - [s][a]ns this ty[p]e of “in[s][p]i[r]ation,” [s]o to [s][p][ea][k] - they’d [b][e] [s]tu[c]k [s][i]tt[i]ng at [a] ta[b]le just [n]ood[l]ing [a]r[oun]d [n][on][s]en[s]i[c]a[l]ly, v[a][c]i[l]lating [b][a][c]k [a]nd forth [b]e[t]ween [t]wo [t]ypes of [n]othing[n]ess, and then just pr[o][b]a[b][l]y k[n][o][c]king [o]ff s[o]me[o]ne else’s [w]ork [b]y [a][c]cident. [B]ut [n]one of this [w]as [n]ew! It [w]asn’t [l]i[k]e [C][l]oud [w]as [b][r][ea][k]ing [n]ews i[n] a[n]y [w][ay]. [A]t this point [A]e[r]ith [a]sked - you k[n][o]w, was thi[s] [a]l[b]i[n][o] douche [b]ag, he was an e[l]ement of this [a][n]a[l]y[s]is?
Echoes: 167
Aerith more or less agreed, adding that on the one hand a philosophical mind should be able to analyze, interpret, extrapolate, all of that scientific stuff - but, on the other, if you fail to place yourself in a position to receive anything to analyze, interpret, or extrapolate then you were basically screwed! Cloud more or less agreed but added that - sans this type of “inspiration,” so to speak - they’d be stuck sitting at a table just noodling around nonsensically, vacillating back and forth between two types of nothingness, and then just probably knocking off someone else’s work by accident. But none of this was new! It wasn’t like Cloud was breaking news in any way. At this point Aerith asked - you know, was this albino douche bag, he was an element of this analysis?
Syllables: 204
Quotient: .819
Line 06
[N]o, [n]ot real[l]y - a[c]cording to [C][l]oud - maybe the g[uy] was [t][r][y]ing a [t]ad [t]oo hard? - to [p][r]es[e]nt him[s][e]l[f] as a [s][p]e[c][i][f][i]c ar[c]he[t]y[p]e [t]o the gene[r]al [p]ubli[c], as a g[uy] who [d]e[c][i][d]ed to [s][p][i]t [i]n the fa[c]e of his [o]wn [c]h[r][o]mo[s][o]me [c]ount, [w]hich [w]as [s]omething [C][l]oud [p]er[s]ona[l]ly en[d]or[s]ed! Gran[t]ed [C][l]oud [p]ro[b]a[b][l]y [w]oul[d]n’t [d]o it [b]y [t][a][k]ing his [w]ife’s [l]ast [n][a]me, [b]e[c]ause [C][l]oud [p]er[s]o[n]al[l]y was obviou[s][l][y] more [p]rone [t]o a [t][y][p]e of [i][s]o[l]ated and over[l][y] [d]ramatic [s]elf-ann[i]hi[l]ation than a [s]ub[s]ervient and [d][i][s][i]ngen[u]ous[l]y [m][u]ted [f]e[m]i[n]ist a[n]nihi[l]ation, b[u]t he w[a]sn’t i[p][s][o] [f]act[o] op[p][o]sed to either! Ae[r]ith ag[r]eed [on]e h[un]d[r]ed [p]er[c]ent! But [C][l]oud [s]till would g[o] a [l]ittle [f]urther, n[o]ting [th]at i[n] [th]e i[n]telligible [s][ph]ere, as [s][o]me[o]ne [l]i[k]e, [s]ay, Pr[o][c][l]us would n[o]te, that [s][o]-[c]alled [f]orms were [s]omehow able to [p]arti[c]i[p]ate in [o]ne an[o]ther w[i]thout m[i]xing, [w]hereas [w][i]th[i]n the [s]en[s]ible realm they [p]art[i][c][i][p]ated [i]n th[i]ngs and [s]ub[s]e[q]uent[l][y] got [d]irt[y]. But [C][l]oud [th]ought [th]at it [w]as [w]orth going [o]ne [s]tep [f]urther - [s]ince they were [d]i[s][c]u[s]sing a[n]nihilation [a]nd [s]tu[f]f [a][n]yway, [th]at [th]e [p]er[c][ei]ved m[i]x[i]ng be[t]w[ee]n [f]orms that [t]ook [p]lace in the [s]en[s]ible a[r][e]na was it[s]el[f] j[u]st [a] [p][r]oje[c]tion of [m]ixture but not a[c]tual [m]ixture.
Echoes: 233
No, not really - according to Cloud - maybe the guy was trying a tad too hard? - to present himself as a specific archetype to the general public, as a guy who decided to spit in the face of his own chromosome count, which was something Cloud personally endorsed! Granted Cloud probably wouldn’t do it by taking his wife’s last name, because Cloud personally was obviously more prone to a type of isolated and overly dramatic self-annihilation than a subservient and disingenuously muted feminist annihilation, but he wasn’t ipso facto opposed to either! Aerith agreed one hundred percent! But Cloud still would go a little further, noting that in the intelligible sphere, as someone like, say, Proclus would note, that so-called forms were somehow able to participate in one another without mixing, whereas within the sensible realm they participated in things and subsequently got dirty. But Cloud thought that it was worth going one step further - since they were discussing annihilation and stuff anyway, that the perceived mixing between forms that took place in the sensible arena was itself just a projection of mixture but not actual mixture.
Syllables: 312
Quotient: .747
Line 07
The in[t]el[l]igi[b]le sphere, [b]eing [p]ure[l]y e[m]an[a]ted, [p]ar[t]i[c]i[p][a]ted w[i]th[i]n [i]t[s]elf without [m][i]x[i]ng [i]t[s]el[f], while i[n] the [s]e[n][s]i[b]le [s][ph]ere [i]t [d][i][d]n’t [s]eem like that was [p]o[s]si[b]le, that [b]y [p]arti[c]i[p]ating w[i]th[i]n [s]en[s][i]ble [th][i]ngs [th]ey [b]e[c]ame e[s]sential[l][y] m[i]xed w[i]th them, a[s]suming they were [c]ategori[c]a[l]l[y] [s]en[s]ible. E[s]sential[l][y] [n][a]ture was t[ai]nted, which of [c]our[s]e [C][l]oud [a]nd [A]erith k[n]ew all [t]oo [w]ell! [W]ay [t]oo [w]ell! He[n][c]e thei[r] sha[r]ed a[c]quie[s]ce[n][c]e toward [o][c]c[a]sio[n]al [a][n]nihil[a]tion! [B]ut even this [s]en[s][i][b]le f[i]lth, [s]o to [s][p]ea[k], [C]loud [th]ought, [th]i[s] [p]er[c]eived m[i]x[i]ng u[p] [i]n the [p]arti[c]i[p]ation of [s]en[s][i]ble th[i]ngs, wasn’t it [a]l[s]o [a] [p]rojec[ti]on? - [a]n [e]man[a][ti]on, just as the [p]ar[t]i[c]i[p][a][ti]on of the in[t]elligible [s]phere was al[s]o [a]n [e][m]a[n]ation of the [p][r]i[m]a[r]y u[n]ity of all things? Which, yeah, [b][r]ought [C][l]oud [b][a][c]k to th[a]t al[b]i[n]o [r]ound-[f]aced [f]u[c]k at the [b]ar, [t]a[k]ing his wi[f]e’s [l]ast [n]ame - [b]e[c]ause ul[t]i[m]ate[l][y] the al[b]ino’s [v]antage point wasn’t [r]e[m]ar[k]a[b][l][y] di[v]ergent f[r]om [C][l]oud’s or Ae[r]ith’s, [C][l]oud thought. Thi[s] al[b]i[n]o was [p][r]o[m]oting a [c]ertain t[y][p]e of an[n][i]hilation of their [c]ultu[r]al-[s]en[s]i[b]le [r]ealm, [th]in[k]ing [th]at [th]e [p]at[r]iar[c]hal lineage of their [s]o[c]iety was [b]a[s]i[c]ally [s]omething obje[c]tiona[b]le, [s]omething e[s]sential[l]y t[ai]nted, that should [b]e a[n]nihi[l][a]ted in the [s]ervi[c]e of [s]omething [m]ore pure. O[k]ay, well, [C][l]oud [th]ought [th]at [m][a]de a [m]odi[c]um of [s]ense! [M][a]ybe t[a][k]ing his wi[f]e’s [l]a[s]t n[a]me was in a [s]ense a g[r][ea]ter [f]orm of [p]u[r]ity than [l]o[c]king a woma[n] i[n] a [k]itche[n] and [e]xpe[c]ting a blowjob [e][v]ery other [e][v]ening, [C][l]oud thought.
Echoes: 274
The intelligible sphere, being purely emanated, participated within itself without mixing itself, while in the sensible sphere it didn’t seem like that was possible, that by participating within sensible things they became essentially mixed with them, assuming they were categorically sensible. Essentially nature was tainted, which of course Cloud and Aerith knew all too well! Way too well! Hence their shared acquiescence toward occasional annihilation! But even this sensible filth, so to speak, Cloud thought, this perceived mixing up in the participation of sensible things, wasn’t it also a projection? - an emanation, just as the participation of the intelligible sphere was also an emanation of the primary unity of all things? Which, yeah, brought Cloud back to that albino round-faced fuck at the bar, taking his wife’s last name - because ultimately the albino’s vantage point wasn’t remarkably divergent from Cloud’s or Aerith’s, Cloud thought. This albino was promoting a certain type of annihilation of their cultural-sensible realm, thinking that the patriarchal lineage of their society was basically something objectionable, something essentially tainted, that should be annihilated in the service of something more pure. Okay, well, Cloud thought that made a modicum of sense! Maybe taking his wife’s last name was in a sense a greater form of purity than locking a woman in a kitchen and expecting a blowjob every other evening, Cloud thought.
Syllables: 392
Quotient: .699
Line 08
Ju[s]t as [P][r]o[c][l]us and [S]o[c][r]a[t]es [s]en[s]ed [th]at [th]e in[t]el[l]igible [s][ph]ere [p]arti[c]i[p]ated w[i]th [i]t[s]el[f] yet not in a [w]ay [w]here it m[i]xed w[i]th [i]t[s]elf, [th]at [th]i[s] was [d]i[s]tinct [f]rom our [f]urther [d]e[s]cen[d]ed, [s]en[s]i[b]le [s][ph]ere where things [p]arti[c]i[p]ated [w]ith [o]ne another [b]ut got [m]ixed u[p] in the [p]ro[c]e[s]s - well, [m]ay[b]e this al[b]i[n][o] [m]an was [n][o]ting [th]at [th]e [p]a[t]riar[c]h[y] was a [p]ar[t][i]c[i][p]a[t]o[r][y] m[i]x[i]ng that [l]eft un[s]eem[l]y [c]um [s]t[ai]ns - [f]or [l]a[c]k of a better [ph]r[a]se! - on hu[m]an ex[p]e[r]ience. [P]at[r]iar[c]hy, in the al[b]i[n]o [m]an’s [m][i]nd, should [b]e a[n]n[i]hilated [b]e[c]ause of this [s]en[s][i][b]le m[i]x[i]ng u[p], this [p]u[t]rid [t][ai]nting of [w]hat [w]ould [b]e [b]etter o[f]f [p]ure. And [t][a][k]ing your [n][i]ce wi[f]e’s [n]ame was a [p][r]o[p]er [m]ode of an[n]ihilation in [r]es[p]onse. Ae[r]ith [r]e[m]ar[k]ed that she knew [C][l]oud would inevita[b][l]y [b][r]ing the dis[c]ou[r]se [b]a[c]k to this [p]oo[r] ch[a][p] [c][l]osing his t[a]b, [b]ut, just to [b]e [c][l]ear, [w]hat [C][l]oud [w]as saying [w]as [th]at [th][i]s m[i]xing [th]at o[c]curred in the [s]en[s]ible [r]ealm was it[s]elf ju[s]t a [s]e[p]a[r]ate [p][r]ojection - ju[s]t a l[e][s]ser mode of [p]roj[e]cting! So [w]hile the [m]a[t]erial [w]orld [m]ay have di[s]gu[s]ted them, [p]erha[p]s [m]oving the [t]wo [t]oward [s]ome [s]ort of [a]ll-en[c]om[p]a[s]sing [c]on[c]e[p]tual [a]nnihilation, [a]nd [a]s [m]uch as the [p]a[t][r]iarchy [m]ight have seemed [p]u[t][r]id to the al[b]ino hus[b]and at the [b]ar who [l]oo[k]ed to an[n]ihi[l]ate him[s]el[f] [b]y ta[k]ing his [n][i][c]e w[i][f]e’s [l]a[s]t [n]ame, it [c]ould be wise to [c]on[s]i[d]er [th]at [th]ese [d]i[s]gu[s]ting a[g]g[r]e[g]ates were them[s]elves [s]im[p]ly [d]e[r][i]vat[i]ve [p]roje[c]tions, [th]at [th]ey weren’t a[c]tual [m]ixtures, [th]at [th]ey were just [d]erivative e[m]anations as o[p]posed [t]o [t]at[t]oos of what [th]ey [th]ought [th]ey [d]e[s][p]ised. Aerith [w]as a[w]are. She wasn’t [d]i[s]tressed a[b]out it, [b]ut she k[n]ew this poor al[b]i[n]o g[uy] would in [t][i]me [t]a[k]e the [b]r[u]nt [o]f it from [C]loud. [C]loud [q]uestioned whether he [d]i[d]n’t [d]eserve it? [P][l]us [l][i]ke they’d al[r]eady im[p][l][i]ed - they [m]u[s]t to [p][r]o[c]eed from the i[m]mane[n]t [t]o the [t]ran[s]cende[n]t, no?
Echoes: 321
Just as Proclus and Socrates sensed that the intelligible sphere participated with itself yet not in a way where it mixed with itself, that this was distinct from our further descended, sensible sphere where things participated with one another but got mixed up in the process - well, maybe this albino man was noting that the patriarchy was a participatory mixing that left unseemly cum stains - for lack of a better phrase! - on human experience. Patriarchy, in the albino man’s mind, should be annihilated because of this sensible mixing up, this putrid tainting of what would be better off pure. And taking your nice wife’s name was a proper mode of annihilation in response. Aerith remarked that she knew Cloud would inevitably bring the discourse back to this poor chap closing his tab, but, just to be clear, what Cloud was saying was that this mixing that occurred in the sensible realm was itself just a separate projection - just a lesser mode of projecting! So while the material world may have disgusted them, perhaps moving the two toward some sort of all-encompassing conceptual annihilation, and as much as the patriarchy might have seemed putrid to the albino husband at the bar who looked to annihilate himself by taking his nice wife’s last name, it could be wise to consider that these disgusting aggregates were themselves simply derivative projections, that they weren’t actual mixtures, that they were just derivative emanations as opposed to tattoos of what they thought they despised. Aerith was aware. She wasn’t distressed about it, but she knew this poor albino guy would in time take the brunt of it from Cloud. Cloud questioned whether he didn’t deserve it? Plus like they’d already implied - they must to proceed from the immanent to the transcendent, no?
Syllables: 462
Quotient: .695
The Number 1.99999 Repeating
Total Echoes: 8,809
Total Syllables: 11,704
Aggregate Echo Quotient: .753 (Meter: >.667)
01--- 614:793 .774
We hadn’t [b]een there n[i]nety [s]e[c]onds, [b]e[c]ause it [w]as r[i]ght as [w]e [w]al[k]ed in the [b][a][ck]yard of the h[i]gh [s][c]hool [g]r[a]du[a]tio[n] [p]arty th[a]t her [c]ousin a[pp]roached u[s] and, wi[th]out [th]e [s]l[i]ghte[s]t hesit[a]tio[n], a[s]ked my [g]irl[f]riend r[i]ght to her [f][a][c]e---D[i]d you br[i]ng my [t]u[p]per[w]are [w][i]th you? It [t]oo[k] [p]erha[p]s longer than I [c]are to [c]on[f]e[s]s to [f]ully [r]e[c]ognize [w]hat exa[c]tl[y] it [w]as sh[e] [w]as [r]e[f]e[r]en[c]ing. Oh, the oxt[ai]l, I [r]e[f][l][e][c]ted, a [s][e][c]ond or [s]o [l][a]ter, as I [r]e[c]alled there [b][e]ing a [b]eauti[f]ul, [w]ood-[c]overed, [p][ie][c]e of gla[s]s of tu[pp]er[w]are [s][i]tt[i]ng [i]n ou[r] [r]e[f]r[i]gerato[r] [f]o[r] ove[r] a [w]ee[k], i[n]cub[a]ti[n]g a[n] oxt[ai]l dish th[a]t h[a]d, u[n][f]ortunate[l][y], [t]o[t]a[l]l[y] ex[p]ired---it was so [f]ar gone I was h[e]si[t]a[n]t [t]o eve[n] o[p]e[n] the [t]o[p] of the [t]u[pp]e[r]wa[r]e [c]on[t]aine[r], [d]es[p]ite the [f]a[c]t the [t]o[p] of the [c]on[t]ainer was a bea[u]ti[f]ul, wood [f][i]n[i]shed [p]iece. There was [n]o [d]oubt in [m][y] [m][i]nd [th]at [th]is oxtail was, [a]t th[a]t [p]oint, [n]ot just [c]om[p]l[e]te[l][y] [e]x[p]ired but [e]ssential[l][y] a ty[p]e of m[ea]t sou[p], a ty[p]e of l[i][q]u[i]fied [c]o[r][p][s]e, wh[i]ch of [c]ou[r][s]e di[s]gu[s]ted m[e] [s]ev[e]rel[y]. [C]l[ea]ning it out [s]t[r]u[ck] m[e] as a g[r]ote[s][q]ue idea. I [c]an't [s]ay for [c]ertain, but it'[s] more [l]i[k]e[l]y [th]an not [th]at I [th][r]ew [i]t [i]n[t]o the [t][r]ash---[t]u[pp]er[w]are, [w]ood [t][o][p], and [o]x[t]ail. '[O]h, [s][o] [s]orry, I'll [d]ef[i]n[i]tely [b]r[i]ng [i]t [b]ack [s]oon!' she [s]aid, [a]nd I gl[a]n[c]ed [a]t her [a]nd a[tt][e]m[p][t]ed [t]o [d][e][c][i][ph]er i[f] she had [a]ny [i][d]ea the [t]u[pp]er[w]are [a]nd the ox[t]ail [w]ere [b]oth l[o]ng g[o]ne, th[a]t [b]oth now [s][a]t in a gar[b]age hea[p], a [p]ile of tr[a]sh [s]omewhere, at the [b]ottom of a [p]u[b]li[c] [d]um[p], [s]t[i][ll] f[i][ll]ed w[i]th [d]e[c]ayed, gro[t]e[s][q]ue ox[t]ail, [a]nd th[a]t her [c]ousin would ne[v]er again [o]wn the [p]r[i][v]i[l][e]ge of [p][l]a[c]ing her [l]e[f]t[o][v]ers in[t]o that [p]ie[c]e of [t]u[pp]er[w]are [w]ith the beauti[f]ul [w]ood [c]o[v]er. That [t]u[p]per[w]are [w]as [f][i]n[i]shed. Having [s]aid that, [e]v[e]n the [f]in[e][s]t [p][ie][c]e of [t]u[pp]erware---how [p][r]ec[i]ous [i]s [i]t [r][ea]ll[y]? [C]ouldn’t we [r]e[p]la[c]e it [f]or [f]ive do[ll]ars or [l]e[ss]? My thin[k]ing at the [t]ime was ye[s], [th]at [th]e [t]u[pp]er[w]are [w]as en[t]irely [f]un[g]ible, yet as [s][oo]n as we [s]te[pp]ed [f]oot int[o] this [h]igh [s]ch[oo]l [g]raduation [p]arty [h]er [c]ousin in[q]uired a[b]out the [t]u[pp]er[w]are---as [i]f th[i]s [t]u[pp]er[w]are [p]erha[p]s [b]elonged to [s]ome [s]ort of rare [s][p]e[c]ies of [t]u[pp]er[w]are, [p]erha[p]s a [s][p][e][c]i[e]s of [t]u[pp]erware on the verge of ex[t][i]nct[i]on, [p]erha[p]s this [w]as [s]ome [k]ind [o]f [o]ne-[o]f-a-[k]ind [t]u[pp]erware I non[ch][a]l[a]ntly [t]o[s]sed in[t]o a [p]ile of [t]ra[sh]. [S]o[m]e [p]eo[p]le h[a]ve [m][a]ssive a[m][ou]nts [o]f re[s][p][e]ct for tu[pp]er[w]are, [b]ut I've n[e]ver [b]een [o]ne of them, It al[w]ays e[l]u[d]ed [m]e [w]hy a[n]yo[n]e [w]ould i[n]vest [m]ore than [o]ne [d]o[ll]ar i[n][t]o a [p]ie[c]e of [t]u[pp]er[w]are, [p]er[s]ona[ll]y. [T]o [m][y] [m][i]nd, if a [p]iece of tu[pp]erware, no [m][a]tter the level of cr[a]fts[m][a]nshi[p], is [p]ri[c]ed ab[o]ve [o]ne dollar, then it'[s] an over[p]ri[c]ed [p]ie[c]e of tu[pp]erware. It'[s] ju[s]t not an [i]tem [I]'ve [p]er[s]onally e[v]er [v]iewed [a]s [a]n in[v]e[s]tment of [a]ny kind. In [m][y] [m][i]nd, [p][l]ates and bowls are re[l]ati[v]e[l]y [w]orth[w]hile in[v]est[m]ents, [w]hile tu[pp]er[w]are is e[ss]entia[ll]y a [c]a[p]ita[l]i[s]t [p][l]oy to in[c]rea[s]e the [p]rofit margin on [p][l][a][s]ti[c] [b][a]gs---to [c]on[v]in[c]e [p]eo[p]le they shouldn’t [o]n[l]y [i][n][v]e[s]t [i][n] [p][l]ates and b[o]wls, [b]ut al[s]o [i][n]ve[s]t [i][n] the highe[s]t [q]ua[l]ity [p][l][a][s]tic [b][a]gs ([t]u[p]perware), [th]at in [th]eory [th]ey’ll use [a]g[ai]n and [a]g[ai]n, [b]ut [i][n] [p]ra[c]ti[c]e they’ll [l]ose [i][n][c]e[ss]ant[l][y] and [c]on[s]tant[l][y] have to re[p][l]a[c]e.
02--- 696:817 .852
‘She’s n[e]v[e]r g[e]tting that [t]upp[e]rware b[a]ck,’ I [s]aid. ‘Y[ou] th[r][ew] it in the [t][r][a]sh?’ she [s]aid. ‘You g[a]ve the o[k][ay]?’ I [s][ai][[d], to which [sh]e [sh]oo[k] [h]er [h][ea][d], [c][l]ear[l][y] [m]i[s][r]e[m][e]mb[e]ring the [p][l][e]tho[r]a of [t]imes [w][e]'ve thrown out [t]u[pp]er[w]are in the [p]a[s]t, the [c]oun[t][l]e[s]s [t][i]mes [I]’ve [s][ee]n a [p][ie][c]e of [w]ell-[w]orn [t]u[pp]er[w]are [t]a[k]ing u[p] [s][p]a[c]e [i]n our [r]e[f]r[i]ge[r]ator, a[s]ked her i[f] I [c]ould th[r]ow [s]aid [t]u[pp]er[w]are out, [r]e[c]eived a[pp][r]oval to th[r]ow [s]aid [t]u[pp]er[w]are [ou]t, and th[r]own [ou]t [s]aid [t]u[pp]er[w]are. It’s n[o]t a [p]r[o][b]lem, I [s]aid, we can [p][r][o][b]a[b]ly ju[s]t [b]uy her a [r]e[p]la[c]e[m]ent or [s]o[m]ething. Sh[e] ag[r][ee]d [b]ut [s][ee]med du[b][i]ou[s], and I [f]elt the [s]ame, I [f]ound [m]y[s]el[f] a[g][r]eeing with [b][o]th [m]y[s]el[f] and [m]y [g]irl[f][r]iend, [d]e[s][p]ite the [f]a[c]t we had [d]ia[m]e[t][r]i[c]ally o[pp][o]sed views on this [t]u[pp]erware. My [g]irl[f][r]ie[n]d a[n]d I di[s][a][g][r][ee]d on our [a][b]i[l]it[y] to re[p][l]a[c]e this tu[pp]er[w]are, and I [a][g]r[ee]d [w]ith [b]oth of u[s]. I [s]at i[n] a [l]awn chair a [s]e[c]o[n]d or [s]o [l]ater, drin[k]ing a g[l]a[ss] of [S]oju, [e]x[p][l]i[c]it[l]y [a][t]tem[p][t]ing [t]o [a]void a[n][y] u[n]ne[c]e[ss]a[r][y] i[n]te[r][a][c][ti]on [a]t thi[s] [h]igh [s]chool g[r]adua[ti]on until [I]'d im[b][i]bed at [l]ea[s]t [h]alf this [b]ottle of [S]oju, doubt[i]ng my [a][b][i][l][i]t[y] to [c]ome off [a][pp]ro[p]riate[l][y] [c]ordi[al] in a [s]oci[al] [s]etting [s]an[s] a [m][i]n[i][m][u]m [o]f half [o]f [a] [b][o]ttle [o]f thi[s] [S]oj[u] [r][u]th[l]e[ss][l]y [p]er[c]o[l]ating thr[ou]gh my [b][l]ood[s]t[r]eam. I [s]at there, [c]on[t]em[p][l][a]ting h[i]gh [s][c]hool [g]radu[a]tions, [c]on[t]em[p]l[a]ting my own h[i]gh [s][c]hool [g][r]adu[a]tion, [r]e[c]allin[g] nothin[g] of m[y] h[i]gh [s][c]hool [g][r]adu[a]t[i]on, [c]ontem[p]l[a]t[i]ng the [p]erv[a][s][i]ve [i]di[o][c]y of or[g]anized edu[c][a]t[i]on, [c]on[s]idering how more or l[e]ss [e]ver[y] u[n][i][q]ue thin[k]er---from [S]o[c]r[a][t]es [s][t]oned by the [A]the[n]ians to Giorda[n][o] [B]ru[n][o] [b]urnt a[l][i]ve [b][y] the [C]atho[l]i[c] [ch]ur[ch] to [N]ietzs[ch][e] un[r][ea]d a[n]d i[n] a[n] i[n][s]ane a[s]y[l]um as he [r][o]tted [a]way---y[e]s, [e]ve[r][y] un[i][q]ue thin[k]e[r] ove[r] the [c]our[s]e of [h]uman [h]i[s]to[r][y] was either inten[s]e[l][y] o[s]t[r]a[c]ized or [s]impl[y] a[ss]a[ss]in[a]ted by the [s]y[s]temati[c] edu[c][a]tors of [h]is or [h]er d[a]y. In short, I was vo[c][i][f]er[ou]sly dr[i]n[k][i]ng th[i][s] gla[ss] of [S]oju when [I] thought to m[y][s]el[f]---[I]sn’t [i]t po[ss][i]ble [th]at we [th]ink of [th]e [th]eo[l][o]g[i][c]al [ph][i][l]o[s][o][ph]ers as the [c]o[n][s]ervatives, as the ones [r]e[s]t[r]ained by thi[s] [s]o-[c]alled [c]o[n][c]eption of God, yet it’[s] a[c]tually the [c]a[s]e [th]at [th]e [th]eo[l][o]g[i][c]al [ph][i][l][o]so[ph]ers, over the [c]our[s]e of [h]u[m]an [h]i[s]tory, are the [m]o[s]t au[d]acious, the [b]ol[d]est [ph]iloso[ph]ers we [h]ave and [h]a[v]e e[v]er [h]ad? How [e][l]se can we [e]xp[l]ain [B]er[k]e[l]ey, I thought---[ea]sil[y] the [m]ost ra[d]i[c]al s[k][e][p]t[i][c] the [m]o[d]ern W[e]st h[a]s [p][r]odu[c]ed, yet al[s]o a [C]atholi[c] [p][r]ie[s]t? [D]iony[s]iu[s], for ex[a]m[p]le, was [a]ctually [q]uite v[i]gor[ou][s] [i]n h[i]s [s][k]e[p]ti[c]i[s]m of our [a]b[i]l[i]t[y] to k[n]ow a[n][y]thing, his [c]ir[c]um[l]o[c]utions were [a][c]tua[ll]y [q]uite r[a]di[c]al. [W]hereas our typi[c]al [s]e[c]ular athei[s]t [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]er, [w]hile [a]ssured of our [a]b[i][l][i]ty to k[n][o]w the[r]e a[r]e [n][o] Gods, is rather neutered [i]n h[i]s [ph][i][l]o[s]o[ph][i][c]al [s][p]e[c]u[l]ations [i][f] the [f][a]ct th[a]t God [d]oesn’t ex[i]st [i]s le[f]t to the si[d]e. [I]sn't [i]t [p]o[ss][i]ble [th]at [th]e [s][o]-[c]alled theo[l][o]g[i][c]al [ph][i][l][o][s]o[ph]ers are the m[o][s]t [a]udacious [a]mong [u]s? The [o]nes who are [w]illing [t]o [t]a[k]e the [p]ro[p]er[l]y [r]a[d]i[c]al [l][ea][p]s ne[c]e[ss]a[r]y [w]hen [d][ea][l]ing [w][i]th meta[ph][y]s[i][c]s, I thought [w]hile vo[c][i][f]er[ou][s][l][y] dr[i]n[k][i]ng th[i]s bottle of [S]oju, un[w]i[ll]ing to [s][p]ea[k] to [a]nyone [a]t this high [s][c]hool gradu[a]t[i]on un[t]il I had [th]orough[l]y [c]on[t]em[p][l][a]t[e]d the [t]rue n[a]ture of [th]e [th]eo[l][o]g[i][c]al [ph][i][l][o]so[ph]er.
03--- 889:1181 .753
"How [e]lse can we [e]xplain [K]i[e]r[k][e]gaard? The [s]e[c]u[l]ar [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]ers tal[k] our ears [o][ff] a[n]d [m]ore [o][f]ten than [n][o]t [s]ay [n]othing [b]ey[o]nd what [th]eir [th]e[s]is a[d]visors [d]e[m]and [t]o [b]e [p][r]in[t]ed, I thought, vo[c][i]fero[u][s]ly d[r][i]nk[i]ng th[i][s] bottle of [S]oju, while [th]e a[p]ex of [th]e [th]eo[l][o]g[i][c]al [ph][i][l][o][s]o[ph]er tru[l]y e[n][a][c]t[s] the [n]otion of [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]izing with a h[a]mmer? Y[e]t, in ou[r] [e][r]a, it [s][ee]ms w[e] more or [l]e[ss] di[s]mi[ss] all [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]ers wh[o] ch[oo]se t[o] be[l][ie]ve in God, I thought. [I]s [i]t then po[ss]ible, [I] thought, dr[i]nk[i]ng m[y] [S]oju, vo[c][i]fero[u]sly, that [b]e[c]ause [th]e [th]eo[l][o]g[i][c]al [ph][i][l][o][s]o[ph]ers have [b]een e[ss]en[ti]a[l]l[y] [sh]unned from the [m]o[d]ern a[c]a[d]e[m][y], that the [m]ere [m]en[ti]on of God is [a]n[a]the[m]a to the [m]o[d]ern [a]c[a][d]e[m]y, that [b]e[c]ause [th]e [th]eol[o]g[i][c]al [ph][i]l[o]so[ph]er [h]as [b]een [h]o[l][i][s]t[i][c]a[l]ly [b]anned from parta[k]ing in the [m]o[d]ern [s]o-[c]alled a[c]a[d]e[m]y, our [m]o[d]ern organized e[d]ucators, [th]at [th]ey’ve [th]erefore [m]a[n]aged to [m]a[n]eu[v]er out[s][i]de of the [s]t[i]fling bu[r]eauc[r]a[c][y] of the uni[v]er[s]it[y]---[a]nd [a][c]tuall[y] engaged with o[r][i]g[i]nal thought? Should we [c]on[s][i]der that po[ss][i]ble? [Th]at [th]ey [e][c]ho [e]ar[l][y] [C]h[r]istia[n] [th]eo[l]ogia[n]s, [p]erse[c]uted by [p]aga[n] [R]oma[n] autho[r]iti[e]s, who [c][r]e[a]t[e]d e[l]aborate [f][r]amewor[k][s] that [f]ormed the [s]ui gene[r]i[s] [m]eta[ph][y]s[i][c]al [f]ound[a]ti[o]n of early Ch[r]istian thought, a [s]ui ge[n]eri[s] [s]ynthe[s]i[s] of the [c]a][n][o][n]i[c]al G[o][s][p]els with [N]eo[p][l]at[o]ni[c] [th][ou]ght, [th]at [o]ur [m]o[d]ern [th]eo[l]ogia[n]s, [a]l[m]ost [r]egardless of de[n]o[m]i[n]atio[n], [p][r]o[s]e[c]uted [b]y the athei[s]t univer[s]ity [b]u[r]eau[c][r]ats, are [w]ork[i]ng [w][i]th[i]n [p]erh[a][p][s] [s][i]m[i][l]ar[l]y [r][a]di[c]al [f]r[a]me[w]or[k][s]? [A][f]ter all, [s]e[c]u[l]ar [a][c]ademi[c] [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]ers are [l]oath to [s]p[e][c]u[l]ate on m[u]ch [o]f [a]nything in ou[r] [e][r]a. In their [p][l]a[c]e we have theoret[i][c]al [ph][y]s[i][c][i][s]ts who em[p][l]oy [c]om[p][l]ex [m]athe[m]ati[c]s to [p]rove the [s]u[s]ce[p]tib[i][l][i]ty of [c]om[p][l]ex [m]athe[m]atics to al[m]ost an[y] ty[p]e of [s]o[ph][i]str[y]. [F][r]an[k]l[y], I’[v]e n[e][v]er [r]es[p][e][c]ted [m]athe[m]ati[ci]ans, I [sh]ould ad[m]it that [m][u]ch [u][p][f][r]ont. I [s]u[p]p[o]se, in my [o]wn [w][a]y, I've al[w][a]ys viewed [m]athe[m]ati[ci]ans as e[s]sen[ti]a[ll]y [ch]ar[l]atans. I view the art of [m]athe[m]ati[c]s as [n]ot only [d]e[c]a[d]ent, but I al[s]o view the [c]on[c]ept of [n]umber as a[n] e[ss]e[n]tia[ll]y [m]eta[ph][y]s[i][c]al [d]o[m]ain. The [m]athe[m]at[i]c[i]an’s [f]or[m]ulas [a]re [a]lways de[r][i]vat[i]ve of the nu[m]e[r]i[c]al axio[m]s of [m]eta[ph]ysi[c]s---it's always [s]t[r]u[c]k me as e[n]tirely [p]o[ss]i[b]le that [n]um[b]ers are an [i]m[p]o[ss]i[b]ility. [Th]at [th]e [i]ntro[d]u[c]ti[o]n [o]f the [d]ecimal [p]oint, of the fra[c]ti[o]n, e[ss]entia[l]ly [s][a]n[k] [m]athe[m][a]ti[c]s right [i]n [i]ts [p]la[c]e, in m[y] e[y]es at [l]ea[s]t. Of [c]ourse, I’m at [b]ottom a [d]i[s]ci[p]le of [P]a[l]amas, for [c]e[r]tai[n], I was ina[d]ve[r]te[n]t[l]y [b]a[p]tized as a [d]i[s]ci[p]le of [P]a[l]a[m]as, of [c]our[s]e, I [f]un[d]a[m]entally [d]i[s]agree w[i]th th[i][s] [m]o[d]ern i[d]ea th[a]t we [c][a]n [c]om[p]reh[e]nd [e]verything in a [p]ure[l]y inte[ll]e[c]tual [f]ashion, [th]is [n][o]tion [th]at [th]ere’s, [i]n pra[c]t[i]ce, [n][o] [l][i][m][i]t to the hu[m]an [i]nte[l]le[c]t. I f[i]nd that [i]dea to be [o]ne [o]f the mo[s]t [a][b][s]o[l]ute[l]y [a][b][s]urd. Sure, of [c]our[s]e, we [c]an r[ea][d], [s]ay, [P]arme[n][i][d]es and, while [i]t’s [i]m[p]re[ss]ive, it’s [a]lso entirel[y] [a]b[s]urd, and I [p]er[s]o[n]a[ll][y] enjoy [i]t [i][mm][e]nse[l][y], [b]ut on those [m][e]rits. [I]’m not sure [I]’d [b]a[s]e my [s]c[i]ent[i]f[i]c thought on it. I'm at [l]ea[s]t [l]e[ss] than [c]ertain it’d [b]e[c]ome the [c]orner[s]tone of my [s][e][c]u[l]ar inte[ll][e][c]tual [p]ur[s]uits. [P]armen[i]d[e]s is one of the [p]e[r][f]e[c]t wo[r][k]s of ab[s]u[r]d[i][s]t [f][i][c]t[i]on wr[i]tt[e]n [i]n any lang[u]age---and if w[e] [i]nd[ee]d ma[d]e it a [c]or[n]er[s]tone of our [s][e][c]u[l]ar i[n]te[ll][e][c]tual pur[s]uits, then at [l][ea]st w[e]’[d] [n][ee][d] to [r]e[c]ogn[i]ze our ab[s]ur[d][i]st or[i]g[i]ns, as [D]io[n]y[s]ius [r][i]ghtfull[y] [d]oes. Y[e]t we’ve [e]m[p]loyed [P]ar[m]e[n][i]d[e]s for [c]entur[ie]s as a funda[m]e[n]tal co[mm]e[n]tar[y] on a[ll][e]g[e]d[l][y] ra[ti]o[n]a[l]i[s]t [n]o[ti]ons. A[ll][e]g[e]dly ra[ti]o[n]a[l]ist [n]o[ti]ons---[i]s th[i]s not [w]hat [w]e find our[s]elves [s]teeped in, mo[r]e o[r] le[s]s [n]ight and [d]ay? When I [c]o[mm]ent on [m]eta[ph][y]s[i][c]s I [d]o [s]o in a [c]ons[ci]ously ab[s]urd [f]a[sh]ion, be[c]ause I re[c]ognize the [l][i][m][i]ts of [l]anguage, the [l][i][m][i]ts of [l]anguage th[a]t [a]t [b]ottom are in[c][a]pa[b]le of [c]o[m]muni[c][a]ting [m]eta[ph]ysi[c]s i[n] li[n]ear [a]nd/or r[a][ti]o[n]al [f][a][sh]io[n]s. It [s]ee[m]s [s]o[m]ewhat obv[i]ou[s] [th]at [th]ere's a ne[f]a[r][i]ou[s] [l]ite[r]a[l]ism at pl[a]y here, I th[i]n[k] [i]t’s [s][a][f]e to [s][ay] that. Ever [s]in[c]e grade [s][c]hool I was [p]os[i]t[i]ve that I [s]tood in the [p][r]esen[c]e of a nefa[r]io[u][s] [l][i]tera[l][i]sm. Even as a young [b]oy, [i]nst[i]n[c]t[i]ve[l][y], I k[n]ew [n]um[b]ers were, in all [l]i[k]e[l]ihood, im[p]o[s]s[i][b][i][l][i]t[ie]s, and th[a]t my [s]y[s]tem[a]ti[c] edu[c]ation was high[l][y] [s]u[s]ce[p][t]ib[l]e to, i[f] [n]ot e[n][t]ire[l][y] [c]om[p][l]i[c]it i[n], a [n]e[f]a[r]ious [l]ite[r]a[l]ism. The [e]du[c][a][ti]on of my youth [d]i[d]n’t [e]xa[c]tly [e]n[c]ourage aud[a][ci]ous thought.
04--- 805:1077 .747
I[n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e, we [c]an’t [c]om[p]ose [m]etaph[y]s[i][c]s i[n] a rational [s]en[s]e, [c]an [w][e]? [I]sn’t [i]t al[w]ays in a bet[w][e]en-the-lines [s]en[s]e that [w]e [c]om[p]ose [m]eta[ph][y]s[i][c]s, [i]n [w][i]n[k]s and nods that we write [m]eta[ph][y]s[i]cs, be[c]ause we [c]an’t w[r]ite [m]eta[ph]ysi[c]s [i]n a l[i]near [a]nd/or [r][a][ti]o[n]al [f][a][sh]io[n]? We [t][a]ke [f]ar [t]oo much at [f][a]ce value. Our [l][i]te[r]a[l][i]sm [i]s [i]ntentio[n]a[ll][y] or un[i]ntentio[n]a[ll][y] [n]e[f]a[r]iou[s]. [B]e[c]ause the rea[l]it[y] is [n]ear[l][y] [n]othing [c]an [b]e t[a][k]en at f[a][c]e va[l]ue. [D]o you r[ea][l]ly [b]e[l][ie]ve the gr[ea]test minds of An[t][i][q]u[i]ty [i]n[t]en[d]ed [t]o [b]e [t][a][k]en at f[a]ce value? The [B][y]z[a]ntines [r]ead [P]l[a]to the [s][a]me [w][ay] [w]e [r][ea]d Do[s]toyev[s]k[y], [w]hereas [w][e] r[e]ad [P]l[a]to the [s][a]me [w][ay] the B[y]z[a]nt[i]nes r[ea]d the Go[s][p]els. [P]erha[p]s [b]oth are a[b]su[r]d. Now, su[r]e, I’m with[ou][t] a [d][ou]b[t], from a [c]ertain vantage [p]oint at lea[s]t, a [d]i[s]ci[p]le of [P]alama[s], I won't a[t]t[e]m[p]t to d[e]n[y] that, but we [c]an’t [t]a[k]e eve[r]ything [P]a[l]amas [p]ut to [p]a[p][y][r]u[s] at fa[c]e va[l]ue either. Although [P]ala[m]a[s] under[s]tood the short[c]o[m]ings of Ant[i][q]u[i]t[y] better than [e]ven the [m]o[s]t [p]rogre[ss]ive [m]odern [s][c]holar, I’d [b]e the la[s]t one to [s][ay] I t[a][k]e every[th]ing [th]e [s][ai]nt wrote at [f][a][c]e va[l]ue, be[c]ause I’m [f]ar [f][r]om a [l]ite[r]a[l]i[s]t. The m[o]de[r]n [s][c]h[o]la[r], in[s][o][f]ar as [h]e [k]eeps [h]is [f]aith i[n] ratio[n]a[l]ism, will m[o][s]t [l]i[k]e[l]y [n]eve[r] [c]ome [t]o [t]e[r]ms with the [n][a]tu[r]e of An[t][i][q]u[i]t[y]---is that fair to s[a]y? H[e]’ll r[ea]d Parmen[i]d[e]s and ta[k]e eve[r]ything [l]ite[r]a[ll][y], a[n]d i[n] ta[k]in[g] eve[r]ythin[g] [l]ite[r]a[ll][y] he'[ll] [i]nev[i]tab[l][y] ta[k]e everything [i]d[i]ot[i][c]a[l]l[y]. [I]sn’t [i]t the [c][a][s]e [th]at [th]e [th]eologians are the gr[ea]te[s]t [s][k]e[p]ti[c]s am[o]ng [u]s? We view [f][ai]th as [p]oison as we [r]et[ai]n [f]anatical levels of [f][ai]th in ou[r] [s]en[s]o[r]y o[r]ga[n]s. We [p]e[r]use a [v]a[r]iety of em[p]i[r]i[c]al [s]tudies that [v]i[v]i[s]e[c]t the [g]rote[s][q]ue fi[c]tions of ou[r] [s]en[s]o[r]y o[r][g]ans---did you k[n]ow it’[s] [n]ow [s]pe[c]u[l]ated human [b][e]ings didn’t s[ee] the [c]o[l]or [b][l]ue until the [l]atter [B][C] [c]enturie[s] at ear[l]ie[s]t? [A]ll [a][r]ound u[s] ou[r] [s]en[s]o[r]y o[r]gans [e]xcrete [e]viden[c]e of their [u]tter [u]n[r]e[l]iab[i][l][i]ty, yet we view [f][ai]th as idiocy while [r]et[ai][n][i]ng th[i]s [f]a[n]at[i]c[a]l [n]otio[n] that ou[r] [s]en[s]o[r]y o[r]ga[n]s can and should and m[u][s]t be tr[u][s]ted---[w]h[i]ch [i]s [w]hy [w]e're [n]ot [q]uite [r]adi[c]al e[n]ough. The [m]o[d]ern [a]ge [r]et[ai]ns [r]a[d]i[c]al [f][ai]th [i]n [i]ts [s]en[s]ory o[r]gans in a [m]o[r]e [f]an[a]ti[c]a[l] [f][a]shion tha[n] a[n]y hi[s]to[r][i][c]al [r]el[i]g[i]on k[n]own to man. [N]othing [c]an [b]e t[a][k]en [a]t [f][a]ce v[a]lue, th[a]t [m]uch we should ag[r][ee] on, wh[i]ch [b][r][i]ngs [m][e] to this, a t[r]ue [f]ly i[n] the oint[m]e[n]t, [s]o to [s]p[ea]k---how [i]s [i]t you [a]rrive at [a] po[s]tulation of a[n] e[ss]e[n][c]e you ca[nn]ot k[n]ow? Th[i]s [i]s the question, [i]s [i]t [n]ot? How [d]oes the [m]athe[m]a[t]i[ci]an reach the po[s]tula[ti]on num[b]ers are [a][c]tual [a]nd [d]i[s][t]in[c]t? [H]ow is it [p]o[s]s[i][b]le, g[i]ven [h]uman ca[p]a[b][i]l[i]ties, to [d][i][s]t[i]nguish the [n]um[b]er two fro[m] the [n]u[m]ber one [p]oint [n]ine [r]e[p]eati[n]g (1.9999999…) i[n] [p][r]acti[c]e? How [i]s [i]t [p]o[ss][i]ble to d[i][s][t][i]nguish [t]wo from one [p]oint nine re[p]eating? How does [m]ath[e][m]ati[c]s a[t]t[e]mpt [t]o [l][a]y any [c][l][ai]m to ph[y]s[i][c]al [s][p][a][c]e---[t]o [a]ttem[p]t to [c][l]aim the [a]bi[l]it[y] to [l][ea]ve [th]e [th]eor[e]ti[c]al---when [i]t's [i]m[p]o[s]s[i]ble for u[s] to d[i][s]t[i]nguish the [n]umber two fro[m] the [n]umber one [p]oint [n]ine [r]e[p]eati[n]g (1.9999999999999999999999...), i[n] [p]racti[c]e? It [s]eems im[p]o[ss]i[b]le [f]or u[s] to k[n]ow [th]at [th]e [n]um[b]er [t]wo [i]s [i]n [f]act the [n]um[b]er [t]wo, and [n]ot the [n]umber [o]ne [p]oint [n]ine re[p]eating (1.9999999999999999…), and i[f] [w]e're u[n]a[b]le to k[n]ow the [n]um[b]er [t]wo [i]s [i]n [f]act the [n]um[b]er [t]wo then how [c]ould it [b]e [p]o[ss]i[b]le to a[ss]ert th[a]t [m][a]the[m][a]ti[c]s h[a]s any va[l]ue out[s]ide of [th]e [p]ure[l]y [th]eoreti[c]al? [B]y in[s]tinct [p]erha[p]s we feel as [th]ough [th]e [n]um[b]er [t]wo is the [n]um[b]er [t]wo, and the [n]um[b]er [o]ne is the [n]um[b]er [o]ne, yes, the [m][a]the[m][a]ti[c]al [a]xioms [m]ay [f]eel [c]orre[c]t---y[e]t the [f][a][c]t re[m]ains that we l[a][ck] the [p]er[c]e[p]tual [f]a[c]ulties to d[i][s][t][i]nguish [t]wo a[pp]les fr[o]m [o]ne [p]oint nine re[p]eating (1.99999999999…) a[pp]les. [W]hen [w]e [s][p]eak of the [E][ss]en[c]e of all things we [d]on’t [s][p]eak an[y] [d]ifferent[l][y]---with the [e]x[c]e[p]tion that our [ph]i[l]o[s]o[ph]y of a[n] u[n]k[n]owa[b]le E[ss]en[c]e [s]ee[k]s to [p]ut a [s]tr[i][c]t l[i]m[i]t on k[n]owledge [b]a[s]ed on [i]n[s]tin[c]t[i]ve a[ss]um[p]t[i]ons, whereas the [ph]ilo[s]o[ph]y of [m]athe[m]atic[s] a[t]t[e]m[p]t[s] [t]o ind[e]f[i]n[i]tely [e]x[p]and our k[n]owledge ba[s]ed on [n]othing more tha[n] a[n] i[n][s]t[i]nct[i]ve a[s]sum[p]t[i]on, the in[s]t[i][n][c]t[i]ve a[ss]umpt[i]on that we [c]an [s]u[cc]e[ss]fully di[s]ti[n]gu[i]sh two a[pp]les fr[o]m [o]ne [p]oint nine re[p]eating (1.999999999999…) a[pp]les.
05--- 363:468 .776
There’s no doubt that we’re [i]n the [m][i]d[s]t of [s]omething e[ss]ent[i]a[l]ly [m][y][s]teriou[s], that [w]hen [w]e di[s][c]u[ss] the e[ss]en[c]e of [l]ife [w]e thin[k] [w]e [c]an [m]a[k]e [s]en[s]e [o]f it [a]ll, that we’re on the [p]re[c]i[p]i[c]e of [m]a[k]ing [s]en[s]e of [o]ur[s]elves and [o]ur [s]u[r]roundings, yet there’s [s]t[i]ll [l][i]ttle doubt w[e] [r]e[m]ain [i]n the [m][i]dst of [s]omething e[ss]ent[i]a[l]ly [m][y][s]te[r]iou[s] [w]hen [w]e beg[i]n to th[i]n[k] [c][l]ear[l]y. Th[i]n[k][i]ng [i]s [p]erha[p]s the [m]o[s]t [m]y[s]te[r]ious a[c]t [o]f [a]ll. Th[i]nk[i]ng, [w]h[i]ch [w][e] gene[r]al[l][y] be[l][ie]ve trans[l]ates [m]ate[r]ial and i[mm]ate[r]ial exp[e][r]ien[c]e i[n]to [l]anguage---i[n]to [m]odes that are [c]o[mm]uni[c]able. [Th][i]n[k][i]ng, wh[i]ch a[tt]em[p]ts [t]o [t]a[k]e [s]ome[th]ing [s]uch as [c]on[s][u]ming a j[ui][c]y [p]ear, an ex[p]erien[c]e that ult[i][m][a]tely [i]s [c]on[f]ined to [p]er[s]onal [e]x[p]e[r]ien[c]e, and [e]xt[r]a[p]olate [i]t [i]n a [c]o[m]mun[i][c][a]ble [f]ormat to the gene[r]al [p]o[p]ula[c]e. [S]ans thin[k]in[g], [c]o[n][s][u]min[g] a j[ui][c]y [p]ear would be [s]omething [c]o[n][f]ined to the [p]rivate [s][ph]ere---w[i]th th[i]n[k][i]ng [i]t’[s] then [p]resuma[b][l]y a[ll]owed to enter the [p]u[b][l]i[c] [d]o[m]ain. [Th]ere [i]s, [i]n fa[c]t, no re[m][ai][n]ing [p]u[b]li[c] [d]o[m][ai][n] sans [th]in[k]ing---and [th]ere's i[n] e[ss]e[n][c]e n[o] thin[k]ing [s]ans a [p]u[b]li[c] [d][o]main. A[ss][u][m]ing [w]e [c]on[s][u][m]e a j[ui][c]y [p]ear, thin[k]ing [W]ow, this [p]ear is j[ui][c]y, [b]ut [r]ef[u]se t[o] w[r]ite it down, to ver[b]ally ex[p][r]e[s]s it to our [p]ee[r]s, [th]en [th]e [th]ought Wow, th[i]s [p]ea[r] [i]s jui[c]y [r]e[m]ains in the [p]urely i[mm]aterial [r]eal[m], [i]t’[s] ex[i][s]ten[c]e [p]ure[l]y [s][p]e[c]u[l]ative, both [th]e [th]ought and the physi[c]al [e]x[p]e[r]ien[c]e [r]e[m]ain [e][ss]entia[l]l[y] [p]ure[l][y] [s][p]e[c]u[l]ative. It’[s] on[l][y] [w]hen [th]e [th]ought [W]ow, th[i]s [p]ear [i]s jui[c][y] enters the [p]u[b]li[c] do[m]ain that it [b]e[c]omes, [p]erha[p]s not real, [b]ut [a]t lea[s]t [a][pp]are[n]t i[n] a [m]ore [m]ate[r]ial [m]anner---it’[s] [v]e[r]i[f]ied as a [r]eal ex[p]erien[c]e and [s]ub[s][e]qu[e]ntly [v]e[r]i[f]ied as a [r]eal thought. I t[oo] [c]on[s][u]med a [p]ear, and [w]ow it [w]as al[s][o] [q]uite jui[c]y! There’s n[o] doubt we’re [i]n the [m][i]d[s]t of [s]ometh[i]ng e[ss]ent[i]ally [m][y][s]teriou[s] here.
06--- 546:775 .705
It was just [a] [f]ew [m]onths [a][g][o], I dreamt a[n] [o]lder [f]e[m][a]le e[n][g][a]ged [m]e i[n] a [l]i[a]ison, [p]erha[p]s a [s]exual [l]i[a]ison---at fir[s]t she [w]as an [o]l[d]er [b]la[ck] [w]o[m]an, [b]ut then she [b]e[c]ame an [o]l[d]er [w]hite [w]o[m]an, [a]nd, [a]s she [w]as [w]hite, [a]s [w]e s[a]t i[n] a[n] auto[m]o[b]ile, I en[t]ered a ho[t]el room [t]o pay [n][i]ne[t]y [t]wo dollars [f]or our [r]oom [f]or the [n][i]ght, then I [r]e[t]urned [t]o the [c]ar. I [w]as [w]earing a [b]us[i]n[e][s]s [s]uit and she [w]ore [b]us[i]n[e][s]s [c]asu[a]l [a][t]tire, there were [t]wo [s]mall [d]ar[k], in[d]e[c]i[ph]era[b]le [f]orms [s][i]tt[i]ng [i]n the [b]a[ck][s]eat, and [sh]e t[o]ld me [sh]e had to g[o] [s]outh of the [M]issou[r]i now, and [I] [r]e[p]l[i]ed You [m]ean [s]outh of the [M]i[ss]i[ss]i[pp]i, [r]ight?---yet, even [s]etting a[s]ide our geo[g]raphi[c]al [c]on[c]e[r]ns, he[r] [s][t]atement [s][t]ru[c]k me as [s]omething I already k[n]ew, [th]at I k[n]ew sh[e] was [l][ea]ving for [g]ood, and [th]at her [l][ea]ving would [m]a[r][k] a [n]ew [s]ta[r]t for [m][e], [s]o to [s][p][ea][k]. [W]hen I [w][o][k]e u[p] I [f]elt as th[ou]gh, i[n] a[n] i[n]te[n]sely odd and [i]m[p]al[p]able way, my [e]nt[i]re l[i][f]e had [f]ollowed the [p]ath of Ea[s]tern Orthodoxy---in a [p]ro[f]ound manner I [f]elt this, I [w]as [w]i[d]e a[w][a][k]e in be[d], g[a]zing at a [w]all thin[k]ing m[y] ent[i]re l[i][f]e has [s]omehow [t]ra[ck]ed the [t]enets of the [E]a[s]tern Ortho[d]ox, [th]at [th]is [d]r[ea]m was [e][q]uall[y] [c]or[p]o[r]eal to any wa[k]ing ex[p]e[r]ien[c]e I’ve h[a]d, [a]nd now, [m]onths later, [I] [r]e[m][ai]n [c]u[r]iou[s] with [r]egar[d] to the [i][d]entity of this [m]ulti-[r][a]cial [f]igure [f][r]om [m]y [d][r][ea]m, who it [s][ee][m]s eng[a]ged [m][e] in a [s]exual li[a]ison? De[s]pite affir[m]ing the [m][y][s]teriou[s] nature of [w]hat [w]e're [i]n the [m][i]d[s]t of, I've never [b]een a [b]el[ie]ver in a[n]gels a[n]d d[e]mons, [s]o to [s]p[ea]k---yet this [f]igure [f]rom [m]y dr[ea][m], it s[ee][m]s to [m][e], shared [m]any [c]hara[c]te[r][i]st[i][c]s w[i]th h[i]stor[i][c]al [r]epo[r]t[s] of [s]o-[c]alled angels and de[m]ons. Of cou[r][s]e, a[ss][u][m]ing it’[s] [o]ne [o]f the [t]wo, [w]hich [o]ne of the [t]wo [i]s [i]t? A[n] a[n]gel or a [d]emon? Who were the [d]ar[k], near[l]y [f]orm[l]es[s] [f]igures in the [b]a[ck][s]eat of the [c]ar? A per[s]o[n] e[n]g[a]ges me in a [s]exual [l]i[a]ison, [b]ut at [f]ir[s]t is [b][l]a[ck], [b]ut then [b]e[c]omes white, then tells [m]e she now has to g[o] [q]u[o]te-un[q]u[o]te south of the [M]issou[r]i, I [c]o[rr]e[c]t her, and then I [w]a[k]e up [w]ith a[n] i[n][t]e[n][s]e [f]ee[l]ing my [l]i[f]e’s [s]omehow [f]o[ll]owed the [t]e[n]ets of Ea[s]tern Or[th]odoxy---[th]en, [th]i[s] dr[ea]m's in[t]en[s]it[y] [s][t]i[ck]ing [w]ith m[e] for [w][ee][k]s and [e]ve[n] [m]onths on e[n]d, I [q]uestio[n] i[f] the [f]igure [f][r]om [m]y d[r][e]am was [p]erha[p]s a b[e]i[n]g of [s]ome [m]eta[ph][y]s[i]cal [s]ort, [p]erha[p]s a[n] a[n]gel or [p]erha[p]s a de[m]on. I [q]u[e][s]tion wh[e]ther [p]erha[p]s a[n] a[n]gel or [p]erha[p]s a [d][e]mon en[t]ered my [d]r[ea]m to, in a [q]uite [s]er[p]en[t][i]ne way, [p]oint [m]e i[n] the [d]irectio[n] of [s]o[m]e[th]ing---[p]erha[p]s Ea[s]tern Or[th]o[d]oxy. And I [q]uestion [i][f] th[i]s [i]s [i]n [f]a[c]t [p]o[s]s[i]ble. [A]t almo[s]t [a]ny other [t][i]me in m[y] l[i]fe I would have [c]on[s][i][d]ered [i]t an [i]m[p]o[ss][i][b][i]l[i]t[y], [s]omething [t]otall[y] lu[d]i[c][r]ous, I’d have [c]on[s]i[d]ered it [a]n [e]m[b]a[r]ra[ss]ing a[b][s]ur[d]it[y] to [e]ven [s]uggest it. [W]hereas [p][r][e]v[i]ou[s]ly I [w]ould have [s]at and [s]aid I con[s]i[d]ered it to [b]e an e[m][b]a[r]ra[ss]ing a[b][s]ur[d][i]t[y] and utter i[m][p]oss[i][b][i]l[i]t[y], [n]ow, for [o]ne [r]eason or a[n]other, I [a][c]tua[l]l[y] [c]on[s]i[d]er it [a]n em[b]arra[ss]ing [a][b][s]ur[d]it[y] to find [i]t utter[l][y] [i]mpossi[b]le.
07--- 237:327 .725
Y[e]t l[e]t [m]e ex[p][l]ain [m]y thoughts on th[i]s [i]ssue just a [l][i]ttl[e] [f]urther, i[f] I [m]ay? Be[c]ause my th[ou]ghts [o]n the t[o][p]i[c] ex[p]anded [s][i]gn[i][f]i[c]ant[l][y] ju[s]t re[c]ent[l][y], [a]s a m[a]tter of [f][a][c]t. It was ju[s]t l[a][s]t [S][a]turday, [a]t a [b][a][ck]yard [c]oo[k]out where I [s][a]t [a]t a [n]i[c]e e[n]ou[gh] gl[a][ss] ta[b]le [n]ext to a [b]ottle of [p]otato vod[k]a im[p]orted [f]rom [P]o[l]and, I was drin[k]ing the [p]otato vod[k]a [f]rom [P]o[l]and in a [s]mall [p][l][a][s]ti[c] g[l][a][ss] [w]ith [w]ater and i[c]e, and the [p]otato vod[k]a was [s][m]ooth, [q]uite [s][m]ooth a[c]tually, when the [p]er[s]on [s]itting [a][c]ro[ss] from [m]e [m]ade [a] [r]e[m]ar[k]---[h]e [s]aid that [h]e j[u][s]t [b]ought [h]alf [a] [d]ozen [p][r]e-[r]olled [b][l]unts f[r]om a [s]tate-[s]anctioned [d]i[s][p]en[s]a[r]y, that h[e] was [p][l]anning to [s]te[p] on the [s]idewalk and [l]ight u[p] one of th[e]se b[l]unts, have a [p]u[ff] or [t]w[o] [t][o] re[l]ax, [t][o] [w]hich h[e] o[ff]ered m[e] a [p]u[ff] [t][oo], i[f] I [w]anted [o]ne. [W]ell, [a]s it so h[a][pp]ened, [a]t the time, [d]e[s][p]ite my general [a]mbivalence to m[a]rijuana, I con[s][i][d]ered [i]t a [d]e[c]ent [i][d]ea. [I] [f]igured [I]’d have [o]ne [p]u[ff] or [t]wo, [t]o[p]s, that [m]aybe it [w]ould relax [m]e. I [f]igured, at the [t]ime, that a [p]u[ff] or [t]wo, [t]o[p]s, would have a [m]ini[m]al to [m]odera[t]e e[ff]ect---yet [w]he[n] I [w]e[n]t out to the [s]ide[w]alk [w]ith thi[s] [p]er[s]on [t]o [t]a[k]e a [p]u[f]f or [t]wo [f]rom his [s][t][a]te-[s]an[c]tioned blunt I’d di[s][c]over [th]at [th]i[s] weed re[t][ai]ned a [p]o[t]en[c]y th[a]t [p]erh[a][p]s I'd n[e]ver [e]n[c]ountered before.
08--- 396:505 .784
The [b][l]unts were exqu[i]s[i]te[l]y rolle[d] and ta[s]ted [d]e[l][i]c[i]ou[s], the [f]ir[s]t hit went [d]own [f]ine---yet as the [b]lunt pa[s]sed [f]or a [f][i]nal t[i]me, again[s]t my [b]etter jud[g]ment, [d]eep [d]own a[ck][n]owled[g]ing [th]at [th]e one [h]it was the [c]orre[c]t amount of [h]its, that a[n]y [s]ub[s]e[q]ue[n]t [h]it would [b][e] a w[h]o[l]l[y] [s]uper[f][l]uous [h]it, [I] [d]e[c][i][d]ed [t]o [t]a[k]e a [s]e[c]ond [h]it, where imme[d]iate[l][y] [f]o[l]lowing my ex[h]ale I [c]ou[gh]ed vo[c]i[f]erou[s]l[y]. I [c]ou[gh]ed vo[c]i[f]erou[s]ly then ju[s]t [m]o[m]ents later time began, [m]uch to [m][y] [s]ur[p][r][i]se, [p][r]o[c]eed[i]ng [i]n a highly ab[n]or[m]al [m]a[nn]er. I [f]ound mysel[f] at a [f]amily [c]oo[k]out, and [t]ime was p[r]o[c]eedi[n]g in a [m]a[n]ner that [s][t][r]u[ck] [m][e] as en[t]ire[l][y] ab[n]or[m]al. I was [l][ou]nging in a [n]on[d]e[s]cri[p]t [l][aw]n chair, ex[c]e[p]t [n]ow I [f]ound my[s]el[f] unable to ex[p]e[r]ien[c]e the [p][r]o[c]ession of [t]ime in our [r]u[d]i[m]en[t]a[r]y, [t]e[m][p]e[r]ate [m]anner. I [j]um[p]ed [b]e[t]w[ee]n di[s][j]ointed [s]c[e]nes. [P]eo[p]le [b]egan s[p][ea]king and [i]t was almo[s]t as though a [p]er[s]on h[i]t [f]ast [f]orward on their [s][p][ee]ch. [Th]en [th]e [s][p][ee]ch would [s][l][o]w ju[s]t [m][o][m]en[t]ari[l][y]. Add[i]t[i]onal[l][y], I [s][ee]med en[t]ire[l][y] [r]e[s]t[r][i]ct[e]d from [p]er[c][ei]ving how [p][eo][p]le were [p]er[c][ei]ving m[e], I [f]elt [l][i]ke [I] was [e]xtr[e]me[l][y] h[i]gh, in [f]a[c]t [I] knew [I] was [e]xtr[e]me[l][y] h[i]gh, and it wasn’t [e]x[a][c]t[l][y] the m[o]st a[pp][r][o][p][r]iate ven[u]e to be th[a]t h[i]gh---[a]t a [f]ami[l][y] [c]oo[k]out---[y]et I was [r]e[s]t[r][i]ct[e]d from per[c][ei]ving [h]ow [h][i]gh [I] [s][ee]med to the out[s][i]de world. At t[i]mes it felt l[i][k]e [I]’d gained a[cc][e][ss] to a [c][ue] that [s]ugg[e][s]ted [e]ve[r]yone kn[ew] [I] was [e]xt[r][e]mel[y] h[i]gh, yet thi[s] [n]otion, that [e]very[o]ne k[n]ew [I] [w]as [e]xt[r][e]mel[y] h[i]gh, [r]emained un[p][r]oven, [i]m[p]o[ss][i]ble to [p][r]ove, it [s]eemed. [B]ecause [p][eo][p]le would at [t]imes [s][ee]m to [b][e] [t]r[ea]ting m[e] as if [I] was [h]ardl[y] [h][i]gh at all, de[s][p]ite the [f][a][c]t that I [c]ould no [l]onger [e]x[p]erien[c]e time i[n] a [p]ure[l]y [l]inear [f][a]shion. [E][s]sen[ti]all[y] [m]y own a[c][ti]ons [b]e[c]ame [e]ntirel[y] foreig[n] to [m][e]---[m]ore than ju[s]t [b][e]ing [e]xtr[e]mel[y] high, I [b]e[c]ame di[s][c]on[c]erted at [th]e [th]ought of what a[c]tions I [c]ould [p]o[ss]i[b][l][y] [b][e] ta[k]ing that [c]aused the [p][eo][p]le around m[e] to [c][ea][s]e to view [m][e] as extr[e][m]e[l][y] high.
09--- 404:534 .757
The [o]nly a[c]tions of my [o]wn I was [s]till [a][w]are of [w]ere a[c]tions that [s][ee]med [t]o m[e] [t]o b[e] of [a] per[s]on [c][l][ea]r[l][y] ext[r][e]me[l][y] [h]igh, [s]o [h]ow [c]ould th[e]se [a][c][ti]ons [b][e] s[ee]n [b]y [r][a][ti]onal [a][c]tors to [b]e [c]oming from a [p]er[s]on who was [s]till ex[p]erien[c]ing [t]ime [l]inear[l]y? Thi[s] was, [a]t the [t]ime, a que[s]tion [s][a]ns [a]n [a]n[s]wer. [I]n [sh]ort, [i]t wasn’t [s]im[p]ly that I [c]ea[s]ed to ex[p]erien[c]e time in [a] norm[a]t[i]ve [f][a][sh][i]on---it was the [f][a][c]t my exte[r]ior [s]u[rr]oundings [s]eemed [t]o [c]on[t]inue [t]o re[c]og[n][i]ze [I] pa[ss]ed through [t][i]me in at lea[s]t [s]o[m]ewhat of [a] [n]ormat[i]ve [f][a]sh[i]on. Thi[s] was di[s][c]o[n][c]erting, be[c]ause [o]ne [w]ould a[ss]ume, if you le[f]t the [c]o[n][f][i]nes of [n]ormative t[i]me, [th]at [th]e [p]eo[p]le [i]n your v[i][c][i][n][i]ty would re[c]og[n]ize thi[s] [f]a[c]t---that you ex[i]t[e]d [n]ormat[i]ve time. But [i]n th[i][s] [c]a[s]e [i]t was almo[s]t as [i]f, ye[s]---I was no longer [p][r]esent, I was [e]x[p]e[r]ien[c]ing [t][i]me i[n] a[n] [e][n][t][i]rely a[s]ynch[r]onou[s] [f]ashion, yet [m]y [s]u[r]roundings [s]till [f]ound [m][e] to [b][e] [th]ere, [f]or [th]e [m]o[s]t [p]art. I was, to the [b][e][s]t of my [p]er[c][e][p]tual [f]a[c]ulti[e]s, exi[s]ti[n]g i[n] at [l][ea][s]t two [p][l]a[c]es at on[c]e. At the [f]a[m]i[l]y [c]oo[k]out, where [m]o[s]t [p][eo][p]le were [ei]ther [s][l][i]ght[l]y h[i]gh or not h[i]gh at [a]ll, and then [a]l[s]o in a [s]e[p]a[r]ate ite[r]ation of time, [w]here I [w]as j[u]m[p]ing f[r][o]m [p]e[r]iod to [p]e[r]iod, [i]n[d][i]scr[i]m[i][n][a]te[l]y. There's [l]ittle [d][o]ubt [n][o]w that time, as we’re exp[o]sed to it, is [o]nly one of s[e]veral [i]te[r][a]tions, yet how many [i]te[r][a]tions are there? It [s]eems [i]mpo[ss][i]ble for u[s] to [s]ay---[p]erha[p]s [i]te[r]at[i]ons [i]s the w[r]ong mode [t]o di[s]cu[s]s [t][y][p]es of [t][i]me. [I]t’s e[n][t][i]rely [p]o[ss][i]ble, [i]n fact, that [t][i]me [p]er[c]eives [u][s] inasm[u]ch as w[e] [p]er[c][ei]ve it. Yet [o]nce [w]e a[ck]nowledge [th]is [f][a][c]t, [th][a]t ti[m]e has [m]any [i]te[r]ations of [p][r]odu[c]ing [i]t[s]el[f], that ti[m]e [m]ay in [f]act [p]er[c]eive u[s] [r]ather than u[s] [p]er[c]eive [i]t, then we can no [l]onger b[l]ind[l]y [s]tate that our [d][r][ea]ms are ju[s]t [d][r]eams---be[c]ause it would s[ee]m to [m][e] that [i][f] time, [i]n [f]a[c]t, ta[k]es [m]any, i[f] [n]ot [i]n[f]i[n][i][t]e, [i][t]e[r]ations, then our [d][r][ea]ms [c]ould in [f]a[c]t b[e] en[t]irel[y] [r][ea]l, [th]at [th]ey m[a]y ju[s]t ex[i][s]t [i]n [d]i[ff]e[r]ent [i]te[r][a]tions of [t]ime. Our d[r][ea]ms could b[e] en[t]irel[y] [r][ea]l [e]x[p]e[r]ien[c]es, ju[s]t [e]x[p]e[r]ien[c]ed in [s]e[p]a[r]ate ite[r]ations of [t]ime.
10--- 458:632 .725
Of [c]our[s]e, [r]a[ti]onall[y] [s][p][ea][k]ing, not that w[e] [sh]ould [s][p][ea][k] [r]a[ti]onal[l][y], but [r]a[ti]onal[l][y] [s][p][ea][k]ing we [c]ould [q]u[e]st[i]on the m[e][r][i]ts of adh[e]ring to [Ea][s]tern Orthodox[y] gene[r]a[l]l[y]. Of [c]our[s]e we [c]ould [r]e[f]e[r]en[c]e the [c]a[s]e of [C]hry[s][o][s]t[o]m[o][s] [K][a][l][a][f][a]ti[s], the [M]et[r]opo[l]itan of [S][m]yrna, who un[c]ere[m]oniou[s]ly [h]ad [h]is [b]eard [r]i[pp]ed o[ff] [b]y [h]and, [h]is eyes g[ou]ged [ou]t, his nose and ears [c]ut o[ff] and was [s]u[b][s]e[q]uently [m]a[s][q]ue[r]aded a[r]ound the ve[r]y [c]ity where he a[c]ted as a [M]et[r]o[p]olitan until he [d]ied from h[i]s [i]nju[r]ies, from [h]aving [h]is [e]yes, nose, and ears [r]emoved, all of this during the [h][ei]ght of the G[r]e[c]o-Tur[k]ish war---as it [s]eems [s][a][f]e to [s][ay] that Ea[s]tern Ortho[d]o[x]y, to [s]ome e[x]tent, [d]i[d]n't [f]are Chry[s][o][s]t[o]m[o][s] well in the [e]nd, at [l][ea][s]t fro[m] a [m]at[e]ria[l]i[s]t [p]oint of view. It’s a [s][m]all [s]am[p]le [s]ize yet it’[s] [c]om[p][e]lling to a[n] [e]xte[n]t, and of [c]ourse the [s]am[p][l]e is [s]ub[s]tantia[ll]y [l]arger [w]hen [w]e [c]on[s]i[d]er the [p]light of the Ortho[d][o]x [p][o][p]ulation of [A]nat[o]lia [a]s a wh[o]le. [Th]e tru[th] is the Or[th]o[d]ox haven’t fared i[n][c]re[d]ibly [w]ell i[n] the N[ea]r [Ea][s]t [o]ver the pa[s]t, give or t[a][k]e, [o]ne thousand y[ea]rs or [s][o], we could [e]ven [s][a]y that [f]ollowing the [p][a]th of [Ea][s]tern Ortho[d]ox[y] has [p]erh[a][p]s been ext[r][e]mel[y] [f][r]aught with [p]e[r]il in [c]ertain [r][e]gions of the [Ea][s]tern Me[d]ite[r]ran[ea]n. W[e] [sh]ouldn't [s]p[ea][k] [r]a[ti]ona[l]l[y] or [l]ogi[c]a[l]l[y], yet if [w]e [w]ere [t]o [t][a][k]e the [c][a][s]e of, [s][ay], for exam[p]le, the [c]on[c]e[p]t of The One, the [b][e]ing that [c]on[c]e[p]tuall[y] [p]r[e][c][e]des [b][e]ing, that ex[i][s]ts [i]n [a][ll] a[s]pect[s] of [t]ime, but [a][l][s]o fun[d]a[m]en[t]ally [m]u[s]t exi[s]t out[s]i[d]e of [t]ime, [t]o a [c]ertai[n] ex[t]e[n]t [w]e [w]ould al[m]o[s]t n[ee]d to en[t]irel[y] [r]e[c]o[n][s]tru[c]t our [c]o[n][c]eption of [t]ime to [e]ven [r]emotel[y] [b][e] [a][b]le to [c]o[n][c][ei]ve of a [B][e]ing of that [n][a]ture. [N]ot to [s][ay] that we [c]ould ever [c]on[c][ei]ve a B[e]ing of that [n][a]ture [i]n [i]t[s] e[ss]en[c]e, yet to [e]ven a[pp]roach a [c]on[c]e[p]tion---if [l]ogi[c] [l][ea]ds us to a Fir[s]t [P]rin[c]i[p]le that ex[i][s]ts w[i]th[i]n and out[s][i]de of t[i]me, then our [c]on[c]e[p][ti]on of t[i]me is e[ss]en[ti]ally ab[s]urdi[s]t. [W]e [w]ould n[ee]d to r[e][c]o[n][s]tru[c]t thi[s] [c]o[n][c]ep[ti]on of time as [s]omething [w]e [e]xi[s]t [e]x[c]lu[s]ively [w]ithin, that [c]o[n]tains u[s] i[n] a li[n]ear f[a][sh]io[n], th[a]t [p]erh[a][p]s [p]er[c]eives u[s] i[n] a [s]o-[c]alled li[n]ear [f]ashio[n], [b]e[c]ause i[f] we are i[n] [f]a[c]t exte[n]sions of thi[s] [O]ne who m[u][s]t [b]y ne[c]e[ss]ity exi[s]t [b]oth w[i]th[i]n and out[s][i]de of t[i]me, [th]en [th]ere mu[s]t [e][x]i[s]t a [p]or[ti]on of u[s], as [e][x]ten[si]ons of the One, that [e][x][p]eriences time [i]n th[i]s fa[sh]ion, wh[i]ch [i]s of [c]our[s]e a[n] e[ss]e[n]tially ab[s]urdi[s]t manner of [c]on[c]eiving of time.
11--- 335:493 .679
I [c]an’t [th][i]n[k] of a [th][i]ng more ab[s]urd [th]an [c]on[c]eiving time i[n] a [s]ole[l]y [l]i[n]ear fashio[n]. It [s]eems ju[s]t---I [d]on’t kn[o]w---[t][o]t[a][ll]y ri[d]icu[l]ou[s] to [a][ss]ume [t]ime [p]ro[c]eeds i[n] a [p]ure[l]y [l]i[n]ear [f]ashio[n], that time [w]ouldn’t [p]roc[ee]d in [w]hatever [f]ashion it chooses, that [t]ime, e[t]ernal as [i]t [i]s, would n[ee]d u[s] to [p]er[c][ei]ve it, as o[pp]osed to [v]i[c]e [v]er[s]a, or [e][v]en [t][o] a[ss][u]me that [t]ime [p]ro[c][ee]ds at all, that, [i]f [i]t ch[o]se to [p]ro[c]eed, that it wouldn’t [p]ro[c]eed i[n] the fashio[n] of, [s]ay, [a]dding [p]er[c]en[t]a[g]es [a]s o[pp][o]sed to i[n][t]e[g]ers. I eng[a]ged in a [s]exual [l]i[a]ison with an older [f]emale, who at [f]ir[s]t [w]as [b][l]a[ck], the[n] [b]e[c]ame [w]hite, the[n] i[n][f]ormed [m]e th[a]t she h[a]d to go south of the [M]issou[r]i, a[f]ter I’d paid ninety [t]wo dollars [f]or a ho[t]el [r]oom [f]or the [t]wo of u[s], [a]s we [s][a]t in the [m]e[d]ium-[s]ized [s]e[d]an, with two [s][m]all and formle[s]s [d]ar[k] [b]eings [s]itti[n]g i[n] the [b]a[ck]. I [p]artoo[k] in the [s]mo[k]ing of a [s]iza[b]le [b]lunt that a [f][r]iend of mine [p]urchased [f][r]om a lo[c]al di[s][p]en[s]a[r]y, [a]nd [a][f]ter [t]a[k]ing a [m]ere [t]wo h[i]ts from th[i][s] [b][l]unt I [f]ound [m][y][s]el[f] inadv[i]sa[b][l][y] h[i]gh at a [f]ami[l][y] [f]unc[ti]o[n], ex[p]erien[c]ing t[i]me in a [s][p]uriou[s] [f]a[sh]io[n], in a [f]a[sh]ion [w]here I [w]as, on the one hand, a[pp]a[r]ent[l][y] [p][r]esent at the [p]art[y], yet [s]imult[a]neou[s][l][y] eng[a]ging [p]a[ss]ive[l][y] in a [f]orm of [t]ime that wasn’t [p]resent at the [p]arty---[s]o I [s]u[pp]ose it to [b]e [p]o[ss]i[b]le th[a]t [a]t the [t]ime I exi[s][t]ed at [t]wo [p][l]a[c]es at on[c]e. Yet as foo[l][i]sh as th[i]s may [s]ound, we should n[o]te that [e]ven Dion[y][s][i]u[s] [s]aid, and I qu[o]te, ‘it may [b]e [s]aid to [b]e praising God [f]or his [f]oolishne[ss], wh[i]ch [i]n [i]t[s]el[f] [s]eems a[b][s]urd and [s]trange, [b]ut thi[s] [f]oo[l]ishne[ss] [u]p[l]i[f]ts [u][s] to the ine[f]fa[b]le truth wh[i]ch [i]s there [b]e[f]ore all [r]easoning.’ [B]e[c]ause it would [st]and to [r][ea]son that i[f] [r][ea]so[n] [i]t[s]el[f] [i]s [i]n[c]a[p]a[b]le of a[s]certaining these [s][o]-[c]alled [d]ivine n[o]tions, then [p]erha[p]s [i]t’s onl[y] [i][d]io[c][y] that remains [c]a[p]a[b]le of [c]om[p][r]e[h]en[d]ing these [h]i[s]to[r]i[c]ally [d]iv[i]ne notions, [o]f t[i]me, [o]f [b]eing, [o]f [p]la[c]ement, [o]f Fir[s]t [C]auses.
12--- 418:523 .799
[P]erha[p]s [w]hat [w][e] n[ee]d is a [r][i]go[r]o[u][s] [i]d[i]o[c]y. [I]t’[s] entire[l]y po[s]s[i][b]le, as I’m [n]ow thinking a[b]out it, that with [r]e[g]ard to th[e]se [n]otions w[e] should [e]m[p]loy [n]othing [e]x[c]e[p]t a [r][i][g]o[r]o[u][s] [i]d[i]o[c][y], that [r][ea]son and [s]ound [l]ogi[c] [h]ave ab[s]o[l]ute[l]y no p[l]a[c]e [h]ere, in the [r]ealm of [m]etaph[y]s[i][c]s. That in or[d]er to w[r]a[p] our [m][i]nds a[r]ound these [i]deas, [l][i]ke [b]eing in two [p][l]a[c]es at on[c]e, of [b]eing [b]oth w[i]th[i]n and out[s][i]de of [t][i]me, of [t][i]me [b]eing e[s]sentia[ll][y] [n]on-[l]i[n]ear [a]s much [a]s it’[s] e[s]sentia[ll][y] [l]i[n]ear, of time [p]er[c][ei]ving [u][s] as [m][u]ch as w[e] [p]erc[ei]ve it, that we [m][u][s]t [b]e[c]o[m]e [m]ore [i]d[i]oti[c] than we’[v]e e[v]er [b]een, that [i][f] we con[t]inue [t]o a[tt][e]m[p]t [t]o [p]a[ss] our[s]elves o[ff] as in[t]e[l]lig[e]nt---[w]ell, [w]e’ll [c]on[t]inue to [f][l]ou[n]der in the [s]to[ch]a[s]ti[c] b[r][ee]zes that [r]i[pp]le a[r]ound th[e]se [c]o[n][c]e[p]ts. [S]ans [i]d[i]o[c]y, these [c]o[n][c]epts will [c]o[n]tinue to ex[i][s]t in a shroud of m[y][s]tery, not [th]at [th]ey [c]an ever [b]e known fu[ll][y], that's un[l]i[k]e[l][y], [i]t’[s] mo[r]e o[r] [l]e[ss] [i]m[p]o[ss]i[b]le, [b]ut if we em[p][l]oy the [p]ro[p]er amount of [i][d][i]o[c]y, of [r][i]go[r]o[u][s] [i][d][i]o[c][y], it’[s] [p]o[ss][i]ble [th]at [th]e m[y][s]te[r][y] these [c]on[c]e[p]ts are sh[r]ou[d]e[d] in [c]ould b[e] am[e][l]io[r]ated to a [d]eg[r][ee]. We [c]o[n][c]e[p]tua[l]ize a [F]ir[s]t [C]ause, [a] One, [a] [c]o[n][c]e[p]t that may, in [f]a[c]t, be ne[c]e[ss]ary [f]o[r] ou[r] [s][p]e[c]ies to exi[s]t, at [l][ea][s]t [s]o[c]ia[ll][y], it very well [c]ould be [th]e [c]a[s]e [th]at we [c]an only exi[s]t [l]ogi[c]a[ll][y] w[i]th th[i][s] i[d]ea of [F]ir[s]t [C]ause or One pre[c]e[d]ing u[s]. Otherwise, [s]ans [F]ir[s]t [C]ause, [s][a]ns a Be[g]inning, we [h]ardly [h]ave an ar[g]ument [f]or linear time, and i[f] we’re deprived of a [l]ogi[c]al argu[m]ent [f]or [l]inear time, then how [c]an we [m]a[k]e [s]e[n][s]e of a[n]ything? [I]t’[s] [i][m]po[ss]ible to [m]a[k]e [s]e[n][s]e of a[n]ything, i[n] the [t]rad[i]t[i]onal [s]e[n][s]e, [s]a[n]s linear [t]ime. I[f] [t]ime [f]ails to pro[c][ee]d [l]inear[l][y], at [l][ea][s]t [f]or u[s], i[f] we’re ho[pp]in[g] and [s][k]i[pp]in[g] w[i][l]l[y] n[i][l]l[y] in the [f][a]bri[c] of time, i[n] [p]ure[l]y [n]on[l]i[n]ear [m][a][nn]e[r]s, then [n]othing [c]an [m]a[k]e [s]en[s]e [f]or u[s]. We’re [l]itera[ll]y [s]en[s]e[l]e[ss]. [S]an[s] a [F]ir[s]t Cause, we're [l]itera[ll]y [s]en[s]e[l]e[ss]. [T]i[m]e [m]ea[n]s [n]othing. [T]ime, it [s][ee][m]s to [m][e], is [s]ome[th]ing [th]at one can on[l][y] [i]nve[s]tigate [i]d[i]oti[c]al[l][y].
13--- 538:727 .740
Or am I just b[e]ing [s][i]l[l][y]? Am I [s][i]mp[l][y] [s]u[cc]umbing to a [s][p]e[c]i[f]i[c] [t]y[p]e of [s]i[l]l[i]ne[ss], [a]s I’m [a][p]t to do [f]rom [t]ime [t]o [t]ime? [M][o]st, it should b[e] [n][o]ted, who k[n][o]w [m][e] k[n][o]w [m][e] to b[e] pr[o]ne to [s]u[c]cumbing to [s]i[l]line[ss] from [t]ime [t]o [t]ime? Am I [b]eing [m][e][l]od[r][a][m]ati[c] [b]y [e]xt[r][a][p]o[l]at[i]ng [m]y [i]ntense [i]m[p][r]essio[n] [f]ollowing [m]y waking [u]p [f]r[o]m [m]y [d][r]eam, am I [m][e][l]o[d][r][a][m]atica[l]ly [e]xt[r][a][p]o[l]ating th[a]t [i]m[p][r]ession just a [l]ittle too [f]ar b[y] [i]m[p][l][y]ing this [f]e[m]ale, who e[n]g[a]ged me i[n] a sexual [l]i[a]ison, [m]ight have bee[n] a[n] [a]ngel or a de[m]o[n]? Yet on [th]e o[th]er hand I should note [th]is, it was a[c]tually [q]u[i]te [s]ome t[i]me [a]g[o], [s][o] long [a]g[o] in [f][a][c]t th[a]t I was [p]r[a][c]ti[c]a[l]ly, now [th]at I [th]in[k] of it, [m]o[r]e o[r] [l][e][ss] a[n] a[d]o[l][e][s]ce[n]t, [d]e[s][p]ite being a [f]u[l]ly grown [m]an. At the t[i][m]e [I] was looking [f]o[r] a[p]art[m]ents with [m]y [f]athe[r]---the [f]i[r][s]t a[p]art[m]ent I’d lea[s]e on [m]y own, and [w]e [w]ere [d]o[w]n[t]o[w]n, the [t]wo of us, [l]oo[k]ing [a]t [a]n [a]partme[n]t I [d]i[d]n't [r]ea[l][i]ze at the t[i]me was [r]ent-[c]ont[r]olled, mea[n]ing ar[b]it[r]a[r]y [c]a[p]s were [p]l[a]ced on the in[c]ome of the [t]e[n]ants in order to re[t][ai]n e[l][i]gi[b][i][l][i]ty, [w]hi[ch] of [c]ou[r]se [w]as the [r]eason [w]hy the [a]pa[r]tments [w]ere s[u][ch] [a] g[r]eat deal. [L]ucki[l][y] enou[gh] [f]or [m][e] [m]y [s]a[l]a[r][y] [a]t th[a]t time was [i]n[s]u[ff][i]cient and [p]altr[y], [s]o I [s]till [m]anaged to [q]ua[l]i[f]y [f]or the a[p]art[m]e[n]t de[s][p]ite the [r]e[n]t [c]ont[r]ol [r]e[q]uire[m]ents, had I waited the time ne[c]e[ss]ary for [o]ne to [b]e[c][o]me availa[b]le, [b]ut, wh[i]le [I] [d]id add my [n][a]me to the w[ai]tli[s]t, I [d]i[d]n't wait the time [n]e[c]e[ss]ary, [b]ecause I [s]igned a [l][ea][s]e on an apart[m]ent thr[ee] [m]iles [n]orth of [d]o[w]nto[w]n [l]e[s]s than a w[ee]k [l]ater. I was [s]tand[i]ng [i]n a [q]uarter-em[p]ty [p]ar[k]ing [l]ot i[n] a[n] area of [d]o[w]nto[w]n where n[o] [l]ess than half a [d]ozen [p]r[i]vate[l]y [o]wned [p]ar[k]ing [l]ots [s]at [s][i]de [b][y] [s][i]de [b][y] [s][i]de, all with [r]easona[b]le short-[t]erm [r]ates. This [p]ar[t]i[c]ular a[r]e[a] of do[w]nto[w]n, [a]t th[a]t [p]oint in [t]ime, was a [f]ruit[f]ul [a]re[a] socia[ll]y---there were a [p][l]etho[r]a of vi[b][r]ant [b]ars and [r]e[s]tau[r]ants, al[s]o [s][i]de [b][y] [s][i]de [b][y] [s][i]de, that m[y][s]el[f] a[n]d others e[n]joyed [f][r]e[q]uenting, that were [r]out[i]nel[y] [p][a][ck]ed [f][r]om [a][f]tern[o]on t[o] [e]venin[g]. Now, [b]y [c]om[p]a[r]i[s]on, i[f] you wal[k] [th]rough [th]at [s]ame a[r]ea of [d]o[w]nto[w]n, [b]y [m]y [c][ou]nt, [m]ore th[a]n h[a]l[f] of those [b]ars and [r]estau[r]ants are shut [d]o[w]n [f]or good. Whereas I [u]sed t[o] [f]requent that [p]art of [d]o[w]nto[w]n, ho[pp]ing be[t]w[ee]n [t]wo o[r] thr[ee] o[r] [f]ou[r] [v]enues, ha[v]ing a [f]ruit[f]ul ex[p]erience [s][o]cially---now [i]t's [a]lm[o][s]t [a]s [i]f th[a]t a[r]ea of do[w]nto[w]n has aged [r]ight [a]long with me. As my [s][o]cial [a]ct[i]v[i]ty has waned, [a]t least with rega[r]d to hopping from [b]a[r] to [b]a[r], the a[c]t[i]v[i]ty of th[i][s] [s]e[c]tion of do[w]nto[w]n has [w]aned as [w]ell. As I've be[c]ome [l]ess [l]i[k]e[l]y to [p]o[p] out on a Wednes[d]ay a[f]tern[oo]n [t][o] [t][wo] o[r] three o[r] [f]ou[r] [p]l[a][c]es, this area of [d]o[w]nto[w]n has [b]een una[b]le to [s]u[s]t[ai]n [b]usine[ss]e[s] [th]at u[s]ed to [th]rive on [p]eo[p]le [p]o[pp]ing out on Wednesd[a]y a[f]ternoons, ho[pp]ing [f]rom two o[r] three o[r] [f]ou[r] [p]laces.
14--- 535:727 .735
There a[r]e, in fa[c]t, ha[r]dly any [b]a[r]s or [r]e[s]tau[r]ants that are [s]till open on the [b]lo[ck]. There’s [b]een a [g]ar[g]antuan [F]or [L][ea][s]e [s]ign on the [l]arge[s]t ven[u]e [f]or [y][ea]rs now, and the [p]la[c]es that should [b]e o[p]en for [b]usi[n]e[s]s on a [l][a]te [w]eekd[a]y a[f]ter[n]oon are [n][o] [l]onger [o][p]en for [b]usi[n]e[s]s on [l][a]te [w]eekd[a]y a[f]ter[n]oons, whereas in p[r][e]v[i]ous y[ea]rs eve[r][y] [b]ar and [r]e[s]tau[r][a]nt [o]n the [b][l]o[ck] would have [b]een [b]u[s]t[l]ing with [b]usi[n]e[s]smen, e[cc]entri[c]s, [a]nd [a]l[c]oho[l]i[c]s, [n]ow th[e]se s[a]me [v]enues [d][o]n’t [e][v]e[n] [o]pe[n] their [d]oors until l[a]ter at night, if at all. I’ve [w]al[k]ed [th]rough [th]at [b]lo[ck] mul[t]i[p]le [t]imes ho[p]ing [t]o [p]o[p] in[t]o ju[s]t [o]ne [o]ld [b]ar or [o]ne [o]ld [r]e[s]tau[r]ant for ju[s]t [o]ne [d][r]in[k], and I’ve [d]i[s][c]o[v]ered e[v]ery [s]ingle [b]ar that’s [s]tayed in [b]usiness on that [b][l]o[ck] [c][l]osed to [c]u[s]tomers [a]t th[a]t time. A [b]ar [i]n a [b]usin[e][s]s [d][i][s]t[r][i][c]t [r][ea]ll[y] has [n]o ex[c]use [f]or [n]ot [b]eing o[p]en [b]y [f]our [p]m on a w[ee][k][d]ay. It’[s] a[b][s]ur[d] for a [b]ar [i]n a [b]usin[e][ss] [d][i][s]tr[i][c]t to [b]e [c]losed for [b]usine[ss] [a]t th[a]t time, yet th[a]t's ex[a][c]t[l]y what's h[a]ppened to this [b][l]o[ck], it's now a [d]ead [b][l]o[c]k, it's a [b][l]o[c]k that's more or [l]ess officia[ll][y] [d]e[c][ea][s]ed [s]ocia[ll][y]. I[n] a[n][y] [c]a[s]e, years ago, [w]hen I [w]as [l]oo[k]ing [f]or my [f]ir[s]t apart[m]ent with [m]y d[a]d, st[a]nding in a [q]uarter-em[p]ty [p]ar[k]ing [l][o]t on this very b[l][o][ck], I [s][e]nt a t[e]xt m[e][ss]age to a younger g[i][r]l I u[s]ed to fl[i][r]t with---although we n[e]ver [e]ng[a]ged in a [s][e]xual li[a]ison, but there was [p]e[r]ha[p]s a [sh]ared inte[r]e[s]t fo[r] a [sh]ort [p]e[r]iod, [p]erha[p]s we both [c][a]me to the [c]on[c][l]usio[n] e[n]g[a]gi[n]g i[n] a sexual [l]i[a]ison, although [t]em[p][t]ing, was ill-advised, that for on[c]e in the [c]our[s]e of [h]uman [h]i[s]to[r]y [p]eo[p]le should [r]e[f][r][ai]n [f][r]om eng[a]ging in any [s]ort of ill-ad[v]ised [l]i[ai]son, [s]o we de[v]e[l]o[p]ed a [f][r]iendshi[p] of [s]orts. It was a [sh]a[ll]ow [f][r]iend[sh]ip, as mo[s]t [f]riend[sh]ips that [r]e[s]ult [f][r]om [s][t][a]ved o[ff] [s]exual li[ai][s]ons [t]end to b[e], th[e]se are of cour[s]e the [m]o[s]t [sh]allow and in[s][i][p]id friend[sh][i][p]s i[m]agi[n]a[b][l]e, they’re inter[m]i[n]a[b][l]e [a]nd [a][s]i[n]ine, but th[i]s part[i]cular f[r]iendsh[i]p [w]as [r]e[w]arding [i]n [i]ts own [w]ay. [S]o sure, a[r]ound [th]i[s] [t]ime, in [th]i[s] [p]arking [l]ot, I [s][e]nt her a [t][e]xt m[e][ss]age [t]o no re[p][l]y, and I k[n]ew then, [s]omehow or a[n]other, in[s]ti[n]ctua[l]ly I [s]u[pp]ose [I] k[n]ew that [I] wouldn’t get a [r]e[p]l[y], [th]at [th]e friend[sh][i][p] had [r]un [i]t[s] cour[s]e, that it’[s] [p]ure[l]y [sh]a[ll]ow and [i]n[s][i][p][i]d nature was [a]b[u]n[d]ant[l]y evi[d]ent [t][o] the [t]w[o] of us, [a]nd [th][a]t [th]e o[th]er [p]arty, [th]is younger girl, had taken it u[p]on her[s][e]l[f] to [s][e]ver the [f]ri[e]ndshi[p] on[c]e and [f]or all. I've [c]ea[s]ed to [c]o[mm]uni[c][a]te with her [s]in[c]e, yet de[s][p]ite the ulti[m]ate[l]y sha[ll]ow and [i]n[s][i][p][i]d [n][a]ture of th[i]s friendsh[i][p], [d]e[s][p]ite the [f]a[c]t we never [c]ro[ss]ed the l[i]ne, [s]o to [s][p]ea[k], [f]or [s]ome r[ea]son [I] [f]elt a [s]ort of [n]on[s]en[s]i[c]al [d][ee][p] hurt, a [p]ain[f]ul [l]onging of [s]orts, rooted i[n] e[ss]entia[l]ly [n]othing, [s]tand[i]ng [i]n that [p]ar[k]ing [l]ot, k[n][o]wing I'd [n]ever hear [f]rom thi[s] [p]er[s]on again, who I had [n][o] [ph]ys[i][c]al rela[ti]on[sh][i][p] w[i]th and who I had a[n] [e][n]tire[l]y [sh]a[ll]ow a[n]d i[n]si[p]id [e]mo[ti]onal re[l]a[ti]on[sh][i][p] w[i]th.
15--- 337:449 .751
It wasn't [th]at lon[g] a[g]o [th]at [I] was [r]e[m][i]n[d]ed of thi[s] t[e]xt [m][e][s]sage [r]an[d]om[l][y], I’d n[ea]r[l][y] entire[l][y] [r]e[m]oved thi[s] [p]er[s]on f[r]om [m]y [m]e[m]o[r][y], ju[s]t as y[ea]rs [p][r]ior she’d [s]i[m]i[l]ar[l][y] [r]e[m]oved [m][e] from her [m]e[m]o[r][y], [a]nd I felt [a]n odd pang in [m]y [s]to[m]a[c]h as I re[c]alled thi[s] [t][e]xt [m][e][ss]age. Was[n]'t the e[n][t]ire [p]oint of [t]urning [a]w[ay] from [e][n]g[a]ging i[n] these [s]exual li[a]iso[n]s to [a]void [s]uch [p]angs? Don't we [a]ll ju[s]t inveteratel[y] [a][s]s[u]me that [p]angs in our [s]to[m]a[c]hs [a]l[m]o[s]t ex[c][l][u][s]ive[l][y] res[u]lt fr[o]m [s]exual [l]iaisons? And don’t we [a]ll then [a]void [s]exual [l]iaisons [p]ure[l][y] in [a][tt]em[p]ts [t]o [a]void [p]angs in our [s]to[m]achs? Yet [i]n th[i][s] ca[s]e, a [p]e[r][s]on I [m]atu[r]e[l][y] avoi[d]ed engag[i]ng w[i]th [s]exual[l][y], and [v]i[c]e [v]er[s]a, of cour[s]e, who I in[s]t[ea]d dev[e][l]o[p]ed a [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] [sh]a[ll]ow and [i]ns[i][p][i]d frie[n]d[sh]i[p] with, e[n]ded u[p] [c]ausing [m]e a [p]ang in [m]y [s]to[m]a[c]h, all be[c]ause I [s][e]nt her a [t][e]xt [m][e][s]sage [t]o [n][o] re[p]ly, k[n][o]wing the an[k]le d[ee][p] f[r]iendship w[e]’d [h]arbored [h]ad [r]un its [c]ourse and [c]ome to a [c]on[c]lusion. My [p]oint [i]n all [th][i][s] [i]s [th]at [th]e [f]ir[s]t o[b][j]ection the ave[r]a[g]e [p]er[s]on would [r]aise to [i][d]enti[f][y]ing the [b][e]ing in my [d]r[ea]m [a]s [a]n an[g]el would [b]e the [f]act the two of u[s] e[n]g[a][g]ed i[n] a [s]exual li[a]ison---yet what [I]’ve ju[s]t [d]e[s]c[r][i]bed [s]u[g]ge[s]ts that [p]erha[p]s there's no [d]ifferen[c]e in our [r]ela[ti]on[sh]i[p]s with [p]eo[p]le, that w[e] [c]an't dis[c]rimin[a]te [b]etw[ee]n [r]el[a][ti]on[sh]ips [b][a]sed o[n] whether or not a [s]exual li[a]iso[n] o[cc]urred. Th[a]t [p]erh[a][p]s d[i][s]t[i]ngu[i][sh][i]ng rel[a][ti]on[sh][i]ps [b][a][s]ed on whether or not they feature a [s]e[x]ual [e][x]ch[a]nge has [b]een a g[r]o[s]s [e][r]ror on our [p]art. Th[a]t [p]erh[a][p]s we shoul[d]n't [a] [p][r]io[r]i [a][ss]ert that [a]ngels [d]on't [e]ng[a]ge in [s]exual [l]i[a]isons with u[s]. [B]ecause it’s [e]ntire[l]y [p]ossi[b]le they do, and [th]at [th]ere’s really nothing wrong with a[n] an[g]el e[n]g[a][g]ing u[s] [i]n th[i][s] ty[p]e of [l]i[a]ison, [s]exua[ll]y.
16--- 374:474 .789
[S]o we can’t rule out entire[l]y the [p]o[ss][i][b][i][l][i]t[y] [th]at [th][i][s] [b][e]ing---de[s][p]ite e[n]g[a]ging m[e] i[n] a [s]exual [l]i[a]ison, in a [s]mall [p][l]etho[r]a of [r][a]cial [f]orms---was still, i[n] [f]a[c]t, a[n] angel [p]ointing me toward the [f]a[c]t my [l]i[f]e, in [l]arge [p]art, [f]o[ll]owed the [p][a][th] of [Ea]stern Or[th]odox[y]. The [m][a][th]e[m][a][t]i[ci]an, [a][tt]e[m][p][t]ing [t]o [i]nf[i]n[i]tely ext[r][a][p]olate the [m][a][ss]ive a[ss]um[p][ti]ons that are [r][ea]l world [i]ntegers, [i]s, [i]n e[ss][e]n[c]e, a com[p][l][e]te [ch]ar[l]atan. For [e]ons w[e]'ve a[ss]umed [s]exual [r]e[l][a][ti]ons t[ai]nt [r]e[l][a][ti]on[sh]ips, that on[c]e a [s]exual [l]ine is [c][r]o[ss]ed, [th]en [th]e [r]e[l]a[ti]on[sh]ip will [b][e] i[rr]evo[c]a[b][l][y] [t]ainted, yet w[e]’ve never [c]on[s]idered that [t]ainting [c]a[n] a[n]d will o[cc]ur [e]ven [s]a[n]s [s]ex. Yet [p]erha[p]s we’re [m]a[k]ing [t]oo [m]uch of the all[e]ged [d]i[s]tin[c]tio[n] be[t]w[ee]n angels and [d][e][m]ons as w[e]ll. Th[a]t just [a]s [p]erh[a][p]s we’ve [m][a]de too [m]uch of the [d]i[s][t]inctio[n] be[t]ween [s]e[x]ual and [n]on-[s]e[x]ual rel[a]tio[n]s, we're [n]ow [m]a[k]ing [t]oo [m]uch of the [d]i[s][t]in[c]tio[n] be[t]w[ee]n angels and [d][e][m]ons. It should be [n][o]te[d] that [e][v]en [D]io[n][y][s]iu[s] [n][o]te[d] that pure [e][v]il, [i]f [i]t [w]ere to [e]xi[s]t, [w]ould imm[e][d][i]atel[y] [c][ea][s]e to [e]xi[s]t, because [e]ve[r]y[th]ing [th]at [e]xi[s]ts is [d]e[r]i[v]ati[v]e of the One, wh[i]ch [i]s [i]nca[p]able of [p][r]o[d]u[c]ing [p]ure [e][v]il, and that [e][v]en re[l]ati[v]e [e][v][i]l [i]s [s][i]m[p][l]y a [f]un[c]tion of [p]ur[s]uing aims ina[pp][r]o[p][r][i]ate to a b[e]ing's [p][r]o[p]er [f]un[c]tion, that [e]ve[n] [d][e][m]o[n]s are onl[y] [d]e[m]on[i]c [i]n their [d]i[s]tan[c]e fr[o]m the [O]ne, not in a [s][e][n]se of re[p]res[e][n]ting [p]ure [e]vil, [b][e]cause were they to [b][e] [p]ure [e]vil they would [c][ea][s]e to [e]xi[s]t. [E][s]sentially, this view [p]ur[p]orts [th]at [th]ere’s no [f]un[d]a[m]en[t]al [d]i[s][t]inction betw[ee]n a[n] angel a[n]d a [d][e][m]on, ju[s]t a [d][i][ff]er[e]n[c]e in the a[pp][r]o[p][r]i[a]ten[e][ss] of their [ai]ms. Whereas an [a]ngel [p]ursues the [ai]ms a[pp][r][o][p][r]ia[t]e to it, in the [p][r]o[p]er [p][r][o][p]ortion to its being, a de[m]on [p]ur[s]ues the [ai]ms [m]o[r]e o[r] le[s]s ina[pp][r][o][p][r]ia[t]e to i[t], [s]t[r][ay]ing from its [p][r]o[p]er [p][r][o][p]ortions.
17--- 449:620 .724
Now as it [r]egards [m]y d[r][ea]m, a b[e]ing [t]ook [m][u]l[t]iple [r][a]cial [f]o[r]ms yet [r]e[t][ai]ned the [s][a]me e[ss]en[c]e, [m][u]ch like our [d]ual yet [m]oni[s]t [f]o[r]mu[l][a]tion, and [th]en [th]ere were two [d]ar[k] and [f]orm[l]e[ss] [b]ei[n]gs i[n] the [b]a[ck][s]eat---[p]erha[p]s [s]igni[f]ying [th]e evil [th]at’s im[p]o[ss]i[b]le to exi[s]t, that [i]s [s]tr[i][pp]ed of [b][e]ing as [s]oon as it [b]e[c]omes [s][o]-[c]alled [p]ure [e]vil. [S][o] [p]erha[p]s these two dar[k] [f]ormle[ss] [b][e]ings were the non-exi[s]te[n]t iter[a]tions of [m][y][s]el[f] and [m][y] [c]om[p]anion, [p]o[s]si[b]l[y] an [a]ngel. Now thi[s] [b][e]ing, [p]erha[p]s an [a]nge[l], or [p]erha[p]s a d[e][m]on, who [t]ook [m]ul[t]i[p]le r[a]cial [f]o[r]ms, eventuall[y] [i]n[f]o[r]med [m][e], [i]n this [c]ar with the two [s]mall [sh]a[p]e[l]e[ss] forms [s][i]tt[i]ng [i]n the ba[ck][s]eat, that [sh]e had to go [s]outh of the [M]issou[r]i, to which I [c]o[r]re[c]ted her: Don't you [m]ean [s]outh of the [M][i][ss][i][ss][i][pp]i? Yet we should now [c]o[n]si[d]er that [p]erha[p]s my [c]o[r]re[c]tion was, i[n] the [c]o[n]text of the [d][r]eam, [e][n]tire[l]y i[n][c]o[r]re[c]t. By [e]m[p][l]oying the ph[r]ase South of the Missou[r][i] this b[e]ing was [p]erha[p]s [d]i[r]e[c]t[l][y] im[p][l]ying [th]at [th]ere are [n]o [n][ea]t [d]i[s]tin[c]tions---that [d]ua[l]ity is an i[ll]usion, [th]at [th]i[s] i[d]ea that a [s]tate can [b][e] n[ea]t[l][y] [d]iv[i][d]ed [b][y] a [M][i][ss][i][ss][i][pp][i] [i]s a [m][i][s]gui[d]ed a[pp]roach, [th]at [th]is [b][e]i[n]g, whether an angel or [d][e][m]o[n], in f[a][c]t wouldn’t e[m]erge on [s]ome other [s][i]de [p]re[c][i][s]e[l]y be[c]ause there is n[o] [a][c]tual o[th]er [s]ide, there’s [o]n[l]y a [s][e][p]a[r]ate [r][e][l]ative [p][l]a[c]e. And [w]hen I [w][o]ke up, I [f]elt as th[ou]gh m[y] [l][i][f]e had always [f]o[ll]owed [th]e path of Ea[s]tern Or[th]o[d]oxy, but [i]n th[i][s] [e]mbra[c]e I was a[cc]epting the [n]on-[d]ual [n]ature of our [e]xi[s]ten[c]e inasmuch as I was [a][cc][e]pting [a]nything [e]l[s]e. I [e]m[b]ra[c]ed Ea[s]tern Orthodoxy a[f]ter [e]ng[a]ging i[n] a [s]exual li[a]iso[n] with a [b][e]ing who [t]ook mul[t]iple r[a]cial [f]orms, who l[e][f]t [m]e to [s][e]ttle, not [s]outh of the [M][i][ss][i][ss][i]ppi, [b]ut [r]ather [s]outh of the [M]issou[r]i---and o[pp]osite of the [b]oth of u[s] were two [s]mall dar[k] [f]orms who [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] [l]a[ck]ed [B][e]ing, [s]igni[f]ying the im[p]o[ss][i][b][i][l][i]t[y] of [p]ure [e]vil. My [d][r]eam a[pp][r]o[p][r]iatel[y] [r]e[p][r]oached thi[s] i[d]ea of t[r][ue] [d][u]alit[y], of [p]ure good and [p]ure evil, [r]e[p][l]a[c]ing this ab[s]o[l][u]te [d][u]a[l]it[y] [w]ith a [r]e[l]ative [d]ua[l]it[y] [w][i]th[i]n the One, of [w]hich [a]ll Good and [a]ll [B]eing o[r][i]g[i][n]ates, [b]oth [i]n t[r]an[s]cenden[c]e and i[m]ma[n]en[c]e. I then [r]econ[c][i]led [m][y][s]elf w[i]th th[i][s] [b]eing that went [s]outh of the [M]issouri---and [p]erha[p]s this [b][e]in[g] wasn't l[ea]vin[g] [m]e as [m]uch as [g]uiding [m]e, [g]iving me hints [n]ot on where to g[o], [n][o], she wasn't [s][ay]ing where I should [g]o or [s][t][ay], she was in[s][t]ead [g]uiding [m][e] on how to r[ea]d a [m]ap.
18--- 415:582 .713
[E]ven Dion[y][s][i]us [s]t[a]ted outright, ‘One [s]ays of [G]od, the cause of all [g]ood, that h[e] [i]s “[i]n[e][b]r[i][a]ted”’---[a]nd with th[a]t in [m][i]nd, against [m][y] [b]etter judg[m]ent, I poured [m]y[s]el[f] a ni[c]e gla[ss] of vodka l[a][s]t [S][a]tur[d]ay be[f]ore [m][y] girl[f]riend and [I] [d][i]ned out, knowing all [t]oo [w]ell that [w]e [p]lanned [t]o go [t]o the bar [p][r]ior [t]o our [r]eservation, for a [c]o[ck]tail. My [s][i]g[n][i]f[i][c]ant other ag[r]eed to [a][c]t [a]s our [d]esig[n]ated [d][r]iver for the [n]ight, and I’d [s]pent the [e]ntire wee[k] a[b][s]taining from [e]very [c]on[s]u[m]a[b]le item [e]x[c]ept water, [c]o[ff][ee], heart[y] grains, and [f]roz[e]n v[e]geta[b]les, and [I] [f][e]lt as though [I] deserved a [n][i]ce, i[n]e[b]riated [n][i]ght. [I] [s][ai]d to m[y][s][e]lf [Y]ou know what?---[y]ou’ve [r][i]go[r][ou][s][l][y] [d]e[n]ied [y]our[s]elf p[l]easure thi[s] w[ee]k, and you [d]eserve a [n][i]ght [w]here you [g]o out and [g]et [w]h[i][t]e girl [w]a[s]ted. [S]o [I] im[b][i]bed a [c]o[ck]tail [b]e[f]ore the [c]o[ck]tail, and [w]hen [w]e a[r]r[i]ved at the [b]ar, [w]aiting [f]or our [f][r]iends to m[e]et us, w[e] t[r]ied to [p][r]olong the [c]o[ck]t[ai]l and m[a][k]e a [p]erf[e][c]t s[e]gw[ay] i[n]to the di[nn]er---un[f]o[r]tunatel[y], I’d [f][i]n[i]shed my [c]o[ck]tail [f]irst, and in[c]orre[c]tl[y] [a]ssu[m]ing I had [a]nother ten to [f]i[f]teen [m]inutes be[f]o[r]e ou[r] [f][r]ie[n]ds [a][r]rived, [s]o I ordered a [s]e[c]ond [c]o[ck]tail, y[e]t as [s]oon as the [s][e][c]ond [c]o[ck]tail [a][r]rived our f[r]iends [a]l[s]o [a][rr]ived, and then [w]e [w]ere [s][a]t [a]t the table [w]here, [n][ee]d[l]e[ss] to [s]ay, w[e] imm[e][d]iate[l][y] o[r][d]ered a [n]i[c]e bottle of [r]ed wine. [S]o [r]ather than [s]avo[r]ing my [s]e[c]ond [c]o[ck]tail at the [b]ar a[n]d the[n] [b]eginning our [b][o]ttle [o]f [w]ine, I [w]as [c]on[c]urre[n]tly f[i]n[i]sh[i]ng my [s]e[c]o[n]d [c]o[ck]tai[l] [w]h[i]le al[s]o [s]tarting our [b]ottle of [w][i]ne. [B]e[f]ore [I] knew it [I] was tho[r]oughly [d][r]un[k], I [b]e[c]ame e[n]thusia[s]ti[c]all[y] in[e][b]r[i]ated, [a]nd [I] [f]elt [a]s though [I] [d]eserved it---I [f]elt as though I [d]eserved to [b][e] in[e][b]r[i]ated, to [c]o[mm]ent u[p]on a [s][m]all [h]and[f]ul of to[p]i[c]s that I [p][r]o[b]a[b]ly should [h]ave [r]e[m]ained [s]ilent a[b]out, to [b]a[bb]le [a][b]out and [u][p]on [a] [p]ot[p]ourri of issues th[a]t [p]erh[a][p]s would have [b]een [b][e]tter l[e]ft unaddr[e]ssed. [B]ut [s]ometimes [i]t’[s] [i]m[p]ortant to [d]o things [s]olely out of [a][b][u]n[d]an[c]e, to [b]e[c]o[m]e [c]omp[l][e]te[l][y] in[e][b][r][i][a]ted, [t]o lose all [t]ouch with [c]ohe[r]en[c]y and [r]e[s]t[r][ai]nt, and to e[n]g[a]ge i[n] a [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] mi[s]gui[d]ed [c]onver[s][a]tion [p]ure[l][y] out of [a]b[u]n[d]an[c]e. The [F]irst [C]ause, [n]o [m]atter what [f]orm we g[i]ve [i]t, [n]o [m]atter how it[s] extensions [m]ay or [m]ay [n]ot [c]o[mm]uni[c]ate with u[s]---[i]s [i]f [n]othing el[s]e [s]uper[a]b[u]ndant.
Theories of the Western World (Larry Isosceles)
Total Echoes: 12,279
Total Syllables: 16,742
Aggregate Echo Quotient: .733 (Meter: >.667)
01--- 523:741 .706
[A]s a [m][a]tter of [f][a][c]t, I was just te[l]ling De[m]o as [w]e [w]al[k]ed up to your [f][l][a]t, I’ve [b]een [j]u[s]t a [t]ad [p][r]eo[cc]u[p]ied of [l]ate with a night I a[c]tua[l]ly [j]u[s]t [r]e[m]em[b]ered [t]o[d]ay, [f][r]om years ago a[c]tuall[y], [c]omp[l][e]te[l][y] [n]on-de[s][c]ript, entire[l][y] in[c]on[s]e[q]uential at [f]a[c]e va[l]ue, yet it was a [n]ight [th]at [n]one[th]e[l]e[ss], [n]ow [th]in[k]ing it [th][r]ough, is e[ss]entially [i]nd[i][c]at[i]ve of my t[r]ue [c]ha[r]a[c]ter. It was [a] n[i]ght, v[i][a] pure instin[c]t, [I] [a][l]lowed my true [c]o[l]ors to [sh]ow, and of [c]ourse I was a[sh]amed at [f]ir[s]t, who isn’t di[s]gu[s][t]ed at [f]ir[s]t [s]ight of their [t]rue [c]olors, but as the years h[a]ve [p][a]ssed I’ve [c]ome to the [c]o[n][c]lusion [th]at [th]ere’s a[c]tually no[th]ing a [p][r]io[r]i w[r]ong with my t[r]ue [c]o[l]ors---a[c]tua[l]l[y], if anything, it’s [q]uite the [c]o[n]t[r]a[r][y]. My t[r]ue [c]o[l]ors, of [c]ourse I [c]an’t change them, but [e]ven [i]f [I] [c][ou]ld [I] w[ou]ldn’t. Be[c]ause [e]ven though my t[r]ue [c]olors [r]e[q]uire a [p][r][e][r]e[q]u[i]s[i]te, a [p]erh[a][p]s un[a][pp]etizing [p][r][e][r]e[q]u[i]s[i]te, a [p][r][e][r]e[q]uisite that, ye[s], that I l[oa]the [c]ertain [p][e]o[p]le for n[o] r[ea]so[n]. [B]ut [e]ve[n] [th]ough [th]at may in f[a][c]t [b]e the [c]a[s]e, I [b]e[l]ieve it’[s] [a][c]tually [p]ro[p]er to [l][oa]the [c]ertai[n] [p][eo][p]le for a[b]so[l]ute[l][y] [n][o] r[ea]so[n], [w]ith [n][o] ju[s]tification [w]hat[s][o]ever, that h[a]ting [p][eo][p]le [s]ans [p]r[e]text [i]s [i]n [f]act entire[l][y] ne[c]e[ss]ar[y], and I may [e]ven [l][ea][p] [f]urther and [s]t[a]te outright [th]at [th][e]se [c]ertain [p][e]o[p]le, whom w[e] [l][oa]the s[a]ns [p]retext, may [a][c]tua[l]ly deserve th[i][s] [i]nten[s]e [l][oa]thing and un[p]rov[o][k]ed hatred, [b]ut let me [b]egin, [p]lease. [B][e]cause to [b][e]g[i]n w[i]th, [i]t was an era where I [f]ound my[s]el[f] [s][p]en[d]ing a[n] i[n]or[d]inate amount of [t]ime at [s][o]cial events that I [l][oa]thed---I [l][oa]thed b[o]th [c]on[t]emplating my future a[t]tendan[c]e of these [e]ve[n]t[s] a[n]d the[n] my a[c]tual a[t]t[e]nda[n][c]e of these [e]ve[n]t[s]. [P][eo][p]le, ul[t]imatel[y], have no [c]outh---to this day, [f]or exam[p]le, I o[f]ten [f][i]nd m[y][s]el[f] [p][r]esent at [s]ocial gathe[r]ings where a [q]u[o]te-un[q]u[o]te [v]egeta[b]le [p][l]ate, a[l]ong with a [v]egeta[b]le [d][i][p], [i]s [p]resen[t]ed as an hors [d]’oeuvre, and I’m [a][l]most [a][l]ways a [l]ittle [l]et [d]own by the qua[l]it[y] of the ce[l]er[y]. [A]t th[a]t [p]arti[c]u[l]ar [s]tage in m[y] [l][i][f]e, in [f]a[c]t, the e[r]a I’m [s][p]ea[k]ing of, [I]’d [r]e[c]on[c][i]led m[y][s]el[f] to the [f]a[c]t that [I] [h]ad [i]nt[r][i]ns[i][c]ally [h][i]gher [s]tandards than mo[s]t [w]hen it [c]ame to [c]e[l]ery, [c]u[c]umbers as [w]ell---[I] a[n]a[l][y]zed [p][r]odu[c]e with a[n] [a][c]uit[y], f[r]an[k][l][y], [m]o[s]t of [m]y [p]eers would never [a]chieve. Having [s]aid [th]at, to [th]i[s] day the majo[r]it[y] of ho[s]ts in our [c]ount[r][y] have [n]ext to [n]o [c]outh when it [c]omes to [s]erving [c]ele[r][y] or [c]u[c]umbers. [F]or[c]ed to [a]ttend a [s][o]-[c]alled [p][o][s]t wedding [b]runch ju[s]t a [f]ew months [p]r[i]or to the events [I]’m [a][b]out to re[l]ay, I was [a][pp]alled at the [q]u[a][l]ity of [c]u[c]um[b]e[r]s [s]e[r]ved---[a] [c]u[c]um[b]er, [a][b]ove [a]ll else, [sh]ould be refre[sh]ing. A [p]ie[c]e of [c]e[l]er[y], i[d]ea[ll][y], [i]s [s][i]m[i][l]ar to [s][i][pp][i]ng a fresh g[l]a[ss] of i[c]e water on a ze[s]ty [s]ummer [d]ay. The [s]our[c]e of thi[s] [r]e[g][r]ettable [d]e[g][r]a[d]ation in the [q]ua[l]it[y] of our [c]e[l]er[y] and [c]u[c]umbers un[d]oubted[l][y] [s]tems f[r]om Ame[r]i[c]a’s ove[r]re[l]ian[c]e on [d]ip.
02--- 570:752 .758
[D][i]p, [i]n ou[r] e[r]a, has [l]ite[r]a[ll][y] and figu[r]ative[l][y] [b]e[c]ome the hors [d]’oeuvre, it’s [b]e[c]ome [c]ultu[r]a[ll][y] a[cc]epta[b]le to utter[l][y] ig[n]ore the [q]ua[l]it[y] of the [c]e[l]e[r][y] and [c]u[c]um[b]ers, [t]wo of the m[o]st [r]ef[r]eshing yet deli[c]ate vegeta[b]les k[n][o]wn [t]o our [s]pe[c]ies, at [s]ocial gatherings [b]e[c]ause it’[s] [a][ss][u]med [c]on[s][u][m]ers’ [a]ttention will [b]e fo[c]u[s]ed [a]l[m][o][s]t [s][o]le[l][y] on the [d]i[p]. Yet it’[s] [p]re[c]i[s]e[l][y] the [d]i[p] that [n]egates the [n]ut[r][i]t[i]onal [b]enef[i]t[s] of the [c]e[l]e[r][y], as well as the [c]u[c]um[b]ers. Ameri[c]ans [n]o [l]onger [c]on[s]ume [v]egeta[b]les---they [c]on[s]ume [v]egeta[b]les with d[i][p]s and [s]au[c]es that o[b]l[i]terate all [p]o[ss][i][b]le [n]utr[i]t[i]onal [b]enef[i]ts of a ve[g]eta[b]le. These dip[s] and [s]au[c]es [a][n]nihi[l]ate the [i]nt[r][i]ns[i]ca[l]ly [r]ef[r][e]shing [e][ss][e]n[c]e[s] of our v[e]getables. Gu[e][s]ts att[e]nding th[e]se [p]arti[e]s could rel[ie]ve themselves all over th[e]se [q]u[o]te-un[q]u[o]te vegeta[b]le [p][l]ates and [n]ot miss a [b][ea]t [n]utr[i]t[i]ona[l]l[y]---they’d pro[b]a[b][l][y] [e]ven [f]ail to [n]ot[i][c]e a d[i][ff]e[r]en[c]e in ta[s]te, with the a[m][ou]nt of sour [c][r]eam [c]u[r]rentl[y] [f][ou]nd in the [m][e][d][i]an A[m]e[r]i[c]an [d]ip. [D]u[r]ing this e[r]a of [m][y] l[i]fe, al[m]o[s]t eve[r]y [w]eek I [w]ould [s][p]end [t]w[o] [t][o] [f]ive m[i]n[u]tes [i]n the [p]rodu[c]e [s][e][c]tion arduou[s][l][y] [s]e[l][e][c]ti[n]g on[l][y] the [f]ine[s]t [c][e][l]ery [s]tal[k]s and mo[s]t [c]on[c]rete [c]u[c]umbers, touching all the [c]u[c]um[b]ers [i]nd[i][s][c][r][i]m[i]nate[l][y], with no [r]egard for the [c]u[s]tomers who [i]nev[i]ta[b][l][y] would touch these [s]ame [c]u[c]um[b]ers a[f]ter [I]’d [f][i]na[l]l[y] [m]ade [m]y [s]e[l]e[c]tion---[b]e[c]ause, to [th]is [d][a]y, [th]ere’s nothing more [d]e[f][l][a]ting than a [s]tal[k] of [c]e[l]ery gone [f][l]at by mid-wee[k], yet there’s nothing more u[p][l]i[f]tin[g] than a [f]resh[l][y] cho[pp]ed [s]tal[k] of [c]e[l]er[y], and the [s]ame [c]an [b]e [s]aid [f]or [c]u[c]um[b]ers. Yet, as [s]o-[c]alled G[r][ee][k]-[A]me[r]i[c]ans, none of u[s] should b[e] [s]ur[p][r]ised at thi[s] [s]tate of [a][f]fairs, with a vegetable di[p] ma[s][k]ing the [r][e][f][r][e]shin[g] [e][ss][e]n[c]e of the g[e]nuine arti[c]le, [s]o to [s][p]ea[k]---and th[i][s] br[i]ngs [m]e to a [m]uch [l]arger point, a [m]ore [g][r]an[d]iose [i]ssue, [i][f] you’[ll] a[ll]ow me to [d]i[g][r]e[ss] just [s][l][i]ght[l]y [b][e][f]ore [I] [b][e]gin my [a]nec[d]ote, the [a]ne[c][d][o]te I’ve [a]dmittedl[y] [b]een o[b][s]e[ss]ing [o]ver for [w]ee[k]s now, [w]hich [w][i]ll [i]nevita[b][l][y], I [b]e[l][ie]ve, [b]e[c]ome the [c]rux of [m]y argu[m]ent here. [B]e[c]ause there’s [e]nd[l][e][ss] [d]i[s]cussion to[d]ay with regard to our [s]o-[c]alled world, our a[l]l[e]g[e]d [W][e][s]te[r]n [w]o[r]ld, but [i]t’s [i]m[p]e[r]ative we define our terms w[i]th [r][i]gor as o[pp]osed to [c]arele[ss]ne[ss]---be[c]ause it’s [t]oo often [th]at we [th]row [t]erms in[t]o [th]e e[th]er w[i][l]l[y]-n[i][l]l[y]. In short, it’s [e]n[t]ire[l][y] [p]ossible we’re confusing [e]x[t]en[si]o[n] with i[n]ter[p][r]e[t]a[ti]o[n] as it [r]e[l]ates to our [W]e[s]te[r]n [w]o[r]ld. There’s [e]nd[l][e][ss] tal[k] of this [W][e][s]te[r]n [w]o[r]ld, [b]ut let’[s] [b]e [s]pe[c]i[f]i[c], thi[s] [W]e[s]tern [w]orld [i]s, [i]n [f]a[c]t, [l][i]ttle more tha[n] a[n] Ang[l]o [w]orld, it’[s] [n]ot [s]im[p][l]y a [n]on[d]e[s][c]ri[p]t [W]e[s]te[r]n [w]o[r]ld, it’[s] al[s]o an [a][c]tual [A]ng[l]o world---our [c]ivi[l]ization, [s]o to [s]pea[k], is [n]omi[n]a[l]ly [c]on[s]i[d]ered We[s]tern, [n]omi[n]a[l]ly [c]onsidered G[r]ae[c][o]-[R][o]man, y[e]t th[e]re’s a [b]ar[b]a[r]ism at [p]lay here, the[r]e’s a n[e]fa[r]ious v[e]geta[b]le di[p] [b]u[r]ying the [g][e]nuine article here.
03--- 635:866 .733
In [a]ctu[a][l]ity, the [W]este[r]n [w]o[r]ld [i]s l[i]ttle [m]ore than a [m]isn[o]mer for the Ang[l][o] [w]orld, [w]h[i]ch [i]s [e]sse[n]tia[l]ly the Am[e]rica[n] [w]orld, [a]nd the [A]ng[l]o [w]orld, in [a][c]tu[a][l]it[y], is [n]ot [a]n ex[t]ension of G[r]ae[c][o]-[R][o]man [A]n[t]i[q]uit[y], [n][o], [i]t’s s[i]m[p]l[y] a[n] [i][n][t]er[p][r]e[t]ation of that world---and even [th]en [th]at in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation was a [p]urely [s]ub[s]equent in[t]er[p][r]e[t]atio[n], a[n] i[n][t]er[p][r]e[t]atio[n] i[n] [r]e[s][p]onse to a[n] i[n][t]er[p]re[t]ation. [B]e[c]ause the [p][r]imary in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation of [A]n[t]i[q]uity [c]ame from [C]onst[a]n[t]in[o][p]le [a]nd [A]n[t]i[o]ch [a]nd [A]lexan[d]ria, in the s[o]-[c]alled [B]yzantine world, and only then [d]id this [A]nglo world i[n][d]ulge i[n] a [s]ub[s]e[q]uent in[t]erp[r]e[t]ation of the G[r]ae[c][o]-[R][o]man [A]n[t][i][q]u[i]t[y], [b]ased on the [B]yzan[t][i]ne era’s in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation [b]ut al[s]o of [c]our[s]e [b]a[s]ed on their in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation of the [s]o-[c]alled [B]yzan[t]ine world. This sh[ou]l[d] be under[s]t[oo][d], [th]at [th]e [A]ng[l]o world, in a very t[a]n[g]i[b]le [s]en[s]e, [i]s [l][i]ttle more tha[n] a[n] e[l]a[b]orate ve[g]eta[b]le [d][i][p] [i]t[s]elf, a [s]u[b][s]equent [i]n[t]er[p]re[t]ation, and [i]t’s [p]erha[p][s] the m[o][s]t [p]erv[a]s[i]ve [i]ter[a]t[i]on of [s][o]-called v[e]getable [d]i[p] our [p]la[n]et has y[e]t to [s][e]e---be[n][e]ath it w[e] [d]i[s][c]over the genuine arti[c]le, the [p][r]ima[r]y in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation, [s]o to [s][p]ea[k]. [A]s for us, w[i][th][i]n [th][i][s] [A]nglo [w]orld [w]e re[m]ain [m]o[r]e o[r] [l]e[ss] g[l]o[ss]ed [o]ver, a [s]u[b]-o[p]ti[m]al [f]it [o]ver here and [s]u[b]-o[p]ti[m]al [f]it [o]ver there, as [D]i[a][m][a]n[d][a] [G]al[a]s a[p]tly [p]ut it: A[m]e[r]i[c]a [i]s f[i]xated on [m]ulti[c]ultu[r]alism yet [r]e[m]ains [r]e[m]iss with [r]e[g]ard to [M]i[dd]le [Ea][s]tern [c]ultures, wh[i]ch [i]n[c]lude [G]r[ee]k [c]ultures---[b]ut how [i]s th[i][s] po[s]s[i][b]le? Yet [w]e [sh]ould note, [w]e [sh]ould final[l]y [a]d[m]it to our[s]elves [th]at [th]e [m]odern [c]enter of the Ang[l]o world, [A][m]eri[c][a], for [a]ll of its [m]elting p[o]t [m]yth[o]logy, has [n]ever [a]ssi[m]ilated, [n]ot [q]uite, be[c]ause [i]n[s]tead [i]t’[s] [s][i]mp[l]y [a]nnihi[l]ated---in Ameri[c][a] we [l][o]ve d[i][s][c]u[ss]ing ethn[i][c][i]ties, [p]eo[p]le wear h[y]phens l[i][k]e [n]ame-tags, [b]ut all of th[e]se eth[n][i][c][i]ti[e]s are at [b]ottom fal[s]e eth[n][i][c][i]ties, ju[s]t as the [s]o-[c]alled modern Gree[k], the Helle[n]i[c] [b]a[b]oon, [i]s a f[i][c]t[i]onal eth[n][i][c][i]ty, all [o]f [o]ur [o]ther eth[n][i][c][i]ti[e]s are e[ss]ent[i]al[l][y] f[i]ct[i]onal eth[n][i][c][i]ti[e]s, they’re ethn[i][c][i]ties at [b]e[s]t as [s]i[m]u[l]a[c]ra, and, [s]u[b][s][e][q]uent[l][y], what’s in[e]vita[b][l][y] [t][r]ue [b]ut will [r]e[m]ain [p]er[p]etual[l][y] [u]n[t]ouched [u][p]on is [th]at [th]ere is no [r]eal [r]a[c]e or [e]thn[i][c][i]ty w[i]th[i]n [A]me[r]ic[a] with the [e]x[c]e[p]tion of the [A]ng[l]o. Eve[r]yone is [A]ng[l]o in [A]me[r]ic[a], th[i][s] [i]s obviou[s]. Eve[r]y [p]er[s]o[n] i[n] [A]me[r]i[c]a, i[n][s]o[f]ar as they’ve [a]do[p]ted [A]meri[c]an hy[ph]ena[ti]ons, is e[ss]en[ti]al[l]y Ang[l][o]---as [C]atho[l][i][c][i]sm [w]ashed [o]ver [th]e [th]i[r]d [w]o[r]ld, [th]e [th]i[r]d wo[r]ld be[c][a]me e[ss]entia[ll]y [A]ng[l]o, the Puritanism of North [A][m]eri[c][a] [m][i]xed w[i][th] [th]e [C]atho[l][i][c][i]sm of [S]outh [A][m]eri[c][a] and [r]esulted in a [m]i[l]ieu where [e]ve[r]yone is [e]ss[e]ntially Ang[l]o. M[a][g]ic [J][o]hn[s]on, [a]t [b][o]ttom, is e[ss]entia[ll]y Ang[l]o. [E]nd[l]e[ss] [e]thn[i][c][i]ties have [b]een [p]ro[p]er[l][y] [i]denti[f][i]ed, [s]y[s]te[m]ati[c]al[l][y] [a][ss][i][m][i][l][a]ted [i]nto th[i][s] [A]ng[l]o-A[m]eri[c]an [f]ramewor[k], and [s]ub[s]e[q]uent[l]y [a]nnihi[l]ated, and we [p]e[r]use their [c]oming-of-age [n]a[r]ratives, [p]enned in the [c]la[ss]i[c] [N]ew Yor[k]er [s]tyle, and we thin[k] to our[s]elves, “[W]ow, that’s [n]i[c]e, [w]hat a [n]i[c]e little [c]oming-of-age [s]tory, I [n]ever k[n]ew Viet[n]am was [s]o [n]i[c]e in Autumn---” when the rea[l]it[y] is th[e]se [p][e]o[p]le have b[ee]n ess[e]ntia[ll][y] annihi[l]ated.
04--- 618:845 .731
The [c]o[m]ing-of-age [n]a[r]rative of the Viet[n]a[m][e]se [i][mm][i]g[r]ant t[i][ck]les the [r][e][c]e[ss]es of our [s]oul, yet it ne[v]e[r] occu[r]s to u[s] [th]at [th]i[s] [V]iet[n]amese per[s]on, writing in the [c]la[ss]i[c] [N]ew Yor[k]er [s]tyle, [h]as bee[n] e[ss]enti[a][ll]y [a][n]ni[h]i[l]ated. We [m]arvel at the eth[n]i[c] tr[ai]ts of [c]o[m]ing-of-age [n]arratives penned in the [c]la[ss]i[c] [N]ew Yor[k]er [s]tyle, yet th[e]se [e]th[n][i][c][i]ti[e]s are [e]ntire[l][y] fi[c][ti]onal, they’ve [b]ee[n] [e][ss]e[n]ti[a][ll][y] [a][n]nihi[l]ated, just as we, the H[e][l]l[e][n]ic [b]a[b]oons, have [a]l[s]o [b]ee[n] e[s]se[n]ti[a][ll]y [a][n]nihi[l]ated. The Viet[n]a[m]ese-A[m]eri[c]an who penned your [f]avorite [c]o[m]ing-of-age story [i]s, [i][n] [f]a[c]t, e[n]tire[l]y Ang[l]o. The [s]o-[c]alled Or[th]odox, [th]e [l]a[s]t of [th]e [s]o-[c]alled [B]yzantines, re[m]ain [u]n[a][ss]i[m]i[l][a]ted and there[f]ore [u]n[a]nnihi[l][a]ted, [p]erha[p]s only [b]e[c]ause they’ve [c][l]ung to their meta[ph][y]s[i][c]al d[i]stin[c]tions---through [v]a[r]ying [c][r]u[s][a]des and o[cc]u[p][a]tions, [v]a[r]iou[s] [c]a[p]italis[m]s and [c]o[m]munis[m]s they’ve [c]lung to their [m]eta[ph][y]s[i][c]al d[i][s]t[i]n[c]tions, to the [m]eta[ph]ysi[c]al [f][r]amewor[k] of the [P]a[t][r]iar[ch] of [C]on[s]tan[t]i[n]o[p]le. In a[n]y [c]a[s]e, this Anglo world is [n]o extens[i]on of Ant[i][q]u[i]ty, it’s [n][o] [N]ew [R][o]me, [b]e[c]ause [i]ts [i]n[t]erp[r]e[t]ations have [i]nevita[b]ly [b]een filtered through the [s][o]-[c]alled [B]yzan[t][i]ne, th[r]ough the [S]e[c]ond [R][o]me of [C]on[s]tan[t][i]ne, [B]ut for the Ortho[d]ox, [C]h[r][i][s]t [s]ym[b]ol[i]zed the [t][r]ue, ve[r]if[i]ed immanen[c]e of [G]od, to [c]o[rr]e[s]pond with the t[r]an[s]cen[d]en[c]e of [G]od---ju[s]t as the [s][o]-[c]alled [S][o][c]rati[c] I[d]ea was at on[c]e tr[a]n[s]cen[d]e[n]t [a]nd immane[n]t, just [a]s Love [a]s [a]n I[d]ea was out of [r]each [i]n-[i]t[s]elf ([i]n [i]t[s] [t][r]an[s]cen[d]en[c]e), yet [i]n[t]e[r]ac[t]ive [i]n a [r]ela[t]ive [s]e[n][s]e ([i]n [i]ts [i]mma[n]e[n][c]e), God was [n]ow the [s]ame, [n]ot [t]ran[s]cen[d]e[n]t or i[m]mane[n]t, but i[n][s]tead [t]ran[s]cen[d]e[n]t and i[m]mane[n]t. God as a[n] E[ss]en[c]e was [u][n]kn[o]wa[b]le, [u][n]a[pp][r][oa]cha[b]le, and wh[o]lly t[r]an[s]cende[n][t], yet, th[r]ough Ch[r]i[s]t, God was [p][r]oven to [b][e] wholl[y] [i]mmanent, [i]n a[dd][i]t[i]on to [b]eing en[t]irely [t]ranscen[d]ent, [G]od’s [E]nergi[e]s were [E]nergi[e]s w[e] [c]ould a[pp][r]oach and [i]nte[r]a[c]t w[i]th, to [b]e[c][o]me [o]ne with [G]od, [e]ven [m]o[m]entari[l][y], was d[ee]med a [p]ossi[b]i[l]it[y]. Ch[r]i[s]t was b[r]illiantly [g][r]a[f]ted onto [c]entu[r]i[e]s of [G][r][e]ek thought in a [s]y[s]tem that [f]ound it[s] e[x]p[r]ession [f][r]om [A]le[x]and[r]ia to [A]n[t]i[o][c]h [t]o [C]on[s][t]an[t]in[o]ple, yet the [s]ub[s]e[q]uent Angl[o] in[t]er[p]re[t]ation, by [r]e[s]t[r]i[c]ting God and [P]erson [t]o the in[t]elle[c]t, the [c]on[c]e[p]tual [t]o the [t]ran[s]cend[e]nt, [e][s]sentia[l]ly ushered in the [s]e[c]u[l]ar a[th]eism [th]at’s [b]e[c]ome our [m]ono[c]ulture [p]ar ex[c]e[l]len[c]e. This [s]u[b][s]e[q]uent Ang[l]o in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation was [m]ar[k]ed[l]y [d]iffe[r]ent---[b]e[c]ause now to [b]e [t][r]anscen[d]e[n][t] and i[m]mane[n][t] was now [d]eemed [d]e[c]a[d]ent and o[r]ie[n]tal. The [s]o-called [B]yzan[t]ine i[n][t]er[p]re[t]ation e[n]v[i]s[i]oned a God wh[o], thr[ou]gh His [s]u[p]era[b]un[d]an[c]e, was [b][o]th wh[o]l[l][y] immane[n]t a[n]d en[t]ire[l][y] [t][r]anscen[d]e[n]t, whereas the Ang[l]o in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation viewed that in[t]er[p]re[t]ation as b[o]th wh[o][l]l[y] [d]eca[d]e[n]t a[n]d e[n][t]ire[l][y] o[r]iental, the Ang[l]o in[t]erp[r]e[t]ation, just as the He[b][r]ew [G]od [b][a]nished [A][d]am [a]nd Eve from the [K]ing[d]om of [G]od, [s]u[b][s]e[q]uently [b]anished [G]od from the [K]ing[d]om of M[a]n, to His e[t]ernal [t][r]an[s]cen[d]en[c]e. [N][o], the [s][o]-[c]alled [G][r]ee[k]s [n]ever [k]illed their [G]od be[c]ause they [n]ever [s]topped [m]e[r]ging with their [G]od. The [G]ree[k] world [n]ever chose to [k]ill their [G]od, they [n]ever [m]u[r]dered their [G]od in [c]old [b]lood [b]e[c]ause, in this [G]ree[k] [w]orld, [w][i]th[i]n th[i][s] [s][i][l]l[y] [B][y]zant[i]ne [m][i][l]ieu, to [k][i]ll their [G]od would [b]e a[k]in to [c]o[mm]itting [s]ui[c]ide.
05--- 522:715 .730
[W]hereas the Anglo [w]orld [d][i]vor[c]ed [i]t[s]el[f] [f]rom the Energies, became the tran[s]cen[d]ent world [p]ar ex[c]el[l]en[c]e, and [l][e][f]t it[s][e]l[f] no choi[c]e but to k[i]ll [i]t[s] God [r]uth[l]e[s]s[l][y] and ex[p]ed[i]t[i]ous[l][y]. The t[r]an[s]c[e]nd[e]nt world [p]ar ex[c][e][l]l[e]n[c]e alm[o][s]t i[p][s][o] fa[c]t[o] be[c]omes the [s]e[c]u[l]ar athei[s]t world [p]ar ex[c][e][l]l[e]n[c]e. T[r]an[s]c[e]n[d][e]n[c]e [d]ivor[c]ed [f][r]o[m] i[mm]anen[c]e is the p[r]i[m]a[r]y [f]or[m]u[l]a of the [s]ecu[l]ar. The [W]e[s]te[r]n [w]o[r]ld is the Ang[l]o [w]orld [w]h[i]ch [i]s nothing more than a [s]ub[s]equent in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation [r][a]ther th[a]n a [p][r]i[m]a[r]y in[t]er[p][r]e[t]ation. In A[m][e][r]i[c]a, [e]ve[r]yone is Anglo, Viet[n]a[m]ese i[mm]ig[r]ants w[r]ite [c]o[m]ing of age [s]to[r]ies that are [n]othing if [n]ot h[o]li[s]ti[c]al[l][y] [A]ng[l][o], tran[s]ce[n]de[n]t[l][y] [A]ng[l]o. [A]nd we [s]it, [p]ortrayed [a]s [a][b][s]urd[l]y He[l]le[n]i[c], [a]s Athenian [b]a[b]oons, yet of [c]our[s]e we have [p]erha[p]s that “[B]yzantine loo[k],” our mu[s][k] is [p]erha[p]s [B]yzan[t]ine, yet the [B]yzan[t]ine, we’re [t][o]ld, was wh[o]lly [d]e[c]a[d]e[n]t a[n]d e[n]tire[l]y o[r]ie[n]tal a[n]d n[o] [l]onger exists. The [A]f[r][o]-A[m]eri[c]an [M]an is the [A]ngl[o] [M]an, La[r]ry [B]ird [i]n add[i]t[i]on to [M]a[g]i[c] [J]ohn[s]on are [b]oth e[ss]entia[ll]y Ang[l]o, the Ita[l]ian-A[m]eri[c]an [M]an is the [A]ng[l]o [M]an, the G[r]ee[k]-A[m]e[r]i[c]an [M]an, des[p]ite [p]laying the [r]ole of [A]thenian [B]a[b]oon, is [a]l[s][o] [e][ss]entia[ll][y] Ang[l][o]. The [G]ree[k]s, u[l]timate[l][y], have [s]un[k] them[s]e[l]ves, [w]h[i]ch [i]s [w]hy they’re no [l]onger [e]ven [G]r[ee][k], w[e] [c]an’t [b][l]ame anyone more than our[s]elves, [w]e [w]ere [p][l]a[c]ed [i]n an [i]m[p]o[ss]i[b]le [p]osition [b]et[w][ee]n [Ea][s]t and [W]e[s]t, [a]nd [w][e] [a]cted [i]n [a]n [i]m[p]o[ss]i[b]le f[a]sh[i]on, [a]nd [n]ow we’re [n]o longer even our[s]elves. [B]ut how did [w]e get onto u[s] any[w]ay, the [G]reeks---[h]ave I [g]one over[b]oard [h]ere at all? [A]m I ex[a]ggerating [a]t all? [I]t’[s] de[f][i]n[i]te[l][y] [p]o[s]sible, yet I [f][ee]l com[p][l][e]te[l][y] a[pp][r]o[p][r]iate, I a[c]tua[ll][y] [f]eel [l]i[k]e, i[f] an[y]thing, I’m [b][e]ing too reserved, th[a]t i[f] anything I’m [a][c]tua[ll]y [l][a][ck]ing in h[y]per[b]o[l]e at the [m]o[m]ent. I feel [l][i][k]e, [r][i]ght now, [I]’m a[c]tual[l][y] b[e]ing too [k]ind, [th]at if any[th]ing I’m being a [t]ad [t]oo [r]eserved. I feel as [th][ou]gh [th]ere’s vi[t]ri[o]l that I [s][t]ill [o]we, that I [o]wn [c]on[s]i[d]era[b]le [d]ebt, and it’s all vit[r]i[o]l, [th]at [th]ere’s n[o] choi[c]e [b]ut to [p]ay it [b]a[ck] to the gene[r]al [p]o[p]ula[c]e of thi[s] [c]ountry. It’s [p]o[ss]i[b]le that I’m f[i]lled to the [b][r][i]m w[i]th [v][i]t[r]iol, it’s [p]o[ss]i[b]le that I [o]we all this [v]it[r]i[o]l to the gene[r]al [p]o[p]u[l]a[c]e. [I]t’s alm[o]st as [i]f I’m [l][ea]ving [l][oa]ds of vitr[i][o]l on the table. The Ang[l][o] world [l]e[c]tured us [th]at [th]e au[th]enti[c] Gree[k]s m[a]de [a][n]al love [t]o [t]ee[n][a]ge boys, and the[n] whe[n] G[r]ee[k]s [m]oved [p]a[s]t [p]e[n]et[r][a]ting high [s][c]hool [a]ged [m]e[n] i[n] the [r]ear-e[n]d, when they i[n][s]tead [s]u[b][s][c][r]i[b]ed to the metaphy[s]i[c]s of the [P]at[r]iar[c]h of [C]on[s]tantino[p]le, it was only [a]t th[a]t [p]oint that G[r]eek [c]ulture be[c][a]me [d]e[p][r][a]ved and [d]e[c]a[d]ent. Wholl[y] o[r][i]ental. Th[i]s [i]s what I’ve [b]een per[s]onal[l][y] taught [b]y the Ang[l][o] [s][o]-[c]alled [s][c]ho[l][a][s]ti[c]s---[a]nd th[a]t I [c]an tell you is [a]b[s][o][l]ute[l][y] no exaggeration.
06--- 528:719 .734
Only the Gree[k][s] would a[cc][e]pt two [s][e]ts of an[c][e][s]tors of [th]i[s] [s]ort [th]en [sh][r][u]g their [sh]oulders and [g]o [g]et d[r][u]n[k] at a [s]aloon. That’s what I [d][i]d. [I]t’[s] ju[s]t au[d]aciou[s], that’s what [i]t [i]s. [I]f no[th]ing el[s]e I re[s]pe[c]t [th]e au[d][a][c]it[y], be[c]ause I [a][c]tual[l][y] [h]ave the [h]ighe[s]t re[s]pe[c]t for the au[d]a[c]it[y] of the Ang[l]o world. Our an[c]e[s]tors have [s]pent hun[d][r]e[d]s of years in o[b][s]cure mountains, for[b]i[dd]en to [r]ead or w[r]ite, [w]h[i]le the ent[i]re Ang[l]o [w]orld has [s]pread th[i][s] [m][i][s]in[f]or[m][a]tio[n] about u[s], this [s][l]ander, this [c]hara[c]ter [a][ss][a][ss]in[a]tio[n], [s][o] it's n[o] won[d]er [p]e[d]o[ph]iles [r]un [r]am[p]ant in [e]ve[r]y [W][e][s]tern [p]olity---loo[k] who [c]om[p][r][i]se the [i][d]ols of the [W]e[s]t! [Th]e A[th]enian with [th]e [b]eauti[f]ul [b]oy[f][r]iends t[r]aversing pu[b]erty, as i[f] th[e]se were the onl[y] [G][r][ee][k]s, as if [th]ere were no o[th]er [G][r]ee[k] e[r]as, as i[f] the [a]l[ph]a[b]et [b]e[c]ame o[b]sol[e]te [a][f]ter [A]nti[q]uit[y]! [B]ut [I] d[i][g][r]es[s]. I[n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e, [b]efore I e[n][t]er i[n][t]o thi[s] whole a[n]e[c]dote I should [s][a]y thi[s]---n[a]mely, th[a]t I was [a]t [a] [r]e[s]tau[r]ant [a]c[r]o[s]s the [s]t[r]eet [f][r]om [m]y [a]part[m]ent [f]or a [s][m]all [g]athe[r]ing ju[s]t the other night, my [g]ood [f][r]iend's [c]ousi[n] was i[n] town, [a]nd she [a]nd her [f]ather [i][n]vited me to a[n] [i][n][f]ormal dinner [a][c][r]oss the [r]oad [f][r]om [m]y [a]part[m]ent, [s]o [I] [d]e[c][i][d]ed it would be a [l]ittle rude [f]or me not to go, con[s]i[d]ering I [l][i]ved w[i]th[i]n [s]p[i]tt[i]ng [d][i][s]tan[c]e of th[i][s] [r]e[s]tau[r]ant, [w][i]th[i]n [m][i]n[i][m]al [w]alking [d][i][s]tan[c]e, and had [n]othing el[s]e to [d]o. I e[ss]enti[a]lly [h]ad to g[o] but [a]l[s][o] [h]ad [n][o] issue with [a]tten[d]ing. [I]n [a][d]d[i]t[i]on, I [w]as [a][w]are the meal [w]ould in all [l]ike[l]ihood be [p]aid for, and [a]lthough I [d]i[d]n't [p]arti[c]u[l]ar[l]y thin[k] high[l]y of the [r]e[s]tau[r][a]nt [a][c]ro[ss] the [s]t[r]eet, I knew there was at [l][ea][s]t one [d][e][c]ent [m]eal, or [m]ayb[e] [e]ve[n] two [d][e]ce[n]t [m][ea][l]s, that I could or[d]er and [f][ee][l] re[l]ative[l][y] [s]at[i]ated. [P]er[s]o[n]al[l][y], I was a big [f]an of the [S][p]i[c][y] Mak[i] [P][l]atter, where you re[c][ei]ved eigh[t][ee]n [p][ie][c]e[s] of [t]u[n]a, [s]almon, and yel[l]ow[t]ail [s]ushi for ju[s]t [s]ix[t][ee]n dol[l]ars. It’s a great [m]eal, and be[c]ause of the e[c]o[n]o[m]i[c]al [p]ri[c]e-[p]oint you [d]on’t feel [l]i[k]e a [c]om[p][l]ete a[ss]hole or[d]e[r]ing it on [s]omeone el[s]e's tab. I[n] a[n]y [c]ase, we a[r]r[i]ve, m[y] f[r]iend and [I], [p]erh[a][p]s we're [a][c]tua[ll]y [l]overs, but I [d]on't want to [g]o in[t]o a [g][r]eat [d][ea]l of [d][e][t]ail about m[y] [p][r][i]vate [l][i]fe here, we [m]ight [e]ven [l][i]ve w[i]th [ea]ch other in [m]y a[p]art[m]ent, but I'[m] [n]ot going into that [n]ow, [w]e’re in [l]ove [w]ith [ea]ch o[th]er in a [w]ay [th]at ju[s]t [f][ee]ls [p]ro[f]ound, that’s [p]o[ss]i[b]le, [b]ut i[n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e we're [th]ere, at [th]e [r]e[s]tau[r]ant, whe[n] my [f][r]ie[n]d's [c]ousins [f][r]om out of town [a][rr]ive, and [a]l[m]ost i[mm][e][d][i]atel[y] the [c]on[v]er[s]ation [t]urns [t]o the m[u]ch [d]i[s][c][u][ss]ed [C]O[V]ID-Ninet[ee]n va[cc][i][n]e, and [b][e]ing wh[o]l[l][y] [s][o][b]er as well as extr[e]me[l][y] hungr[y] [I] de[c][i]de to have [n][o] part of it, I [d]on't me[n]tion a[n]ything a[b]out [n]onli[n]ear [d]i[s]t[r]i[b]utions, the i[n]he[r]e[n]t [d]i[s]hone[s]t[y] of [a]ll l[a]rge govern[m]ents over the cour[s]e of [h]u[m]an [h]i[s]tor[y].
07--- 546:721 .757
I ch[oo]se t[o] [r]e[f][r][ai]n [f][r]om m[e]ntioning [E]l[l]iot [A][b][r]ams [r]ec[ei]ving a [f]i[f]t[y] dol[l]ar [f]ine [f]or t[r][a][ff]i[ck]ing [c]r[a][ck] [c]o[c][ai]ne into eve[r]y [b]l[a][ck] [c]o[mm]u[n][i]ty [i]n A[m]er[i][c]a [i]n the [N]ineteen-[Ei]ghties, I ch[oo]se t[o] [r]e[f][r]ain [f][r]om [m]entio[n]ing a[n]y of this, as it wasn’t the [r][i]ght [t][i]me [t]o di[s][c]u[ss] [n]on[l]i[n]ea[r]it[ie]s a[n]d E[l]l[i]ot Ab[r]ams, thi[s] was my [c]on[c][l]usion at the time. I wasn’t [g]oing to [g]et [c]aught u[p] in the [n][a]ture of [p][r]o[b]a[b][i][l][i]ty [d][i]st[r][i][b]ut[i]ons and E[ll]iot [A][b][r][a]ms’ [f]i[f]ty [d]o[ll]ar [f]ine [f]or [s]e[ll]ing [l]arge [s]wathes of [c][r]ack [c]o[c]aine at the [b]ehe[s]t of the [f]ir[s]t [B]ush [a]dmini[s]tration [a]t th[a]t time. It would have [b]een un[c]outh, ill-[a]dvised, [a]s well [a]s [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] ina[pp][r][o][p][r][i]ate. But in [k]ee[p]ing [m]y [m]outh shut I felt just a [m][o][m]en[t]ary [t][i]nge of ag[i][t]ation, in h[ea]ring th[e]se o[p]inions I inve[t]e[r]atel[y] [d]i[s]ag[r][ee]d with, in [r]e[f][r]aining [f][r][o]m [u]tte[r]ing the [ph][r][a]ses [n]on[l]i[n]ear[i]ty [d]i[s]t[r]i[b]ut[i]ons and E[l]li[o]t [A][b][r]ams I [b]ec[a]me s[l]ight[l][y] [a]git[a]ted, the [o]n[l][y] [a]n[t]id[o]te [t]o my [a]gi[t][a]tion would [b]e to s[a]y the [w]ord [n]on[l]i[n]earity a[l]oud, [w]hich I had [n]o in[t]ention of doing. I couldn’t [b]ring my[s]elf to [s]ay the word [n]on[l]i[n]earit[y], [a]nd I h[a]d [a][b][s]o[l]utel[y] no intention of utte[r]ing the ph[r][a]se E[ll][i]ot [A][b][r]ams at thi[s] [r]e[s]tau[r]ant, [I] coul[d]n’t [d]o either without embar[r]a[ss]ing [m][y][s]elf, and [I] kn[ew] it. The f[a]ct of the [m][a]tter is whe[n] a[n] o[p][i]n[i]on I d[i][s]ag[r]ee w[i]th [i]s ex[p][r]e[ss]ed w[i]th[i]n [m]y gene[r]al [p][r]ox[i][m][i]ty, [a]nd I [a]ct s[o]cial[l][y] a[pp][r][o][p][r]iate[l][y] and [r]e[f][r]ain [f][r]om sha[r]in[g] my t[r]ue [f]ee[l]in[g]s on the [m]atter, then I o[f]ten [f]eel th[i]s [t][i]nge of [a]gi[t]ation, [a]s i[f] I was [p]ut on thi[s] Ea[r]th for the [s]ole [p]u[r][p]o[s]e of behaving ina[pp][r][o][p][r]iatel[y] and ex[p][r]e[ss]ing my hone[s]t o[p]inions, n[o] matter the co[s]t [s][o]ciall[y]. In[s]tead I [f]ound my[s]el[f] g[l]an[c]ing [i]nter[m][i]ttent[l][y] at [m]y [f]riend's older [c]ousin, ju[s]t shame[l]e[ss][l][y] [s][p]e[c]u[l][a]ting on his [r][a]cial m[a][k]eu[p]---which I h[a]te. I’ve [b]ee[n] on the [r]e[c]eiving e[n]d of thi[s] de[s][p]ica[b]le [b]ehavior, and I’m sure you've ex[p]e[r]i[e]n[c]ed [s][i]m[i]lar, and [I] [d]e[s][p][i]se [p]eo[p]le who ju[s]t shame[l]e[ss][l]y [s][p]e[c]u[l]ate as to [m]y r[a]cial [m][a][k]eu[p], I'm sure you [d]e[s]pise them j[u][s]t as m[u]ch, yet [s]itting a[c]ro[ss] [f][r]om thi[s] [d]i[s]tant [c]ousin of [m]y [f][r]iend, [m]y [l]over [p]erh[a][p][s], I [s][a]t in this [s]i[l]ent hy[p]o[c][r]i[s]y, I [s]at there and shame[l]e[ss][l][y], [c]ontinuou[s][l][y] [s][p]e[c]u[l]ated on his r[a]cial [m][a][k]eu[p] to [m]y[s]elf, going [s]o [f]ar as [t]o [t]a[k]e [s][p]e[c]i[f]ic [f]acial [f]eatures into a[cc]ount and [s][p]e[c]ulate on a [g]eo[g][r]a[ph]ic a[r]ea of o[r]i[g]in. It was [g][r]ote[s][q]ue. But that's un[f]ortunately what I [f]ound my[s]el[f] doing in [p]la[c]e of sharing my [s]in[c]ere o[p]inions on [n]onli[n]ear [p][r]o[b]a[b][i][l][i]ty [d][i][s]t[r][i][b]utions and E[l]liot A[b][r]ams [d]i[s]t[r]i[b]uting [c][r]a[ck] [c]o[c]aine to the [b][l]a[ck] [c]o[m]mu[n]iti[e]s of the U[n]ited [S]t[a]tes in the [N]inet[ee]n [Ei]ghti[e]s---but of [c]ourse [n]o one [c]an [m]ention [n]onli[n]ear di[s]t[r]i[b]utions or E[l]liot A[b][r]ams [s]e[l]ling [c][r]a[ck] anymore.
08--- 501:685 .731
Govern[m]ents have lied to u[s] al[m]o[s]t without pause [s]i[n][c]e the i[n]ventio[n] of the nation-[s]tate, in just [A][m]eri[c]a [a][l]one w[e]’ve [s][ee]n the [l]arge-[s][c]ale o[pp][r]ession of A[f][r]i[c]an-A[m]e[r]i[c]ans over the [c]our[s]e of [c]enturies, the [s]tate-[s]an[c]tioned poiso[n]i[n]gs of A[f][r]i[c]an-A[m]eri[c]an [c]o[mm]unities with [c][r]a[ck] [c]o[c]aine, of [l]ower [c][l]ass [C]au[c]asian [c]o[m]munities w[i]th [p][r]es[c][r][i][p]tion [p]ills, we have [p]o[p] [s]tars named [L]ittle Xanax, m[i][ll]ions of ch[i][l]dr[e]n [i]n thi[s] [c]ountry [f]anta[s]ize [a][b]out [a][b]using [p][r]e[s][c][r]i[p]tion nar[c]oti[c]s be[f]ore they go to [s][l]ee[p] at night and the [F][D][A], a [r]e[g]u[l]ator[y] [b]o[d][y] with [a]m[p]le [f]un[d]ing [f]or [r]e[g]ul[a]ting ju[s]t this [s]ort of [b]ehavior, [a][pp]arent[l]y thinks [n]othing of it. We have one [p]o[p] [s]tar [n]amed [L]ittle [X]anax and [z]ero [ph]arma[c][eu]ti[c]al e[x]e[c]utives wh[o]’ve been [p]ro[s]e[c][u]ted [f]or [p][r]od[u][c]ing this lu[r]id [s]tate of a[ff]airs, and th[a]t's just [s][c]r[a]tching the [s]ur[f]a[c]e in Ame[r]i[c]a, [c]on[f]ining our in[q]ui[r]y to a [s]ingle [s]ide of the Atlanti[c] we ha[v]en't e[v]en ment[i]oned the Tur[k][i][sh] o[cc]u[p]a[ti]on, the geno[c]ides of [P]ol [P]ot, Hit[l]er and the Na[ti]onal [S]o[ci]a[l]i[s]ts, the Gu[l]ag, the [f]a[m]ine of [M]ao, or the [p]re[p]on[d]e[r]an[c]e of [o]ther [o][cc]u[p]ations, [g]e[n]o[c]ides, [f]amines, and [g]e[n]e[r]al [d]ebau[c]he[r]y which have o[cc]urred [a]ll [a][c]ro[ss] the g[l]obe mo[r]e o[r] [l][e][ss] in[c][e][ss]ant[l]y---yet [n]ow the U[n]ited [S]t[a]tes govern[m]ent [i]nfor[m]s [i]t[s] [c][i]t[i]zens without a t[r][a][c]e of i[r]ony that a [f][a]st-t[r][a][ck]ed v[a][cc]ine is beyond [r]e[p][r]oach [f]or a[n][y] a[n]d eve[r][y]one, with no [l]ong-term [e]m[p]i[r]i[c]al [e]vi[d]en[c]e [a]vai[l]able, and i[f] we [q]u[e][s]tion [th]at [th]en we're [e][ss]ential[l]y [e]x[c]ommuni[c]ated [f]rom [d]e[c]ent [s]o[c]iety. We’ve [b]ecome [ch]a[r][l]atans [p]a[r] ex[c]el[l]en[c]e if we [d]are men[ti]on the [n]ature of [n]on[l]i[n]ear [p]ro[b]a[b]i[l]ity [d]i[s]tri[b]u[ti]ons, if we m[e]nt[i]on the [f][a][c]t th[a]t E[l]liot A[b]rams was [f]ined [f]i[f]ty do[l]lars [f]or se[l]ling [c][r]a[ck], if we utter the [ph][r][a]ses [n]on[l]i[n]ear [p]ro[b]a[b][i][l][i]ty [d][i]st[r][i][b]ution or E[l]liot A[b][r]ams was a [c][r]a[ck] [c]o[c][ai]ne [d]ea[l]er we’ve a[pp]a[r]ent[l][y] [b]e[c]ome [f]asci[s]ts in thi[s] [c]ount[r][y]. [S][o] I had [n][o] in[k][l]ing of the r[a]cial [m][a][k]eup of thi[s] [m]an [s]itting [s]o i[n]no[c]ent[l][y] a[c]ro[ss] from m[e], and eventual[l][y] [I] just [s]aid to m[y][s]elf---you’re [d]i[s][g]u[s]ting, th[i]s [i]s [g]ro[t]e[s][q]ue, [t]a[k]e out your [s][m]art[ph]one and [d]i[ck] a[r][o]und [o]n that, [f]or the [s]a[k]e of [C]h[r]i[s]t Him[s]el[f], ju[s]t [p]lease re[m]ove your [s][m]art[ph]one [f]rom your [p]o[ck]et thi[s] [s]e[c]ond. [S]o we order our [m]eals. [M]y [f][r]iend, who I [m]ay or [m]ay not [b]e in love with, who o[r][d]ers [r]ight [b]e[f]o[r]e [m][e], or[d]ers the [S][p]i[c][y] [M]a[k][i] [P]latter, [s]o we both [e]nd u[p] ordering the exa[c]t [s]ame [m]eal, the [S][p]i[c][y] [M]a[k][i] [P][l]atter, and I ju[s]t shot her a [l]oo[k], I [l]oo[k]ed at her [l]i[k]e Are you [k]idding me? [W]e [c]ould h[a]ve [a]t [l]ea[s]t [d]i[s][c]u[ss]ed thi[s] [b]e[f]o[r]e the [w]aitre[ss] a[s]ked [f]o[r] the or[d]ers, now we're or[d]ering the [s]ame ex[a][c]t meal [b][a][ck] to [b][a][ck].
09--- 483:668 .723
But [th]en I [th]ink to my[s][e]l[f] W[e]ll, i[f] sh[e] doesn’t [ea]t all eight[ee]n [p][ie][c]es, [w]hich sh[e] [w]on't, then I’ll at [l][ea][s]t have the o[p]tion to [s]nag a [s]ush[i] [p][ie][c]e or two if I’m not com[p][l][e]te[l]y [f]ull a[f]ter my eighteen. I [g]uess I [c]an [b]e a [b]it [g][l][u]ttonou[s] when it [c][o]mes to [s]ushi, [b]ut I al[s]o---in t[r]ue [G][r]eek Ortho[d]ox [f][a]shion---[t]end [t]o [f][a][s]t [f]or [s][i]gn[i][f][i][c]ant portions of the [d]ay, [s]o b[y] the t[i]me [d]inner [a][r]r[i]ves [I]’m [a]lways [p][r]e[p]ared to [s]tu[ff] my [f]a[c]e. I’ve [r][ea]d [m]o[d]ern [m]e[d][i][c][i]ne [i]s [b]egi[n]ning to [r][e]cog[n]ize value in thi[s] [f]a[s]t and [f][ea][s]t [r][e]gi[m]en of [ea]ting, [th]at [th]e [b]o[d][y] [p]erha[p]s [f]unc[ti]ons more e[ff]i[ci]entl[y] when it’[s] [d]e[p][r]ived [f]or a [p]e[r]iod of time. [B]ut i[n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e we [b]oth or[d]er the [S][p]i[c][y] Ma[k][i] [P]latter, and her [d][a]d, who’s [s][a]t [n]ext to [m]e, orders a shrimp [n]oo[d]le [d]ish th[a]t h[a]s [n]o a[pp]eal to [m]e, [n]ot that I [c]are, be[c]ause I h[a]d [n]o [p]l[a]ns on [sh]aring the meal with him, and when th[i][s] [sh][r][i]mp [n]oo[d]le [d][i]sh [i]s [s]erved h[i]s [i]n[i][ti]al [r]eac[ti]on is Wow, th[i][s] [i]s b[i]g---and [i]t [i]s, [i]t’s huge. The port[i]on [i]s [i]mmense. And the [n]oo[d]les, it shoul[d] [b]e [n]oted, are th[i]ck---[i]t would [b][e] n[ea]rl[y] im[p]o[ss]i[b]le for one [p]er[s]on to finish a [p]late of th[a]t [m][a]gnitu[d]e, [s]ave for the [m]or[b]i[d][l][y] o[b]e[s]e, in ju[s]t one [s]itting. S[o] i[m]m[e]d[i]ate[l][y], and [o]n[l][y] with the [b][e][s]t of int[e]ntions, [b]e[c]ause her [d]ad is one of the [m]o[s]t w[e]ll-i[n]t[e]ntioned i[n][d]ividuals you’ll ever [c]ome a[c]ros[s], her [d]ad [s]tarts to o[ff]er me [s]ome of h[i]s [d][i]sh, and [i]n[i]tial[l][y] I re[f]use not on[l][y] [b]e[c]ause I [f]ind the [d]ish una[pp]ea[l]ing but [p][r]ima[r]i[l][y] [b]e[c]ause I’m [ea]ting [m]y own [m][ea]l. But this [ch]anges even[tu]a[l]l[y]. [F][a][m]ished [a]s I [f]ound my[s]el[f], I obviou[s][l][y] [f]inished [m]y [m]eal not on[l][y] [b]e[f]ore [a]nyone [e]lse at the ta[b]le [b]ut [c]on[s]ide[r]a[b][l][y] [p][r]ior to [a]nyone [e]l[s]e at the ta[b]le [c][l]eaning their [p][l]ate---I’m [s]itting there with a [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] [c][l][ea]n [p][l]ate while [e]veryone [e]lse is [a]t [m]ost h[a]l[f]way [th][r]ough [th]eir [m]eal. And my [f][r]iend is [h]ardl[y] [ea]ting [h]er [M]a[k][i] Pl[a]tter [a]t all, instead she’s busy [m][u]n[ch]ing her [c][ou]sin’s General [Ts]o Shrim[p], yet her dad, of [c]ourse [m]eaning well and [n]oti[c]ing [m]y em[p]ty d[i]sh, for the [s]e[c]ond time a[s]ks i[f] I want [s]ome? [N][o], [n][o] [th]an[k] you, [I]’m [f]ull, [I] say, [n]ot [th]in[k]ing at all. Wi[th]out a [s]ingle [th]ought in my [s][k]u[ll] [I] [r]epl[y] that I'm full---y[e]t in [r][e]t[r]o[s]p[e][c]t what [e]l[s]e [c]ould I [s]ay? How [c]an y[ou] [r]e[f][u]se a bite of [s]omeone’s meal, e[s]pecial[l][y] on a [s]e[c]ond o[ff]er, without [s]aying you’re [f]ull? It's [p]ro[b]a[b][l][y] the on[l][y] a[cc]e[p]ta[b]le excu[s]e, [f]eigning [f]ull[n]ess, [b]ut [n]ow I’ve [p][l]aced mysel[f] [i]n a [b][i]t of an [i]m[b]r[o]g[l]i[o], [b]e[c]ause her dad thin[k]s I’m [f]ull, [b]ut I’m a[c]tually the [f]ur[th]e[s]t [p]o[ss]i[b]le [th]ing [f]rom [f]ull---[b]e[c]ause [s]ush[i] never [f][i]lls [y]ou. [Y]ou [f][i]nish a [p][l]ate of [s]ush[i] and the [f]ir[s]t [th][i]ng you [th][i]n[k] [i]s I [c]ould go [f]or a [l]ittle more [s]ush[i].
10--- 441:639 .690
"Eight[ee]n p[ie][c]es of [f][i]sh-[f][i]lled [s]ushi and I’m not [e]ven rem[o]te[l][y] [c][l][o]se to [f]ull. All my th[ou]ghts [r]ev[o]lve a[r]ound [c]on[s]u[m]ing [m]ore [s]ush[i], of which I [s][ee] [p][l]ent[y], [b]e[c]ause [m]y [c]om[p]anion, [m]y [l]over, is [b]are[l][y] even touching her [S][p]i[c][y] [M]a[k][i] [P][l]atter. [S]o now [I]’m [t]r[y]ing [t]o [d]ev[i]se a [m]etho[d] of [c][l]an[d]e[s]tine[l][y] [s]n[ea]king a few [p][ie][c]es of [s]aid [s]ush[i] into [m]y [m][ou]th with[ou]t [m]y [c]om[p][a]nion’s d[a]d [n]oticing, [n]ot that he would [c]are, but ju[s]t on [p]rin[c]i[p]le. I already inh[a]led [m]y [m]eal, [ei]ght[ee]n [p][ie][c]es of [f][i]sh-[f][i]lled [s]ushi, and now I’m [c]l[ai]ming, to my [f][r]iend’s [f]ather, that I’m [f]ull, but then [r]e[m]or[s]e[l]e[ss][l][y] [c]on[s][u]ming the [s][u]sh[i] [s]itting next to my [p][l]ate? That just wasn’t [a] [p]a[l]ata[b]le o[p]tion in [m][y] [m][i]nd at the t[i]me. I wanted to [a]void that [s]cenario if [p]o[ss]i[b]le. Yet as I'm [c]on[c]o[c]ting a [p][l]an to [s]urre[p]titiou[s][l][y] extra[c]t this foreign [s]ush[i] into [m]y [m]outh [m]y [f]riend’s [c]ousin [t]a[k]es her [f]or[k] and [s][t]arts eating her [s]ush[i]---po[t]entiall[y] my [s]ush[i]. I’m watching my [f]riend’s [f]ather struggle to [f][i]n[i]sh h[i]s [g]ar[g]antuan shrimp [l]o [m]ein on [m]y [l]e[f]t, then watching [m]y [f]riend’s [c]ousin [m]ethodi[c]a[l]ly [ea]t [ea]ch [l]e[f]tover [p][ie][c]e of this [S][p]i[c][y] [M]a[k][i] [P][l]atter on [m][y] r[i]ght. Then I [l]oo[k] [a][c][r]oss the t[a][b]le and [b]egin [sh][a]mele[ss][l][y] [r][a][ci]al[l][y] [s]pe[c]u[l][a]ting [a]gain, just [t]o [m]o[m]en[t]ari[l][y] get [m][y] [m][i]nd off this wh[o]le [S]pi[c][y] [M]ak[i]-[l][o] [m]ein imb[r][o]g[l]i[o]. As the [m]eal [c]on[c][l][u]ded there were tw[o] or th[r][ee] [s]ush[i] [p][ie][c]es [l]eft, my [c]om[p]anion says [H]ave one, and I shake my [h]ead, realizing the e[n]tire e[n][d]eavor, th[i]s m[i]ssion to obt[ai]n [m]ore [S][p]i[c][y] [M]ak[i], was [d]oomed to f[ai]lure. I con[s]idered a[s][k]ing her [t]o [t]a[k]e the [p]ie[c]es h[o]me, but n[o]---thi[s] urge for [m]ore [M]a[k]i [i]s [m][i][s]gu[i][d]ed, [I] thought, it’s already [d][oo]med t[o] f[ai]lure, it's t[oo] [l][a]te for that. The [S][p]i[c][y] Ma[k][i] [P][l]atter was de[l]icious, but [t]o [t]a[k]e h[o]me the [l]eft[o]ver sushi wasn’t a [p]a[l]atable o[p]tion [t]o me at the [t]ime. And a [f]unny thing o[cc]urred, I a[c]tua[l]ly [b]egan to [f]eel [f]ull as [e]veryone [e]lse [b]egan t[o] [c]on[c][l][u]de their [m]eals---[d]e[s][p]ite [r]e[m]aining hung[r][y] i[mm][e][d][i]ate[l][y] a[f]ter [f]inishing [m]y eight[ee]n [p][ie][c]es of [s]ush[i], b[y] the t[i]me [e]veryone [e]lse [c]on[c][l]u[d]e[d] their [d]inner I, somehow, no [l]onger felt hung[r]y, [d]e[s]pite eat[i]ng noth[i]ng [i][n] the [i][n]terim, for the above [s]aid [r]easons. But, i[n] a[ny] [c]a[s]e, onto thi[s] ane[c]d[o]te---[s][o] it was a few years ag[o] at this [p]oint, Ho[r]atio was [p]ro[b]a[b][l]y there, it was a mo[r]e o[r] [l]es[s] [n]onde[s]c[r]i[p]t [n]ight, abso[l]ute[l]y [n]othing of [n]ote was o[c]curring, and I thin[k] all of us were [a]t th[a]t [p]oint [q]uestioning [w]hy [w]e [w]ere [e]ven out, [w]hy [w]e [w]eren't at home s[l][e]e[p]ing [l]i[k]e young children.
11--- 469:700 .670
[W]e [w]ere at the [D][ea]n Hotel on [W]ashington St[r][ee]t in a [d]ar[k] [b]a[ck] [b]ar [c]alled the [M]ag[d]a[l][e][n]a [R]oom where [n]othing [m]uch of [n]ote was going on, [n]ear[l]y [n]othing of [n][o]te was ever g[o]ing on [w][i]th[i]n the [w]alls of this h[o]tel [b]ar, [n]ever [m]ind in the [b]a[c]k room, [w]hich [w]as d[i]m[l][y] [l][i]t i[n] a[n] [a]l[m]ost [a][b]r[a]sive w[a]y and usual[l][y] [a]t h[a]lf [c]ap[a][c]it[y] at [b]e[s]t. [B]ut [m]ay[b]e that’s what the [v]enue i[n]te[n][d]ed, [m][a]y[b]e the [m][ai]n goal of the [v]enue was a[b][r][a]s[i][v]e [i]te[r][a]tions of [d]im lighting [a]nd h[a]lf [c]ap[a][c]ities. I[n] a[n]y [c][a][s]e, I’m with a [f]ew [f][r]iends, Ho[r][a]tio m[a]y have been there, and [t]w[o] well-[t][o]-d[o] An[g]lo [g]irls are there, [a]nd one of us---not [m]e---a[tt]empts to [c]o-[m]in[g]le with the [t]wo [A]n[g]lo [g]irls, [a]nd a [c]onver[s]ation en[s]ues. One of our [f]riends is with[ou]t a d[ou]bt [ai]ming to [e][n]g[a]ge i[n] [c]on[s][e]ns[u]al [s][e]x[u]al [e][n][c]ounters with these girls in the near [f]uture, at [l]east if the [e][n][c]ounter goes [a][cc]or[d]ing to his [p][l]an, [h]owever, [h]is [p][l]an is [a][b]out to go un[e]x[p]e[c]te[d][l][y] [a]wry, things are in n[o] way [a][b]out to g[o] [a][cc]or[d]ing to his [p][l][a]n, [a]nd, in[a]dve[r]te[n]t[l][y], I’m a[b]out to ensu[r]e his [p][l]an is foiled [i][n] a[n] [i]rreve[r]si[b]le man[n]er. [N]ot in the [s][l]ighte[s]t are things goin[g] [a][cc]ordin[g] to his p[l]a[n], a[n]d I’m inadvertent[l][y] [a][b]out to [b][e] the [c]ause of the foi[l]in[g]. [I]nev[i]ta[b][l]y [b]oth girls [l][i]ve [i]n the [p][l]ush [p]art of the [c]ity, they don’t [h]ave [j]obs, or they [h]ave [j]obs they c[l][ea]r[l][y] re[c][ei]ved due to [s]tatu[s]es of [b][e]ing young and opu[l]ent, they [i]nev[i]ta[b][l]y [b]eg[i]n to d[i][s]cu[ss] the variou[s] [p]ro[p]erti[e]s their fami[l]i[e]s’ own, in [S]a[n] F[r]a[n][c]i[s]co I [b]e[l]ieve, [p]erha[p]s s[o]me [o]ther out[r]ageous[l][y] [o][p]u[l]ent are[a]s of the U[S], may[b][e] [e]ven over[s][ea]s. I [f]orget the [s][p]e[c]i[f]i[c] [l]o[c]ales, I a[c]tual[l]y [p]aid [l]ittle to no atte[n]tio[n] to a[n]ything [ei]ther of th[e]se An[g][l]o [g]irls said, there were a [f]ew [l]ocales whe[r]e thei[r] [f]athers’ owned [th]is [p][r]o[p]erty or [th]at [p][r]o[p]erty, [th]ey’d [s]u[mm]er here or [th]ey’d [s]u[mm]er [th]ere, but it was [a]ll [o]pu[l]ent i[n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e, [s]ome a[r]ea where [o]n[l]y the m[o][s]t eg[r]eg[i]ous d[i][ck]heads [l][i]ve. [I]t [d][i][d]n’t par[t]i[c]u[l]ar[l]y offend me, yet their [t]one was [c]on[d]e[s]cen[d]i[n]g i[n] a way that al[m]o[s]t [m]ade you be[l][ie]ve they v[ie]wed y[ou] as an [e]qual, [w]hich [i][n]furiated m[e]. [W]hen [p]eo[p]le [i][n]vete[r]ate[l][y] [b]e[l][ie]ve them[s]elves to [b][e] [s]u[p]e[r]ior, yet [s]till h[a]ve the au[d][a][c]ity to [c]on[d]e[s]cend as i[f] you’re almo[s]t e[q]uals, [i]t’[s] [i]n[f]uriating. [A]s it [s]o h[a]ppened, I’[d] been [s]tu[d]ying a[n] exte[n][d]ed [d]o[c]ume[n]tary on the inter[n]et at wor[k] th[a]t [a][f]ter[n]oon, it was a slow [a][f]ter[n]oon th[a]t [a][f]ter[n]oon, [r]egar[d]ing the m[a]ting habits of [d]ol[ph]ins, in [f]act this vi[d]eo went into g[r][ea]t [d]etail [r]egar[d]ing the [s][p]e[c]i[f]i[c] [m]e[c]hani[c]s of how [d]ol[ph]ins [p]er[f]orm [s]ex, and I [p][r]o[c]ee[d]e[d] to share thi[s] in[f]or[m]ation [r]egar[d]ing the [s][p]e[c]i[f]i[c] [m]e[c]hani[c]s of [d]ol[ph]in [s]exual inter[c]our[s]e with the g[r]oup.
12--- 520:719 .723
[A][pp]arently this was [a] bit of [a] faux [p]aus on my [p]art, D[e][m]o---it was [c][l]ear these young [f][e][m]ales, although i[nn]o[c]ent e[n]ou[gh], were ju[s]t of a [s]e[p]a[r]ate [c][l]a[ss], [a]nd [th]ey be[l]ieved [i]t, [a]nd [th]ey knew [i]t, [a]nd [th]ey had no [r]e[s][p]ect [f]or the w[e]ll v[e][r][i][f]ied int[e]ll[i]gence of dol[ph]ins and their [s]exual [m]ating [m]echanic[s]. It was [t][r][u]e [t][o] them [th]at [th]ey were [s]u[p]e[r]ior---their an[c]e[s]tors were having [p]ebble wars and [ea]t[i]ng m[e]d[i]um-[r]are [s]qui[rr]el, [w]hile our an[c]e[s]tors [w]ere w[r]iting ex[t]en[s]ive [c]o[mm]en[t]a[r]ies on [m]eta[ph][y]s[i][c]s and en[f]or[c]ing [c]o[m]p[l]e[x] [s]y[s]tems of [t]axation, [b]ut in our [c]u[r]rent mi[l]ieu they were [b]oth un[d]oubte[d][l][y] of [s]u[p]e[r]ior [s]to[ck] to [a]nyone [e]l[s]e in the [r]oom, e[s][p]ecial[l][y] [m]y[s]elf. That [m]uch [c]ould not be [d]i[s][p]uted, and I [d]on't [d]i[s][p][u]te it t[o] thi[s] [d]ay. Yet to [d]i[s][c]u[ss] the i[n]t[r]i[c]a[c]ies of [d]ol[ph]i[n] i[n]ter[c]our[s]e was, in their eyes, [s]omething [r]evoltin[g], [s]omething [f]or [l]a[ck] of a better word [c][l]a[ss][l]e[ss]. It was e[ss]entia[l]l[y] a [M]arxi[s]t ane[c][d][o]te, [n][o]ting [s][p]e[c]i[f]i[c]a[l]l[y] how [d]ol[ph]in [p][e][n]i[s] [p]e[n]etrates [d]ol[ph]in vag[i]na in the [M]ag[d]a[l][e][n]a [R]oom that [n]ight. I g[r]ew up i[n]un[d]ated with Ang[l][o]-Saxons, [D][e]m[o], and [I] k[n][o]w when [I]’m b[e]ing viewed [a]s [a]n Other, in fa[c]t I k[n]ow [i]t [i]n[s]t[i]n[c]t[i]ve[l][y], it’s [s]omething that e[ss]ential[l][y] [r][u]ns in my [b][l][oo]d, and this was a [p]arti[c]u[l]ar[l][y] eg[r][e]giou[s] [c]a[s]e. And it [b]e[c]ame [p]arti[c]u[l]ar[l][y] eg[r][e]gious [f]o[ll]owing [m]y [m]o[n]o[l]ogue i[ll]u[m]i[n]ating the [m]e[c]ha[n]i[c]s of dol[ph]i[n] i[n]ter[c]our[s]e. I [m][a]y have [m][a]de a [f]ew [s]ub[s]e[q]uent o[ff]-[c]olor [c]o[mm]ents on[c]e the [c]onver[s]ation was [c][l][ea]r[l][y] going [c]omp[l][e]te[l][y] [d]ownhill, on[c]e thi[s] [d]i[s][c]ussion was [c][l]ear[l][y] i[r]re[p]a[r]a[b]le. I [p][r]o[b]a[b][l][y] [r]aised my [v]oi[c]e to an ina[d][v]isa[b]le [d]e[c]i[b]el le[v]el. [B]ut i[n] a[n]y [c][a]se I [c][a]me to [d]e[s]pise these two i[nn]o[c]ent young fe[m]ales. And in [r]et[r][o][s][p]ect, if I’m [h][o]lding [m]y[s]el[f] to the [h]ighe[s]t [s]tandard of hone[s]ty, I de[s][p]ised them at [f]ir[s]t [s]ight. The [s]e[c]ond our [f][r]ie[n]d---Ho[r][a]tio [m][a]y have bee[n] there---[m][a]de the a[cq]u[ai]ntan[c]e of th[e]se two [f][e][m]ales I i[m]m[e][d][i]ate[l][y] [d]e[s]pised them. In[s]tinctive[l][y] I k[n]ew [th]e [th]r[ee] of us [c]ould [n]ever b[e] [c]ordial, th[a]t [p]erh[a][p]s the [s][a][ck]ing of [C]on[s]tan[t]i[n][o][p]le in [T]welve [O]h Four [s]till [d]ivi[d]e[d] us i[n] a[n] i[mm]utable [m]a[n]ner. I [b]e[l]ieve in the [p]er[p]etuating [c]ha[r]a[c]te[r]i[s]ti[c]s of [b][l]ood, [D]e[m]o, I [d]on’t [c]a[r]e what the [s]cienti[s]ts [s]ay. [S]pi[r]its are [a]l[w]ays [a]mong us and [w]here [b]etter to [b]ury [th]em[s]elves [th]an [w]ithin our [b]lood[s]t[r]eams? If the [s]pi[r]its of an[c]e[s]tors are [b]u[r]ied any[w]here [i]t’[s] [w][i]th[ou]t a d[ou]bt in our [b]lood[s]t[r]eams. If the tortured [s]ouls of our muti[l]ated an[c]e[s]tors are [b]u[r]ied any[w]here in the [w]orld [i]t’[s] [w][i]thin our [b][l]ood[s]t[r][ea]ms, D[e]mo. F[r]om the [s]eco[n]d I [s]aw these two in[n]o[c]ent, [d]e[c]ent-looking girls I [d]e[s]pised them, and I [n][e]ver qu[e]st[i]oned [i]t. [I]n[s]tin[c]tively I k[n][ew] [d]i[s][c]u[ss]ing [d]ol[ph]in [b]o[n]ers would [b]e a[b]ho[r]rent t[o] these in[n]o[c]ent young [f]emales, and I [r]elayed the a[n]e[c][d]ote without hesitation.
13--- 448:606 .739
The [s]e[c]ond their [f]a[c]es [f][i]lled w[i]th [d][i][s]gust [a]t my [a][n]e[c][d]ote I was [s][a]ti[a]ted. If they wal[k]ed [i]nto th[i][s] [r]oom [r]ight [n]ow I’[d] imm[e][d][i]atel[y] start to, yet again, [d]i[s][c]u[ss] the me[c]hani[c]s of [d]ol[ph][i][n] [i][n]ter[c]our[s]e. [D]ol[ph]ins are high[l]y i[n]te[ll]ige[n]t [m]a[mm]als---[w]hy shouldn't [w]e [l]earn, in-[d]epth, a[b]out their [m]ating ha[b]its? It s[ee]ms entire[l][y] [l]ogical to me, [e]ven now. Yet [w]e should be hone[s]t [w]ith our[s]elves, [w]e shouldn’t min[c]e [w]ords, [w]e shouldn't [c]o[w]er to euphe[m]ism, be[c]ause every[o]ne is Ang[l]o. [M][ay][b]e I haven’t [m][a]de that [a][b]undant[l][y] c[l]ear yet, [b]ut we’re [a]ll essentia[ll][y] Ang[l]o, we [c]ontain resi[d]ual amounts of the H[e]l[l][e]ni[c], we’re [d]i[r]e[c]t [d]e[s]ce[n][d]a[n]ts of the [s]o-[c]alled Byzantine, the [ρ]ωμιο[σ]ύν[η], but [e][ss]ential[l][y] [e]ve[r]yone is Ang[l][o], u[s] in[c][l]uded. You may [s]it here and [p][r][o][p][o]se that, [s]ay, [P]uert[o] [R]i[c]ans are [s]omehow [d]i[s]tin[c]t from the m[e][d][i]an [w]hite, [w]hen in a[c]tua[l]ity [P]uerto [R]i[c]ans are Ang[l]o. But [D]o[m][i][n][i][c]ans are [d][i]ffe[r]ent, [r]ight?---[n][o], [D]o[m][i][n][i][c]ans are [a][c]tua[l]ly [A]ng[l][o] [a]s well. [A][f][r][o]-[A][m]e[r]i[c]ans are in[c][r]e[d]ib[l][y] [A]ng[l][o], in [f]a[c]t. The [P]ortuguese are [d]e[f]inite[l][y] Ang[l]o, [th]ey’re [th]e a[p]ex of Ang[l]o, the [S][p]anish [a]re [a]l[s][o] [t][o]ta[ll]y Ang[l]o, and the I[t]alians are [a]s [A]ng[l]o [a]s anyone, Fi[l]i[p]i[n][o]s---we [c]an’t de[n]y their e[ss]entia[l] Ang[l]i[c]ism, be[c]ause we’re all e[ss]entia[ll][y] [e][q]ua[ll][y] Ang[l][o], wherever [C]atho[l]i[c]ism and [i]t[s] meta[ph][y]s[i]cs has [s]p[r]ead, the Ang[l]o [w]orld [w]ith[ou]t a d[ou]bt has [f]o[l]lowed, whe[r]ever the [s]ordid meta[ph][y]s[i][c]s of the [C][a]tho[l]i[c] church h[a]s [p][l][a]nted its [r]oots, [A]ng[l]i[c]ism has [p][r]o[l]i[f]e[r]ated unab[r]idged. [A]ng[l]os, [F][r]an[k]s, Ve[n]etia[n]s, Italians, the Ger[m]a[n]i[c] [t][r]ibes, we [sh]oul[d]n’t [l]ose [m]uch [s][l]eep in [d]i[s]tingu[i][sh][i]ng these [t]erms, [b]e[c]ause they're all [s]u[b][s][e][c]ts of each other [e][ss]en[ti]a[l]ly, we [sh]ouldn’t [l]ie to our[s]elves about [th]at. [Th]ese [t]erms [e][n][c]ompa[ss] the [e][n][t]ire world and for that r[ea]son [s]ub[s]e[q]uent[l][y] m[ea]n e[ss]entia[l]l[y] nothing. We [a]ll [a][tt]empt [t]o quar[r]y g[r]ou[p]s of [p]eo[p]le off by the [t][i]nt of their s[k][i]n, the sha[p]es of their eyes, the [c]on[t]ours of their [n]oses, [th]e [th][i][ck][n]e[ss] of their [l][i]p[s], when the [r]ea[l]it[y] is [e]ve[r]yone is [e]ssential[l][y] [A]ng[l][o]. Mi[c]hael [J]or[d]an [i]s [i]n[c]re[d]i[b][l][y] [A]ng[l][o]. As are [L]arry [B]ird and Sha[q][ui][ll]e O'N[ea][l]. [C]ait[l]yn [J]e[n]ner is [n]oth[i]ng [i]f [n]ot [A]ng[l]o, [a]nd the [K]ard[a]shians are the [s]p[i]tt[i]ng [i]m[a]ge of [A]ng[l][i][c][i]sm. The world [i]s [i]n[c]re[d]i[b][l][y] [c]omp[l]ex, [b]ut at times it [c]an [b]e [d]ivi[d]ed [e]ven[l][y] in[t][o] [t]w[o]---the Ang[l][o] world and the [s][o]-[c]alled Gree[k] [w]orld, [w]hich n[o] [l]onger exi[s]ts.
14--- 448:651 .688
The world [i]s [i]n[c]redi[b][l][y] [c]om[p][l]ex, [b]ut at [c]ertain times it [c]an [b][e] easi[l][y] [s][p][l][i]t [d]own the m[i][dd]le, at [t]imes the world re[d][u][c]es [t][o] e[ss]ential[l][y] [t]w[o] [d]i[m]ensions, in [s]ome [w]ays the [w]orld on[l][y] exi[s]ts [t]wo [d]i[m]ensional[l][y], the [s][c]hi[sm] be[t][w]een the [C]atho[l]i[c]i[sm] that over[t]oo[k] the [w]orld and the Orthodox[y] that [e]ventual[l][y] [b]e[c]ame [m]o[r]e o[r] [l][e]ss [e]xtinguished, [m]ay[b]e that's one in[s]tan[c]e of [b][i]nar[y] [s][i]m[p]l[i][c][i]t[y], the [i]de[a] of [a] God who w[a]nts to hear your [p]ett[y] [s]ins, who [w]ants to [s][p]eak [w]ith you and have [s]ome ty[p]e of [r]e[l]a[ti]on[sh]i[p]. A [p]er[s]onal [r]e[l]a[ti]on[sh][i][p] w[i]th God---it’[s] the mo[s]t ab[s]urd thing. It’[s] e[ss]ential[l][y] [a]th[e]ism. There's on[l][y] one end-g[a]me to be[l]ieving the [a][ll]eged [C]re[a]tor of the Univer[s]e wants to [h]ear [a][b]out [h]ow you [s]to[l]e a [b]ag of [L]ays chip[s] from your [U]ni[v]er[s]ity [c]on[v]enien[c]e [s]tore as an [ei]ghteen year old---the on[l][y] end-g[a]me to that [s]ort of meta[ph][y]s[i]cs [i]s [a]theism. It’[s] r[u]th[l]e[ss][l][y] [d][ua][l]i[s]t [b]ut al[s]o [d]e[l]ightful[l][y] athei[s]t. I[f] y[ou] tr[u]l[y] [b]e[l][ie]ve God [w][i]shes to [s]peak [w][i]th [y]ou about the [y]oung man [y]ou [v][i]c[i]ous[l][y] threatened with [v]io[l]en[c]e [w]hen [y]ou [w]ere on[l][y] ninet[ee]n [y]ears old th[e]n [y]ou’re [e][ss]ential[l][y] an ath[ei][s]t. That’[s] how we [c]ould be[s]t de[s][c][r]ibe it. An idea [th]at [th]e ex[p]e[r]ien[c]e of God is [s]umma[r]ized verbal[l][y], [a]nd th[a]t all [s][p]i[r]itual ex[p]e[r]ien[c]e mu[s]t [d]efer to a[n] i[n]tel[l]ectual un[d]er[s]tan[d]ing of it---we're all Ang[l]o now. Of [c]our[s]e I [d]e[s]pised th[o]se two i[nn]o[c]e[n]t An[g][l][o] [g]irls, be[c]ause [I] [s]aw [m][y][s]elf in them---in [s]o [m]any ways I've [b]e[c]ome a[n] i[nn]o[c]ent An[g][l]o [g]irl ju[s]t [b]y d[i]nt of [l][i]v[i]ng [i]n the world [i]n a [c]on[t][i]nuous fashion. Wh[y] haven’t [I] re[t]ired [t]o an o[b][s][c]ure mountain [s]omewhere, to [b]e[c]o[m]e ρωμιο[σ]ύνη again? [B]ut that’s wh[y] [I] have no [q]ualms a[b]out de[s][p]ising [c]ertain [p][eo][p]le for no [p]arti[c]u[l]ar r[ea]son---[b]e[c]ause, at [b]ottom, we’re all essentia[ll]y Ang[l]o. Yet, if we’re [b]eing hone[s]t with our[s]elves, it’[s] [o]n[l][y] the h[o]me[l]ess who t[r]u[l][y] [r]ecognize the absur[d]ity of our a[ll]ege[d] [i]n[d][i]v[i]dua[l]ism---a [p]oor guy [s][l][ee][p]s in the [s]tr[ee]t, [a]nd we [a]ct [a]s if he [m]u[r]de[r]ed a [m]an. [S][o]me[o]ne falls on hard times, [b]eg[i]ns [d][r][i]nk[i]ng heavi[l][y], p[r]o[b]a[b][l][y] [d]oes a [d][e]cent amount of [d][r]ugs, [h]e [l]oses [h]is job, [h]is [h]ome, [h]is wife [l]eaves [h]im, [h]e’s [r]e[d]u[c]ed to [b]egging [p]eo[p]le on [s]t[r]eet [c]orners for [d]o[l]lar [b]ills and [s][l]eeping in a[l]ley[w]ays, and [w]e [a][c]t [a]s i[f] [h]is [h]ardshi[p] is a[n] i[n][c]onvenien[c]e [f]or u[s]---we’re o[ff]ended at his [p]overty. I’ve ex[p]erien[c]ed [m]ore [m]ali[c]e [d]i[r]e[c]ted at bums in the [p]a[s]t [d]e[c]ade tha[n] a[n]y [p][r][e]v[i]ous [d]e[c]ade I [c]an [r]e[c]all, the mali[c]e toward bums [s][ee]ms to b[e] in[c][r][ea][s]ing in this [c]ountry [a]t [a]n alm[o]st exp[o]nential [r]ate.
15--- 553:720 .768
They [v]iew it as a [s]e[v]ere aff[r]ont to [th]eir [l]i[b]erty [th]at a [b]um---who [s][l][ee][p]s in a[l]l[ey]s and [r]emains [p]ar[k]ed e[ss]ential[l][y] at [d]eath’s [d]oor [d]ay and night---should a[s][k] them for [s][p]are change. Our [s]o[c]iet[y] ab[j]ect[l][y] fails [p]eo[p]le, and [p]eo[p]le [w]ith a[l]leged moral [s]tanding [w]ithin our [s]o[c]iet[y] can hard[l][y] [b][e] [b]othered to [e]ven [w]itne[ss] a [b]um, to gaze at a [b]um [f]or a [b][r]ie[f] pe[r]iod of time, i[f] they’re [f]or[c]ed to [e]ven [m]i[n]i[m]al[l][y] i[n]te[r][a][c]t with a [b]um they [v]iew it [a]s a [s]ort of [s][a][c][r]i[l]ege. [V]iewing a [p]er[s]on [s]ans a [d]omi[c]ile is [c]on[s]i[d]ered an aff[r]ont to good [t]a[s]te. [B]ut who wouldn't [t]os[s] a [c]ou[p]le ex[t]ra [b]a[ck] if they [n][o] longer [h]ad a [h][o]me? There’s [n][o] doubt that [t]o [s]ome ex[t]ent we---all of u[s]---have failed th[e]se [p][eo][p]le in [s]ome way that’s [p]ro[b]a[b]l[y] mate[r][i]al. It’[s] one thing to [b]e [d][ow]n and [ou]t---[b]ut to [b]e on the [s]t[r]eet [d][r]in[k]ing a hal[f]-[f]illed [C][o][c][a]-[C][o][l][a] [b]ottle [f][i]lled w[i]th [i][l]l[i][c][i]t [s]u[b][s]tan[c]es, a[s]king [s]t[r]angers for mon[ey], [c][l]ear[l][y] on[l][y] partia[ll][y] a[w]a[r]e of [w]he[r]e you are, that [sh]ould, [f][r]an[k][l][y], be [sh]ame[f]ul [f]or all of us. Any[o]ne [c]an be[c][o]me a [c][r][a][ck] [a]ddi[c]t. [I]f the h[i][s]to[r]y of [c][r]a[ck] in this [c]ount[r]y has taught u[s] [a]nything it's that [a]ny[o]ne [c]an be[c][o]me a [c][r]a[ck]head. We’re all [c]a[p]a[b]le of [b]e[c]oming [c][r]a[ck]heads, given the a[pp][r]o[p][r]iate [c]ir[c]um[s]tan[c]es. The whites of [A][m]e[r]i[c]a [l][a]ughed [a]t the b[l][a][ck]s of [A][m]e[r]i[c]a du[r]ing the [c][r][a][ck] e[r]a, as the U[n]ited States govern[m]ent [p]um[p]ed [c][r][a][ck] into [b][l][a][ck] [n]eigh[b]orhoods, on[l]y to, [d]e[c]a[d]es [l]ater, f[i]nd ent[i]re [l]ower-[c][l]a[s]s white [c]o[m]mu[n]it[ie]s [t]urned in[t]o jun[k][ie]s, [b]a[ck]ed [b]y the U[n]ited [S]tates govern[m]ent, [b]a[ck]ed [b]y the phar[m]a[c]euti[c]al [c]ompanies, who [i]nd[i][s][c][r][i][m][i][n]ate[l]y to[ss]ed he[r]oin e[q]uiva[l]ents at any [l]ower-[c][l]a[ss] [w]hite [w]ith a [s]p[r]ained an[k]le that [w]ent [t]o their ph[y]s[i]c[i]an. A[n] e[n][t]ire ge[n]e[r]ation of white junkies e[m]erged s[ee][m]ing[l][y] overn[i]gh[t], the [l]aughter of wh[i][t]es [c][a][ck][l]ing at [c][r][a][ck] [c]o[c]aine un[d]oubted[l][y] [r]esoun[d][i]ng [i]n the [b][a][ck]g[r]ound. Yet just as the [b][l]a[ck] [p]o[p]u[l]ation of Ame[r]i[c]a e[ss]ential[l]y had no choi[c]e [b]ut to [b]e[c]ome [b][l][a][ck] [c][r][a][ck]heads, the white [p]o[p]u[l]ation of A[m]eri[c]a has si[m]i[l]ar[l][y] invo[l]un[t]ari[l][y] [t]ran[s][f]ormed in[t]o white jun[k]ies. [Ph]arma[c]euti[c]al [c]om[p]an[ie]s have a[t]tained [m]ul[t][i]-billion dol[l]ar [m]ar[k]et [c]a[p]s al[m]o[s]t ex[c][l]usive[l]y by [t]urning [p]oor [w]h[i]tes in[t]o [w]h[i]te jun[k]ies. Yet no [o]ne [w]ants to [d]eal [w]ith [w]h[i]te jun[k]ies [w]h[i]le they’re [d]rin[k]ing [w][i]ne [a]nd h[a]ving [a]p[p]e[t]izers. The [s]e[r]ve[r]s and the [c]u[s][t]ome[r]s [c]onve[r][s]e about what [s]te[p]s the [c]ity should [t]a[k]e [t]o [c]oun[t]e[r][a][c]t the white jun[k]ies and the b[l][a][ck] [c][r][a][ck]heads who invade the [l][i]nes of s[i]ght of [p]eo[p]le who've [d][r]iven tens of miles to [s][t]u[ff] their [f]a[c]es with [c]a[l]a[m]a[r]i and [m]ozza[r]e[ll]a [s][t]i[ck]s and ja[l]a[p]eno [p]o[pp]ers, to [d][r]ink [c][r]aft beers and [s]u[ck] [d]own wine [s][p][r]itzers. Th[e]se [p][eo][p]le just [c]an’t get enou[gh] t[r][a]ns [f][a]t, and they hate [b]ums. Th[e]se [p][e]o[p]le [s][p]end hours a day exam[i]n[i]ng the [i]nt[r]i[c]a[c]ies of [c][r]aft [b]eer [b]ut [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y] [l]a[ck] the teme[r]it[y] to [e]ven [s][p][ea][k] with a [b]um.
16--- 516:676 .763
It never occurs to any of th[e]se [p][eo][p]le [th]at [th]eir own [l]atent ma[l][i][c]e [i]s [d]i[r]ect[l]y [r]e[s]pon[s]ible [f]or the [d]i[l]a[p]i[d][a]ted [s]t[a]te of their [f]el[l]ow [c][i]t[i]zens, [th]at [th]eir [c]om[p][l][i][c][i]t[y], their myo[p]i[c] and en[d]u[r]ing i[d]io[c][y] has [d]ire[c]t[l][y] [r]esulted in a [s]tate that’s shame[l]e[ss][l][y] [p][r]o[d]u[c]ed white jun[k]ies [a]nd b[l][a][ck] [c][r][a][ck]heads at a[l]arming [r]ates. It’s a shame [th]at [th]e c[i]ty [i]sn't [d]oing more, th[e]se [p][eo][p]le [s][ay] without a [t][r][a][c]e of i[r]ony, and [th]en [th]ey [d]i[s][c]u[ss] the [t]ange[r]ine a[f]ter[t]a[s]te in an over[p][r]i[c]ed [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer. Do you [t]aste [t]ange[r]ine at all?---No, I was getting [a] [b]it of [a] [B]artlett [p]ear a[f]ter[t]a[s]te! The [p]eo[p]le who [d][r]ink c[r]a[f]t [b]eer, it [s][ee][m]s to [m][e], [d]e[s][p]ite their a[d]van[t]ageou[s] and [c]al[c]u[l]ated [p]oses of [l]ibe[r]a[l]ism, are the [m]o[s]t una[p]o[l]ogeti[c]a[ll]y [c]a[p]ita[l]i[s]t [c][r][i][m][i]nals we have [i]n th[i][s] [c]ount[r]y. I’ve never heard a [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer enthusia[s]t a[p]o[l]ogize [f]or the idio[c]y of his [c]al[c]u[l]ated [l]i[b]eral [p]oses. The [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer d[r]in[k]ers instead m[ai]nt[ai]n a t[r]ans[p]a[r]ent [p]ose of [b]enign [l]i[b]e[r]a[l]ism, y[e]t [s][p][e]nd all of their [t][i]me [t][r][y]ing [t]o de[t]e[c]t the [s][l]ighte[s]t [t][r]a[c]e of Bart[l]ett [p]ear [i]n [a] [C]o[c]onut [I]ndi[a] [P][a]le [A]le---as o[pp]osed [t]o [e]ve[n] [a][t]tem[p]ting to [h]el[p] any of their fellow [h]uman b[e]i[n]gs. Th[e]se [p][eo][p]le who su[pp]ort [c][r]aft [b]eer ch[oo]se t[o] [b]uy [b][r]ands that a[l]l[e]g[e][d][l]y [d]o[n]ate to Good [C]auses, they [p][o][s]t to [s][o]cial [p][l]atforms to make [p]eo[p]le they d[o]n't k[n][ow] aware [th]at [th]ey [b]uy The [S][o]cially Re[s][p]on[s]i[b]le [B]eers, k[n][o]wing [e]ntire[l][y] well that all of these d[o][n]ations are [e][s]sentia[ll][y] cri[m]i[n]al, that [n][o]ne of thi[s] [m][o][n]ey ever [r][ea]ches the [p][eo][p]le it [n][ee]ds to [r][ea]ch, wh[i]ch [i]s [r]ea[d]ily a[p]pa[r]ent, [b]e[c]ause when they [s]it [d]own to or[d]er [s]aid [c][r]aft [b]eer all they [s]ee are [b]ums. [O]nly a [c][r]a[f]t beer d[r]in[k]er would [c]on[c][l]ude the [m][o]st e[ff]icient way of [h][e]lping [h]is [f][e][l]low [h]u[m]an [b][e]ing is [b]uying [m]ore [c][r]a[f]t [b][ee]r. The [r]ea[l]ity is [n]one of us k[n][o]w [w]hat t[o] d[o] [w]ith [b]ums, [w]e’re [p][r]ivy to [n][o] [b]um [s]o[l]utions, [n][o] [s]o[l]ution to our [b]um [p][r]o[b][l]ems, yet we k[n]ow all of these [b]ums are e[ss]entia[ll]y Ang[l]o. The white jun[k]ie and [b][l][a][ck] [c]r[a][ck]head are [b][o]th at [b]ottom entire[l]y Ang[l][o]. We k[n][o]w how to [p][r]o[d][u]ce [b][u]ms, [b][u]t we have [n][o] i[d]ea [w]hat t[o] [d][o] [w]ith these [b][u]ms [o]nce [w]e've [p][r]o[d]uced them. We [p][r]o[d]u[c]e [b]ums shame[l]e[ss][l][y], and then even more [sh]ame[l]e[ss][l][y] w[e] [sh][u]n th[e]se [b][u]ms from a[cc]epta[b]le [s]o[c]iety. Yo[u]'ll never meet [a] [p]er[s]on at [a] [r]estau[r]ant d[ow]nt[ow]n who [u]sed to [b]e a [b]um. It's im[p]o[ss]i[b]le for [b]ums to [r]e-en[t]er in[t]o [s]o[c]iety, there's a [w]all, an in[s]urmounta[b]le [w]all that’s [c]on[s]t[r]u[c]ted a[r]ound eve[r][y] [b][u]m [i]n th[i]s [c][ou]nt[r][y], betw[ee]n the st[r][ee]ts of a [d][ow]nt[ow]n and the [r]estau[r]ants of a [d][ow]nt[ow]n. A [r]estau[r]ant-[g]oer [c]an [b]e[c]o[m]e a [b][u]m, [b][u]t a [b][u]m will never a[g]ain [b]e[c]ome a [r]estau[r]ant-[g]oer.
17--- 500:689 .726
The harsh rea[l]ity is [th]at [th]ere’s [l]ittle we can [d]o [f]or our [f]e[ll]ow [c][i]t[i]zens who’ve reached [s]uch [d]i[l]a[p]i[d][a]ted [s]t[a]tes more [th]an [s]im[p][l]y talking to [th]em, and th[i]s [i]s [s]omething anyone who's [b]een in a [d]i[l]a[p]i[d][a]ted [s]t[a]te knows to [b]e [p][r]o[f]ound[l]y [t][r]ue. The e[n][t]ire i[n]du[s]t[r]y of [s]t[r]i[pp]ers and w[h]ores, in [f]act, should [b]e [r]e[h]a[b]i[l]it[a]ted [b][a]sed on this [p]oint a[l][o]ne, because n[o] one in our [s]o[c]iety gives the [d]i[l]a[p]i[d][a]ted [p]er[s]on more [t]ime of [d][ay] [th]an [th]e exo[t]ic [d]an[c]er. It's un[d]oubte[d][l]y true [th]at, [th]i[s] [c]e[n]tur[y], the exoti[c] [d]an[c]ing [c]om[m]u[n]it[y] has [d]one [m]ore for the [d][i]la[p]i[d]ated [p]er[s]on [c]o[m]mu[n]it[y] than the [C]atho[l]i[c] [ch]ur[ch] [c]o[m]mu[n]it[y]. Be[c]ause [s]tri[pp]ers and whores [i]nnate[l]y g[i]ve the [d]i[l]a[p]i[d][a]ted [p]er[s]on the time of [d][ay], any [s]tri[pp]er worth her [s]alt [i]n[s]t[i]n[c]t[i]ve[l]y kn[ow]s how to [s][p]ea[k] to the [d]i[l]a[p]i[d]ated [s][ou]l, the [d]i[l]a[p]i[d]ated [p]er[s]on ju[s]t needs [s]omeone to [l]i[s]ten to a [s]ob [s]tory for a [s]e[c]ond of time, [f]or [s]omeone to [c]are [f]or [a] [f][r]a[c]tio[n] of a[n] iot[a] of their day, to p[r]e[t]end [t]o [c]are in a way that's not g[r]oss[l]y [c]on[d]e[s]cen[d]ing in the [c][l][a][ss]i[c] bu[r]eau[c][r][a]ti[c] [m][a]nner. Yet [th]ere's [th]i[s] [m]i[s]guided n[o]tion [th]at [th]e [s]t[r]ipper [o]n[l][y] [t]al[k]s [t]o [c]u[s]to[m]ers, whe[n] i[n] [f]a[c]t the [s]tri[pp]er [s][p]ea[k]s to [i]n[f][i]nite[l][y] [m]ore [p]otential [c]u[s]to[m]ers th[a]n [a][c]tual [c]u[s]to[m]ers---the [s]u[cc]e[ss][f]ul [s]tri[pp]er, in [f]a[c]t, has no [m]ore than a [s][m]all hand[f]ul of [c]u[s]tomers that [p]ay her [b]ills---and, [b]y [c]ontra[s]t, it’[s] th[e]se [p]otential [c]u[s]to[m]ers who are [i]nf[i]n[i]te[l][y] [m]ore [l]i[k]e[l][y] to be [d]i[l]a[p]i[d]ated. The a[c]tual [c]u[s]to[m]er is [m]ore [l]i[k]e[l]y to be o[p]u[l]ent and jovial, un[r]e[s]t[r]ained and [d]e[c]a[d]ent, while the [p]otential [c]u[s]to[m]er is [a][l][m]ost [a][l]ways entire[l]y [d]i[l]a[p]i[d]ated. G[i]v[i]ng th[i][s] [p]o[t]ential cu[s]tomer the [t]ime of day is [a]lmo[s]t [a] [r]e[l][i]g[i]ous act on [th]e [p]arts of [th]e [s]t[r]i[pp]ers and whores. And it’s for [p][r]e[c]i[s]el[y] thi[s] [r][ea]son I have [s]o [m]uch [m]ore [r]e[s][p]ect for [s]t[r]i[pp]ers and whores than I [d]o [f]or the [m][e][d][i]an [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer [d][r]in[k]er. W[e] [b]e[l][ie]ve [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer [d][r]in[k]ers are [l]au[d]a[b]le mem[b]ers of our [s]o[c]iety, [w]hile [w]e [d]e[n]ig[r]ate [s]t[r]i[p]pers and whores, [b]ut I a[c]tual[l]y find [s]t[r]i[p]pers and whores to [b]e [l]au[d]a[b]le mem[b]ers of our [s]o[c]iety, wh[i]le [I] [d]e[n]ig[r]ate [c][r]aft beer [d][r]in[k]ers. There's [o]n[l]y [s][o] much you [c]an do for a guy who's [b]e[c]o[m]e a [b]u[m] on the [s]t[r]eet, one [p]arti[c]u[l]ar [b]um a[pp][r]oached me on a [s]e[c]o[n]d [d][a]te i[n] a[n] a[l]leyw[ay] a[n]d [r]e[f]erred to the [g]irl I [w]as [w]ith as my [w]i[f]e, and I [g]ave him ten [d]ol[l]ars, but even that [t]en [d]o[l]lars wasn't [s]in[c]ere, that [t]en [d]o[l]lars was a [d]i[s]ingenuou[s] [t]en [d]ol[l]ars, it was obviou[s][l]y [f]or the be[n]e[f]it of the girl I [w]as [w]ith. You [n][ee]d to [s][p][ea]k to [p][eo][p]le in [d][i]la[p]i[d][a]ted [s]t[a]tes, [l]arge[l]y [b]e[c]ause it's the on[l]y thing you [c]an [d]o that will, [a]t [b]ottom, h[a]ve a [p][a]l[p]a[b]le effe[c]t.
18--- 506:657 .770
What hap[p]ens to them will [l]arge[l]y [b]e [f]ata[l]i[s]ti[c], it will [b]e a matter of [f]ate [s]tat[i][s]t[i][c]ally [s][p]ea[k]ing, [b]ut it’[s] j[u][s]t [u]tter [c][r]uel[t]y [t]o ignore them, [t]o [t][r][ea]t them as [p][eo][p]le who [d]on’t [d]eserve the [t]ime of [d]ay, [n]ot eve[n] [a][n] iota of your [a]fter[n]oon, to [c]om[p][l][ai]n to your [w][ai]ter [b]e[c]ause a [w]hite jun[k]ie in your [l][i]ne of s[i]ght is ruining the [B]art[l]ett [p]ear after[t][a]ste of your [t]en do[l]lar I[P][A]. [B]ut th[i][s] [i]s what’[s] happened to [s][o] many [d][ow]nt[ow]ns, these [s]ame [d][ow]nt[ow]ns I [s]till g[o] to, these [d][ow]nt[ow]ns th[a]t h[a]ve [m]y [m]e[m]ories [f]ol[d]ed into them, [m]aybe a [d]e[c]a[d]e or [m]ore [f]ol[d]ed into [th]em---[th]ey’ve [b]e[c]ome i[n]un[d]ated with [c][r]aft [b]eer [d][r]in[k]ers. It’s [n]ot [th]e [b]ums who o[ff]end me, [n]o, it’s the [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer [d][r]in[k]ers who o[ff]end me. It’s the [p]eo[p]le who [b]e[l][ie]ve twelve [d]o[l]lars for a [b]eer is an a[pp][r]o[p][r]iate [p][r]ice to [p]ay for a [b]eve[r]age. It’[s] the [p]eo[p]le who thin[k] [d]i[s][c]u[ss]ing the afterta[s]te of ho[p]s is an a[pp][r]o[p][r]iate [c]onver[s]ation to have in [p]ub[l]i[c]. It’[s] the [p]eo[p]le who be[l][ie]ve [s]t[r]i[pp]ers and whores are [p]eo[p]le we should [l]ook down u[p]on a [p][r]io[r][i]---it’[s] the [p]eo[p]le who [m][ai]n[t][ai]n all the [s][o]cia[l]l[y] a[pp][r][o][p][r][i]ate o[p]inions but [d]i[s][p][l]ay all of the [m][o][s]t [c]oward[l][y] [t]e[n][d]e[n][c]ies. Our [d][ow]nt[ow]ns are [b]eing [r]uined [b]y th[e]se [p][eo][p]le, w[h]o [h]ave the [c]o[r]re[c]t o[p][i]n[i]ons on eve[r]y issue---at [b]ottom all th[e]se [p][eo][p]le [c]are a[b]out is m[ai]nt[ai]ning the [c]or[r]e[c]t o[p][i]n[i]on on any issue [a]t h[a]nd. Our d[ow]nt[ow]ns [w]ere [o]n[c]e [g][r][ea]]t [p][l][a][c]es to [g][r]ab a [s][l]i[c]e of [p]izza---f[i]lled w[i]th bums and [s]t[r]i[pp]ers and whores---[b]ut [n][ow] our [d][ow]nt[ow]ns are i[n]un[d]ated with [c][r]a[f]t [b]eer [d][r]in[k]ers and [f][r]ied [c][a][l][a][m]a[r]i and [m]ozza[r]el[l]a [s]ti[ck]s and j[a][l][a][p]eno [p]o[pp]ers and [p]eo[p]le who have [s]ocial[l][y] a[cc][e][p]table o[p][i]n[i]ons on [e]ve[r]ything. [I]t’[s] d[i][s]gu[s]ting [r]ea[l]l[y]. [B][u]t [o]f course a[ll] [r]ationa[l][i]sm [i]s [l]ittle more than a[b][s]ur[d]i[s]t [p][r]o[p]agan[d]a. It’s on[l][y] via [r]ationa[l]ism, [a]n [e][ss]entia[ll][y] Ang[l]o con[c]ept, that we find our[s]elves [w][i]th[i]n a [p][r][i]sm [w]here eve[r]yth[i]ng [i]s Ang[l]o, [w]h[e]re [e]ve[r]y [w]hite jun[k]ie and b[l][a][ck] [c][r][a][ck]head are [e][q]ua[ll][y] Ang[l][o]. It's [o]n[l][y] [w]he[n] [w]e atte[n]d the [f]une[r]als of c[l][o]se [f][r]ie[n]ds who die ab[s]urd[l]y young that w[e] [r][ea][l]ize [th]i[s], [th][a]t all [r][a]tiona[l][i]sm [i]s [l]ittle more than [l]u[r][i]d absu[r][d][i]st [p][r]o[p]agan[d]a. On[l][y] [p][eo][p]le who attend these [f]une[r]als under[s]tand thi[s] [f][r]om ex[p]e[r]ien[c]e. We [r]ealize not ju[s]t the a[b][s]urdit[y] of th[e]se [c]onver[s]ations [b]ut the a[b][s]urdit[y] of our[s]elves---A[n]d eve[n] i[n] my [c]ase, it was on[l][y] a [f]ew years [a][g]o when [a] [g]ood [f]riend of m[i]ne [f][i]nal[l][y], a[f]ter years of [s][ee]ming[l][y] [c][ea][s]e[l]e[ss] [s]u[ff]e[r]ing, g[a]ve in to [l][a]te [s]t[a]ge b[r][ai]n [c]an[c]er. The entire ord[ea]l was [c][r]i[m]i[n]al, and to [b]e [c][l][ea]r I was p[r]o[b]a[b][l]y one of the [m]ost [c][r]i[m]i[n]al.
19--- 434:601 .722
[M]y social [c][r][i][m][i][n]a[l][i]ty h[a]s [p]erh[a][p]s [n]ever been [m]ore a[c]ute than [d]u[r]ing this [p]e[r]iod of [m][y] [l][i]fe. [M][y] [f][r]iend was [d]iag[n]o[s]ed with [l][a]te [s]t[a]ge [b][r][ai]n [c]an[c]e[r] and moved [b]a[ck] in [w][i]th h[i]s pa[r]ents [w]here, [n]ot [l]ong a[f]ter, h[e] [s]u[ff]ered a [s]eizure wh[i]le [d][r][i]ving, [t]otaled his car, and was [f][r]om then on [f]orbi[dd]en [t]o [d][r]ive. [S]o n[a]tu[r]a[ll][y], [b]eing a good [f][r]iend, [b]eing [a]ctua[ll][y] a [b]etter [f][r]iend to him than even a [f]ew of the [f][r]iends [h]e'd [h]ad [f]or [d]e[c]a[d]es, a [b]etter [f][r]iend at lea[s]t in [t]erms of [t]ime [s][p]ent, I [t]oo[k] it u[p]on [m]y[s]el[f] to [d][r][i]ve [t]o his [p]a[r]ents’ house [m]ul[t]i[p]le [t][i]mes [p]er [w]ee[k], after [w]or[k], [w]here I alrea[d]y had a [d]ecent [c]om[m]ute, [w]hich [w]asn't a[n] i[n]s[i]gn[i]f[i][c]ant [d][r]ive, to his [p]a[r]ents’ [h]ouse, to [h]ang out w[i]th h[i]m, to [p][i]ck h[i]m u[p] and then d[r]ive him to other [p]laces [w]here [w][e]'d hang [ou]t [f]or a [r][ea]sonable am[ou]nt of time, [w]here a[f]ter[w]ard [I]'d [d][r][i]ve [h]im back to [h]is pa[r]ents' [h]ou[s]e. Th[i][s] was a [d][i][ff][i][c]ult or[d]eal [f]or my [f][r]iend [a]s you [c]an im[a]gine, and there were va[r]ious [s]e[r]ies [o]f [u]p[s] and [d]owns---had I [b]een [b]orn into [w]ealth I’d have [d]one [w]hatever he a[s]ked, [b]ut [b]ein[g] a wor[k]in[g] [s]tiff there was [o]nly [s][o] much that I [c]ould do, there [w]ere [t]imes he [w]an[t]ed [t]o get an ice [c][r]eam [c]one and I, unfortunate[l][y], had to [d]o [l]aun[d][r][y]. A young man with [l][a]te [s]t[a]ge [b][r][ai]n [c]an[c]er, e[ss]ential[l][y] a [d]eath [s]enten[c]e, [w]anted to [b]uy [m]e a [m]int [ch]o[c]o[l]ate [ch]i[p] [w]affle [c]one, [b]ut I had to [p]ol[i]te[l][y] [d]e[c][l][i]ne [b]e[c]ause [I] nee[d]ed to wash my [b]oxer [b][r]ie[f]s. I[n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e his girl[f][r]iend, who was [y]ounger [th]an [th]e two of u[s] [y]et [s]till [y][ou]ng, [d][u]mped him not long a[f]ter, and [f][r]om this we [c]on[c][l]u[d]ed that ap[p]a[r]ent[l]y [w]aiting [f]or him [t]o [d]ie [w]as [t]oo much of a bu[r]den [f]or her, wh[i]ch [i]n [r]et[r]o[s][p]ect I [s]u[pp]ose is [f]air [e][n]ou[gh], [n]ot [e]ve[r]y[o]ne has the [p][a]tien[c]e to [w][ai]t [f]or [s][o]me[o]ne to die, a [t]erm[i][n][a]l [i]ll[n]e[ss], for [s]ome [p][eo][p]le, [c]an just [b][e] a [b]it [t]oo in[c]onvenient, a [t]ad [t]oo [c]um[b]er[s]ome. At the [t]ime, I d[i]dn't th[i]nk [m]uch of it, [m]y [f]riend was [f]air[l]y [t]orn [u]p [a][b]out it, and who could [b][l]ame him?---[b]ut, again, with the ex[c]e[p]tion of [c]on[s]o[l]ing a [p]er[s]on in a mo[r]e o[r] [l]e[ss] gene[r]i[c] [w]ay there's not much [w]e [c]an [r]ea[l]i[s]ti[c]a[ll]y do. We [c]an [t]ell our [d]ying [f][r]iend that his ex-girl[f][r]iend is a [t]e[r]ri[b]le person, a [t]aw[d][r]y whore, that he [d]eserves [b]etter, [b]ut the [r]ea[l][i]t[y] [i]s there's [n]ear[l][y] [n]othing [y]ou [c]an tell a [y]oung per[s]on who, in all [l]i[k]e[l]ihood, will [d]ie a [s][l]ow [d]eath, there’s [n]ext to [n]othing you [c]an tell [h]im that will [c]om[f]ort [h]im when [h]is att[r]a[c]tive girl[f][r]iend [r]uth[l]ess[l][y] [l][ea]ves him.
20--- 483:709 .681
It’[s] g[r][ea]t to [s][ay], it's an [a]ppealing i[d]e[a] to [th]in[k] [th]at we [c]an [a][r]r[i]ve at the [d]oor of a [d][y]ing young man and [a]lter his li[f]e [f]or the [b]etter, [b]ut [i]t’[s] [s][i]gn[i][f][i][c]antly [m]ore d[i][ff][i][c]ult [th]an you [m]ight [th]in[k], in [p]ra[c]ti[c]e it’[s] [m]o[r]e o[r] [l]e[ss] an [i][m][p]o[ss][i]b[i][l][i]t[y]. You [i][m][a]gine [a]t [th]e time [th]at you're [s]aying [s]omething un[i]que[l][y] en[l]ighte[n]i[n]g whe[n] i[n] rea[l]it[y] you're ju[s]t mind[l]e[ss][l][y] [s]pewing ge[n]e[r]i[c] [c]on[d]o[l]en[c]e[s]---ge[n]e[r]i[c] [c]on[d]o[l]en[c]e[s] that a[r]e [h]a[r]d[l]y of any [h]e[l]p at a[ll]. [H]aving [s]aid that, [d]u[r]ing my [d]ay-to-[d]ay [r]outi[n]e I [th]ought almo[s]t no[th]i[n]g of his ex-girl[f][r]iend, I le[f]t it [a]t [th][a]t, I [th]ought she was t[a]king the easy w[ay] out, there's [n]o [d][ou]bt a[b][ou]t that, [b]ut I [d]i[d]n't [n]e[c]e[ss]ari[l]y cu[r][s]e her [n]ame in m[y] pe[r][s]onal t[i]me, I [f]elt [l]ike it was her decision, and ulti[m]ate[l]y i[f] she [f]elt as though my [f]riend wasn't the pe[r][s]on she [w]anted to [w]ait [f]or, in a te[r][m]inal [s]e[n][s]e, then I re[s][p]e[c]ted th[a]t [a]s her [d]e[c]ision, [th]at [th]ere was little any of u[s] [c]ould [d]o [b]es[i][d]es re[s][p]e[c]t her [d]e[c]ision and [s][p]ea[k] [p]oorly of her [b]eh[i]nd her [b]a[ck]. I d[i]dn't th[i]n[k] m[u]ch [o]f it at all a[c]tua[l]l[y] un[t]il the [f]o[ll]o[w]ing [w][e]e[k]end [w]hen I [w]as at [a] bar [a][r]ound [c][l]osing [t]ime with a [c][l]ose [f][r]iend, and I [f]elt a tap on my sh[ou]l[d]er, [o]n[l]y to [f][i][n]d this ex-girl[f][r]iend of my [d][y]i[n]g [f][r]iend. [Sh]e said [sh]e ju[s]t wanted to [s]ay hi, and [s]ub[s]e[q]uent[l][y] I [s]aid h[e][ll]o, y[e]t [o]n[l][y] a few [m][o][m]ents [l]ater I [r]e[c]eived yet a [s]e[c]ond tap on the shoulder. Now this ex-girl[f][r]iend's [f][r]iend, who a[cc]om[p]anied her to the l[o][c]ale, was [s]tanding in [f][r]ont of my [p]er[s]on, and she [p][r][o][c]eeded to in[f]orm me that I was [q]u[o]te-un[q]u[o]te “[k]ind of [r]ude” to m[y] [d][y]ing [f][r]iend's ex-girl[f][ri]end, that I [c]ould [h]ave said [h]e[ll]o just a [l]ittle more [c]ordia[ll][y], this [f][r]iend of m[y] d[y]ing [f][r]iend's ex-girl[f][r]iend [a]ctua[l]l[y] h[a][d] the au[d][a][c]it[y] to [s]t[a]nd there and with in a [s]tate of [s]in[c]erity [s][p]ea[k] th[e]se exa[c]t words to m[e], to [p]ro[c][l]aim that it was a[c]tual[l][y] m[e], [th]at I [w]as [th]e [p]erson w[h]o [w]as [c]ommitting the faux [p]as [h]ere, that [I] [w]as the [o]ne just a [l]ittle out of [l][i]ne, that my [l]e[ss] than enthusia[s]tic [h]e[ll]o was the [t]rue a[f]f[r]ont to good [t]aste [h]ere. Given the [c]ir[c]um[s][t]an[c]es, [m]y [t]e[n]de[n][c]y [t]oward the i[n][t]empe[r]ate [t]oo[k] hold of me, and I in[f]ormed them [b]oth of [m]y [f]ee[l]ings on the [m][a]tte[r], that I [p]erha[p]s in[f]ormed them of [m]y [f]ee[l]ings i[n] a[n] acer[b]ic [m][a]nne[r], in [p]erha[p]s the [m]o[s]t a[c]erbi[c] [m][a]nner I [c]ould i[m][a]gine [a]t the time. I let them k[n][ow] in [n][o] unce[r]tain [t]e[r]ms who I [b]e[l]ieved was [c]o[m]mitting the [t]rue f[aux] p[a]s at this [b][a]r, [l]ate [i][n] the [e]vening, [w]here [w]e [w]ere all [i][n][e][b][r][i]ated. [I][n] a[n]y [c]a[s]e, ju[s]t [m][o][m]ents later I [r]e[c]eived an a[dd][i]t[i]o[n]al ta[p] on my sh[ou][l][d]er. The [b]oun[c]er of the [b]ar [s]tood in [f][r]ont of me, [r][a]ther [a][p]athetic, and in[f]ormed [m][e] th[a]t I n[ee]ded to l[ea]ve the [p]re[m]ises be[c]ause “the girl [o]ver there,” [q]u[o]te-un[q]u[o]te, was [c][l]aiming I ph[y]s[i][c]a[l]ly [h]it [h]er.
21--- 596:752 .793
A girl who j[u][s]t [d][u]mped m[y] [d][y]ing [f]riend [s]aid [h]e[l]lo to me then [h]ad [h]er [f]riend ver[b]a[ll][y] [a][s]sault m[e] for [a][ll]eged[l][y] not [b]eing [e]nthusias[t]ic [e]nou[gh] when I [r]eturned [h]er [r]ep[r]ehen[s]i[b]le [h]e[ll]o, then I [s]u[b][s]e[q]uent[l][y] ver[b]a[ll][y] a[ss]aulted [b]oth [h]er and [h]er [f][r]iend [f]or [c]on[c]erning [th]em[s]elves with en[th]usia[s]ti[c] g[r]eet[i]ngs as o[pp]osed to [p]eo[p]le [d]y[i]ng arduou[s] [d]eaths, then sh[e] [f]al[s]e[l][y] a[cc]used m[e] of [ph][y]s[i][c]a[ll][y] [h]itting [h]er in a [p]ub[l]i[c] [p][l]a[c]e. [L][u][c]ki[l][y] en[ou][gh] [f]or m[e], [th]i[s] notion [th]at a [p]er[s]on [p]unched a [f]emale in a venue [d]en[s]e[l][y] [p][a][c]ked [a]t th[a]t [c]a[p][a][c]ity, yet m[a]naged to [l][a]nd a [p]unch [s]o [c][l]an[d]e[s]tine[l][y] [n][o] one in the venue [n][o]ti[c]ed, that [n][o] eye [w][i]t[n][e][ss]es [e]me[r]ged [w]as ab[s]u[r]d to all [p]arties in[v]olved, yet I [s]till [v]igorou[s][l][y] [p][l][e]ad my [c]a[s]e, be[c]ause I’d ne[v]er [p][l]ead guilty whe[n] i[nn]o[c]ent, [s]o I vigo[r]ou[s]l[y] [d]e[f]en[d]ed my [n]ame against what I [c]o[r]re[c]t[l][y] in[t]er[p][r]eted [t]o be a [t]otal [d]e[f][a][m]ation of [m]y [c]hara[c]ter, [a]gainst thi[s] t[a][s]te[l]e[ss] [c]hara[c]ter a[ss]a[ss]in[a]tion, a [l]eg[i]t[i]mate a[ss]a[ss]in[a]tion [a][tt]empt, all---un[b]e[l][ie]va[b]le as it may [s][ee]m---as a [s]u[b][s]e[q]ue[n]t [r]e[s]ult of me [r]efu[s]ing to [r]eturn a[n] e[n]thu[s]ia[s]ti[c] he[l]lo. A[n] une[n]thusiastic he[ll]o near[l][y] [t]urned m[e] in[t]o an [s]eriou[s][l][y] a[ll][e]g[e]d [f][e][l]on, and as I’m de[f]ending my[s]el[f] [v]igo[r]ou[s][l][y], [p]erha[p]s [e]ven [e][x][c]e[ss]ive[l][y] [v]igo[r]ou[s][l][y], the [e][x]-girl[f][r]ie[n]d [a]m[b]les over with her [d]ege[n]e[r]ate [f][r]ie[n]d [a]nd [a]dmits that her [c][l][ai]m was entire[l][y] [f]a[b][r]i[c][a]ted, th[a]t it h[a]d [a][b][s]o[l]ute[l][y] no [b]a[s]i[s] in [r]ea[l]it[y]---a[n]d the[n] the [e]x-[g]irl[f]rie[n]d a[n]d her [d]ege[n]e[r]ate [f][r]ie[n]d, the t[r]ue [N]azi of [e]nthusiastic [g][r]eetings, [d][r][i]ve [r][igh]t off, ad[m]itting in [s]o [m]any [w]ords [th]at [th]ey [w]ere in the busine[ss] of a[ss]a[ss]inating the [c]ha[r]a[c]ter of anyone who [f][ai]led to [s][ay] he[l]lo to [th]em en[th]usia[s]ti[c]a[l]ly, [th]at [th][ey] e[q][ua]ted a [l]e[ss] [th]an en[th]usia[s]ti[c] g[r][e]eting w[i]th [ph][y]s[i][c]al vio[l]en[c]e. The next morning I [r]e[c][e]ived a [c]all [f][r]om my [s]i[ck] [f][r]iend, [a]nd [a]s he add[r]e[ss]ed the [s]ituation [f]rom the p[r][e]v[i]ou[s] night, it [b]e[c]ame [r]e[l]ative[l][y] [c][l]ear to m[e] that h[e] was, [f]or [l]a[ck] of a [b]etter [ph][r][a]se, t[a][k]ing her [s]ide. In [m][y] [m][i]nd at the t[i]me thi[s] de[f]en[s]e of thi[s] per[s]on was [s][y][n]o[n][y][m]ou[s] w[i]th ta[k]ing her [s]ide, which, [a]s you [c][a]n i[m][a]gine, [l]ed to a [b]it of a [f]a[l]ling out [b]etween u[s], as [h]e [f]ound [h]im[s][e]l[f] a[tt][e]mp[t]ing [t]o [w]or[k] [th]ings out [w]i[th] a girl w[h]o now [h]at[e]d [e]ve[r]y a[s]pe[c]t of my [b]eing and [v]i[c]e [v]er[s]a. It was [a] [b]it [o]f an im[b][r][o]gli[o], [b]e[c]ause n[ow] I [f][ou]nd my[s]el[f] e[ss]entially a[b]an[d]onin[g] m[y] [d][y]in[g] [f][r]iend as well. I [g]ave his [e][x]-[g]irl[f][r]i[e]nd [a]n [e][x]ten[d]ed ha[r]angue [r]e[g]ar[d]ing her [r]uth[l]ess aban[d]on[m]ent of [m][y] [d][y]ing [f][r]iend, then just [d][ay]s [l][a]ter I [f]ound my[s]el[f] [a]l[s]o [r]uth[l]e[ss][l]y [a]ban[d]on[i]ng h[i]m. Eventual[l][y] w[e]’d [s][ee] [ea]ch other again, [m][y] d[y]ing frie[n]d a[n]d [I], we'd [s][p]end [l][i][m][i][t]ed [t]ime [t]ogether here and there, of [c]our[s]e, our [f]riendshi[p] [d]i[d]n’t [c][ea][s]e [c]om[p][l][e]te[l][y], and it was [f]ine, there was no [b]itter[n]e[ss] [p]er [s]e, [b]ut our [f][r]iendshi[p], [f][r]ank[l][y], was obviou[s][l][y] [n]ever the [s]ame.
22--- 522:679 .769
His ex-[g]irl[f]ri[e]nd [a][b]andoned him, then she [f]elt as th[ough] I [g]ave her an [i][n][s][i][n][c]ere hel[l][o] at [a] [b]ar, then I [d]i[s][c][l][o]sed my t[r]ue thoughts on her [c]ha[r]a[c]ter, her [d]e[s]pi[c]a[b]le [c]hara[c]ter, her [r]uth[l]e[ss] a[b]an[d]on[m]ent of [m][y] [d][y]ing f[r]iend, then ju[s]t [d][ay]s [l][a]ter I [a]l[s]o [r]uth[l]e[ss][l]y [a]ban[d]oned m[y] [d][y]ing f[r]iend. It [t]oo[k] [q]u[i]te a [l]ong [t][i]me for him to [d][i]e---he [l]o[s]t [h]is [s]ight, and [h]e was almo[s]t ent[i]re[l]y b[l][i]nd, [h]e was admi[tt]ed to [h]o[s]pitals i[n] a [t]er[m]i[n]a[l]ly [i][n][t]er[m][i]tte[n]t fashion, v[i]s[i]t[i]ng w[i]th h[igh]-[p]r[i][c]ed [s][p]ecia[l]i[s]ts that brought [n][o][th]ing [o][th]e[r] [th]an [u]tte[r] [f]i[n][a]ncial [r]uin to his [f][a]mi[l]y, and [e]ventual[l][y] h[e] was [e][n]c[l]osed i[n] his bed[r]oom f[r][o]m [s][u]n[s]et [t]o [d]awn [t]o [d]inner, in [h]is pa[r]ents’ [h]ouse, an only child, a[b]an[d]oned [b]y [b]oth his [g]irl[f][r]iend and his [g]ood [f][r]iend. [F]our years [l][a]ter I [h]eard that [h]e’d entered [h]o[s]pi[c]e, that [h]e [l][ai]d on [h]is [d]eathbed, and I arr[a]nged to p[ay] h[i]m a v[i]s[i]t the [s]u[b][s]e[q]uent [m]orning with [m]y [c][ou]sin, [b][u]t he [d]ied over[n]ight. [D][ay]s l[a]ter, his [m]other [n]oted t[o] a [m][u]t[u]al [f][r]iend that she’d [p][r]e[f]er h[i]s [i]m[p]en[d]ing [f]une[r]al to be a [s][m]all [c]e[r]e[m]ony, that she [d]i[d]n't want it to [b]e a [b]ig [c][r]owd, a[n]d I [c]o[n][s]idered not atten[d]ing [b][e][f]ore [b][e]ing ulti[m]ately [c]o[n]vin[c]ed [b]y a [m]utual [f]rie[n]d [t]o [a][tt]e[n]d. [A]gai[n]st [m]y better judg[m]ent I [a]tte[n][d]ed the [f]uneral, y[e]t the [s][e][c]ond I [s]aw my [d][ea]d [f]ri[e]nd’s made-up [c]or[p][s]e in the [c]o[ff]in, the [s][e][c]ond [I] [s]t[e]p[p]ed in [s][igh]t of the [c]offi[n], a bout of i[n]t[e]nse [r]eg[r][e]t [c]ame over me, and [I] [r]eal[i]zed [I] had no [b]usine[ss] [a]tten[d]ing thi[s] [f]une[r]al, that I [a][b]an[d]oned m[y] [d][y]ing [f][r]iend, a[n]d the[n] I h[a][d] the au[d][a][c]it[y] to [a]ttend his [f]une[r]al, [e][ss]e[n]tia[ll][y] agai[n][s]t his own [m]other's [w][i]sh[e]s---not ex[p][l][i]c[i]t[l][y] again[s]t his [m]other's [w][i]sh[e]s but [i]m[p][l][i]c[i]t[l][y] again[s]t his [m]other's [w][i]sh[e]s. There was [n][o] [d]oubt his [m]other [m][o][s]t [l]ike[l][y] would have [p][r]eferred I [n]ot attend. There was [n]o [d]oubt, if [p][r]e[ss]ed, she would have [a]t [l][ea][s]t bee[n] [a]gn[o][s]ti[c] [v][i]s-[a]-[v][i]s my [a]tte[n][d]an[c]e, wh[i]ch, [c]on[s][i]dering her [p]re[f]eren[c]e was a [s][m]all [c]ere[m]ony, is [t]an[t]a[m]ount to [p][r]e[f]e[r]ring my ab[s]en[c]e. V[i]a the [p][r]o[c]ession [l][i]ne, it was [c][l]ear his [p]a[r]ents [c][l]ear[l][y] [ei]ther [d]i[d]n’t re[m]e[m][b]er [m]e or [d]e[l]i[b]erate[l][y] forgot m[e]. In my [s][ea]t I [c][ea][s]e[l]e[ss][l][y] [s]pe[c]u[l]ated whether they [d]i[d]n’t re[m]e[m][b]er me or [d]e[l]i[b]erate[l][y] for[g]ot m[e]. Me---the [g]uy who used to always [g]o [p]i[c]k u[p] their son, what a [g]reat [g]uy, I u[s]ed to go [p]i[ck] their [s]on u[p] more [f][r]e[q]uentl[y] than [e]ven his childhood [f][r]iends, [I] was such a n[i]ce g[uy], yet eventually of [c]our[s]e I [s]to[p]ped [c]o[m]ing [a]round, I [a][b]an[d]oned their [d]ying son [l]i[k]e we [a]ll eventua[ll][y] [a][b]an[d]on the ter[m]ina[ll][y] ill, and [s]u[b][s]e[q]uent[l][y] his pa[r]ents [f]orgot a[b]out m[e], and [r]ight[f]u[ll][y] [s]o. It would h[a]ve [a][c]tua[l]l[y] [b]een di[s]ta[s]te[f]ul [f]or the[m] to [r]e[m]e[m][b]er [m]e.
23--- 549:733 .749
The [m]o[m]ent I w[i]tn[e]ssed, [i]n [m][y] [d]ead [f]riend's [f]ather's e[y]es, that h[e] [ei]ther [i][n[t][e][n]t[i]ona[ll][y] or un[i][n][t][e][n]t[i]ona[ll][y] [f]or[g]ot m[y] [i][d]e[n]tit[y] I k[n]ew a[t]te[n][d]ing thi[s] [f]u[n]e[r]al was a [g][r][a]ve mi[s]t[a]ke. I s[a]t [b][a][ck] down in my [b][l][a][ck] [f]old out chair and [s]aid to my[s]el[f] Th[i]s [i]s the [l][a][s]t [f]u[n]eral I’ll attend, because [a]ttending a [f]u[n]eral is [a]lw[ay]s [a] [m]i[s]t[a]ke, it’[s] the [m]o[s]t [i]n[s][i]p[i]d [m][i][s]t[a][k]e we [c]an [m][a][k]e. [A][t]ten[d]ing a we[dd]ing [m]ay [b]e [a] [f]aux paus [b]ut [a][t]ten[d]ing a [f]uneral is [a]lw[ay]s a[n] i[n][a]ne [m]ist[a]ke. We [a]ll [g]ather [a][r]ound, [a]ll [f][r]iends and [f]ami[l][y], to [g]aze [i]d[i]oti[c]al[l][y] at a [s]ti[f]f [c]orp[s]e, then we [g][o] eat at a [l][o][c]al [r]e[s]tau[r]ant---we all [m]ind[l]e[ss][l][y] [s]tare at a [d]ea[d] bo[d][y], then we have a [n]i[c]e [m]eal. There’s [n]othing [m]ore [d]i[s]ingenuou[s] than a [f]u[n]eral, and the [m][o][s]t [d]i[s]ingenuou[s] [f]u[n]erals are th[o]se held [f]or the young. An esse[n]tially i[n]ter[m]i[n]a[b]le [d]isease, [b]ut the [m]e[d]i[c]al [p][r]o[f]essional [m]ade a [s][i]g[n][i][f][i][c]ant [f]ortune in the [p][r]o[c]e[s]s. A [c]a[r]eer’s [w]o[r]th for the [w]o[r][k]ing [c]lass, no [d]oubt. They exten[d]ed his [s]u[ff]e[r]ing, the [s]u[ff]e[r]ing of his [f]ami[l]y, the [s]u[ff]e[r]ing of eve[r]yone [a]round [h]im, then [a][l]lowed [h]im to [d]ie. [H]ow [m]a[n]y [h]un[d]re[d]s of thousands of [d]o[l]lars, [i]f [n]ot [m][i]ll[i]ons of [d]o[l]lars, were [s][p]e[n]t, only to exte[n]d a [m]an’s [s]uffe[r]ing and [s]till a[ll]ow him to [p]e[r]ish [p][r]e[m]ature[l]y? [B]ut of [c]our[s]e they [s]till a[cc]e[p]ted [p]ay[m]ent, [b]e[c]ause you never get [a]n A [f]or [e][ff]ort in this [c]ount[r]y, un[l][e][ss] you’re a m[e]di[c]al [p][r]o[f][e]ssional. It's on[l]y [d]o[c]tors who h[a]ve the au[d][a][c]ity to extend a [s][o]n’s [s][u][f]fe[r]ing, watch him [d]ie, and [s]ti[ll] [r]uin the [f][a]mi[l][y] [f]in[a]ncia[ll][y]. We think [s]o high[l][y] of [d]o[c]tors in this [c]ount[r][y], yet it [s][ee][m]s to [m]e that [d]o[c]tors are g[r]eater charlatans now [th]an [th]ey've ever [b]een. [B]ut of [c]our[s]e I atten[d]ed the [r]e[c]eption as [w][e]ll, [w]h[e]re the [d][i][s][i]ngenuous nature of the [e][n]tire [e]ve[n]t [r]eal[l][y] [c]ame into fo[c]u[s]. The [d][i][s][i]ngenuous [n][a]ture of the [e]ntire or[d]eal [n]atural[l][y] [r][ea]ched its [a][p]ex at the [r]e[c]e[p]tion, as it [b]ec[a]me ju[s]t a[n]other [s]ocial [e]vent. [I]t’[s] [i]m[p]o[ss]i[b]le to have an iot[a] of [r]e[s][p]ect [f]or your[s]el[f] or the [s]o[c]iety you [p]arti[c]i[p]ate in a[f]ter [a][tt]ending a[n] eve[n]t of th[a]t m[a]gni[t]ude. [S][i]tt[i]ng [i]n th[a]t b[l][a][ck] [f]old-out chair, [s]ta[r]ing at my d[ea]d [f][r][ie]nd's heavi[l]y [m][a]de u[p] [c]or[p][s]e, it [f][ai]led [t]o o[cc]ur [t]o [m]e then---I was t[oo] [c]on[s][u]med with di[s]gu[s]t [f]or my[s]el[f]---but in [r]et[r]o[s]pe[c]t my on[l]y [c]on[c][l][u]sion [f]rom that [d]ay is ju[s]t th[a]t, th[a]t [r][a]tiona[l][i]sm [i]s no[th]ing [m]o[r]e [th]an [th]e [m]o[s]t [l]u[r]id [f]o[r]m of ab[s]ur[d]i[s]t [p][r]o[p]agan[d]a. We’ve [c]o[n][s]t[r]u[c]ted a [r][a]tiona[l]i[s]t [A]ng[l]o world that h[a]sn’t [c]o[n][s]umed everything---not [q]uite yet---[b]ut that [s]till [r]e[m]ains e[ss][e]ntial[l]y o[b]j[e][c]tiona[b]le, ju[s]t as the [m][y][s]t[i][c] [B][y]z[a]ntine world, it’s natural oppos[i]te, was, [i]n [i]t[s] [e][ss]en[c]e, al[s]o [e]ntire[l]y o[b]j[e]ctiona[b]le. And the [d]o[c]tors who t[r]eat our [d][ea]d [f][r][ie]nds, [p][r]o[l]onging their [s]u[ff]e[r]ing and buying [h]omes in the [H]am[p]tons w[i]th the [c][r][i]m[i]nal [p][r]o[c]eeds, they're o[b]j[e]ctiona[b]le in [e]ve[r]y way.
24--- 368:499 .737
And the [p]eo[p]le who [a][ss][a][ss]i[n]ate our [c]ha[r]a[c]ters [b]e[c]ause [th]ey [f]eel as [th]ough we’re [n]ot [e][n][th]usia[s]ti[c] [e][n]ou[gh] [w]hen [w]e [s]ay hello to them at [b]ars, they’re [c][r][i][m][i]nals of the highest [m]agnitude. [B]ut we our[s]elves are ju[s]t as o[b]je[c]tio[n]a[b]le [a]s any of these [a][c]tors, we’re al[s]o [c][r][i][m][i][n]als of the highe[s]t [m]ag[n]itude, we're [p]erha[p]s the [m]o[s]t o[b]jectio[n]a[b]le. We a[s]tutely [r]e[c]og[n]ize [o]ur [o][pp]os[i]tes as [c][r][i][m][i][n]al be[c]ause we exi[s]t as [p]arts of the [s]ame [c][r][i][m][i][n]al wh[o]le. We [d][o][n]'t k[n][o]w how to [d]eal with [d]eath any[m]ore. We thin[k] our [s]cienti[s]ts and our do[c]tors are p[r]og[r]e[ss]ing, [th]at [th]ey’ll eventually p[r]og[r]e[ss] [t]o a [s][t]ate [w]here they’ll [o]n[c]e and [f]or all un[d]er[s]tand [d]eath, on[c]e and [f]or all when the [s]ad [r][e][a][l]ity is we [r][e][m][ai]n at the [a][p]ex of the [p][r][i][m][i]t[i]ve with [r]egards to [q]u[o]te-un[q]u[o]te [d]ea[l]ing with [d]eath. We're e[ss]e[n]tia[l]ly a[n] i[n][d]ige[n]ou[s] [p]o[p]u[l]ation when it [c]omes to in[t]e[r]a[c][t]ing with [d]eath. We’re z[ea]lot[s] of [p][r]og[r][e][ss], and as [s]uch we're [i]ll-e[q]u[i][pp]ed to [i]nte[r]a[c]t w[i]th any [s]ort of [p][r]ofun[d]ity, be[c]ause we're [s]u[s][p]en[d]ed in [p][r]og[r]e[ss], [w]e’re [s][t]u[ck] [w]aiting for our [s]cien[t]i[s]ts and [d]o[c]tors to give u[s] the [w]ord, to [g]ive u[s] the word [th]at [th]ey've finally [g][o][tt]en to the [s]o-called b[o][tt]om of [d]eath. [P][r][e]v[i]ou[s] [g]ene[r]a[ti]ons [s][p]o[k]e [p][r]o[f]ound[l]y in the [f]a[c]e of [d]eath, while our [g]e[n]e[r]a[ti]on [s]erves [c]ole [s][l]aw and chi[ck]en [p]armigi[a][n][a] at [f]u[n]e[r]al [r]e[c]e[p][ti]ons, the [i]m[a][g]es of [c]or[p][s]es [s]t[i]ll [f][r]esh in our mind. [P][r][e]v[i]ou[s] [g]e[n]e[r]ations un[d]er[s]tood [d]eath in a [p][r]o[f]ound[l][y] [g]e[n]e[r]al [s]en[s]e i[f] hard[l][y] at all in a [s][p]e[c]i[f]ic [s]en[s]e. We [c]on[s]u[m]e [m]ozza[r]e[l]la [s]ti[ck]s in the [f]a[c]e of [d]eath, we eat j[a][l][a][p]eno [p]o[pp]ers in the [f]a[c]e of [d]eath, we [d][r]in[k] [c][r]a[f]t beer with i[d]ioti[c] [t]ange[r]ine a[f]ter[t][a][s]tes in the [f][a][c]e of [d]eath. It’s, [f][r]an[k][l][y], [o]n[l][y] the h[o]me[l]e[s]s of ou[r] e[r]a wh[o] t[r][u][l][y] [r]e[c]og[n]ize the ills of the p[r]ivate [s]phere---‘[b]y exami[n]ing the [n]ature of [s]en[s]i[b]le [th]ings, [th]ese [p]eo[p]le have arrived at a [c]ertain [c]on[c]ept of God, but not at a [c]on[c]eption trul[y] worth[y] of Him.’